🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[alan thicke]

There's no way Xander calls Ralph "dad."

Assuming he isn't nonverbal (which wouldn't be surprising considering his lineage), he calls My Valle dad. Ralph is just some smelly creature who gives him chocolate milk in a government bunker while crying that his hot got dirty.

 

[HackerX]

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On one hand, he's got a point. God only knows how many xannieberries he takes on a daily basis. On the other, it's not like he manages himself well after he ingests them. It's just slurring, looping, falling out of his chair, and sometimes turning purple, but I can't imagine many would do better after taking 3x the recommended dosage, at a minimum.

 

[Jump]

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https://archive.is/IlNSl

None of this happened. It was all just A WORK to own the FanFictionFarms

Regarding when Pantsu left, IIRC wasn’t he in the middle of going back and forth between visiting “MAH SUHN!” In Sacramento and Dax in SoCal when she fled with Cozy Rozy.tv even though he tried to hide the passports from her?

Ya. That's the context of the "goodbye horses" clip when he was at Dax's studio.

 

[Goonbase Alpha]

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“The staff there loves me”

Lol. Lmao.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

That whole post reads like parody

You mean it isn't?

There's no way Xander calls Ralph "dad."

Assuming he isn't nonverbal (which wouldn't be surprising considering his lineage), he calls My Valle dad.

I think other people at the center say things like 'look, here's your dad', but when Xander asks for Daddy it's Valle that he means.

 

[Click reply to view]

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Sorry, am I misunderstanding something? He didn't let the kid keep his presents?

 

[Rage Pig]

The wonderful life of Piggertits. It's wonderful.



Full tweet

 

[HackerX]

Ya. That's the context of the "goodbye horses" clip when he was at Dax's studio

Wow man, he was in recovery!!! Or his lowest point!!! Whichever excuse he likes to use whenever he's more retarded than usual.

I think other people at the center say things like 'look, here's your dad', but when Xander asks for Daddy it's Valle that he means.

I imagine that whenever the words "daddy" and the like are spoken, Ralph turns around and says "where". Then he gets disappointed that Ronnie, Metokur, Juju, Null, or his new daddeh Hunter, aren't there. Though still TBD on the last one since I don't recall there being too much interaction with the last one ever since Ralph was doing some gonzo journalism and had their telegram conversation on the screen while trying to phonebook Harreh's phone number. Hunter did luck out though since his comms were all audio messages.

Sorry, am I misunderstanding something? He didn't let the kid keep his presents?

Not quite. Apparently Faith didn't want the toy at her house or whatever. Not particularly sure why since it's not like it was a drum set or powewheels. Also not sure how Ralph knew she wasn't going to allow Xanduh to bring it home if they aren't on speaking terms ATM, but could have been easier mitigated if Ralph asked prior. I'm assuming the mandatory plexiglass observer told him, or she simply stated as such in the custody communications app.

I wonder if he brought it back with him? Maybe threw it away or left it at the visitation building? He possibly returned it since that would be both funny and ridiculous while also being sensical.

 

[sufferhorse]

I wonder if he brought it back with him? Maybe threw it away or left it at the visitation building? He possibly returned it since that would be both funny and ridiculous while also being sensical.

thats why he kept the receits.

i think faith does not want any kind of batery powered electronics in gift form. Given that he put a keylogger on her phone after sending her to a psych ward, she doesnt want to risk the toy having any kind of listening or recording device in it.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Ralph voted for Obama and now Xander has Miles Morales as a childhood idol

Not 90s spiderman? Pleb's taste

 

[HackerX]

i think faith does not want any kind of batery powered electronics in gift form. Given that he put a keylogger on her phone after sending her to a psych ward, she doesnt want to risk the toy having any kind of listening or recording device in it.

Oh man. That does provide the most justification because the only thing I can think of is they don't want Xanduh to accidentally cause Grandma Ralph 2 to trip and fall. At the very least, I could easily see Ralph putting some cheap airtag knockoff to track the location.

It's still hilarious that Ralph was doing the keylogger shit for a variety of reasons. There's insecure and then there's sociopath, but it tracks the Ralphabehavior. I'm curious what makes someone that way in the first place. It's definitely not a single thing, but you don't accidentally end up monitoring and recording every communication involving other people who interact with you. It wasn't just limited to people residing in the Ralphaestate either since he bragged about blackmailimg people for years. Sandra definitely wasn't safe either, though I imagine most of her conversations recolved around dying soon.

It's amazing he was capable of installing a keylogger too. I know doing that shit is kinda retardproof these days, but Ralph was never tech literate. Yeah, this was years ago before we had weekly pillstreams but the man can barely manage discord callers or shutting off a stream.

Hell, he was somehow able to block Kiwifarms on his router back then which is something I'm unable to fathom Ralph doing. (Though kinda easy to get around by using mobile data instead of WiFi, but the keylogger would still catch it.) Both the technical part and the obsessed with people making fun of him part. I have to believe the Gaymor Gaytor provided assistance there. He's slightly less retarded with technology, and he'd have no qualms helping Ralph install keyloggers, much less blocking a URL/IP on Ralph's gateway. Gaytor should have pulled the big-brained move and started monitoring Ralph's communications, but that's more hindsight is 20/20.

 

[JustStopDude]

You know how some alogs get way to made at a lolcow.

I'm like that with Ralph, only I get really depressed. Like holy shit man, when do you hit the bottom? Arguing with a commencement video, posting your own needle dick online repeatedly, losing countless phones, sleeping in airport lounges, eating slop, and all the while, caring more about randos online instead of everything, even your health.

A William Faulkner novel wasn't this depressing.

 

[Um...]

The wonderful life of Piggertits. It's wonderful.

He’s finding it “hard to keep up with” the kid sitting in a room with him for two hours? And two days of that left him SO TIRED? What is he, 80 years old? He’s literally 40 going on 60 (or 80.)

Maybe if he did something besides sitting on his ass guzzling booze all day he wouldn’t be ‘SO TIRED.’ On the other hand he can’t really even go outside to walk when it’s 105 degrees every day and he’s too broke to join a gym so…he’s kinda cooked. Mmm, smell that sizzling bacon.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

It's definitely not a single thing, but you don't accidentally end up monitoring and recording every communication involving other people who interact with you.

We tend to judge people by our own standards. Because Ralph is deviant, spiteful, paranoid, selfish, vengeful and insecure, he assumes everyone else is too. He snakes on everyone eventually, so he thinks they'll snake on him and is stocking up on weaponry in the interim.
It's a good job he's on supervised visitation. Imagine what would have happened when Xander marked Ralph's hat if they were alone?

 

[Pale Empress]

I'm curious what makes someone that way in the first place. It's definitely not a single thing, but you don't accidentally end up monitoring and recording every communication involving other people who interact with you. It wasn't just limited to people residing in the Ralphaestate either since he bragged about blackmailimg people for years. Sandra definitely wasn't safe either, though I imagine most of her conversations recolved around dying soon.

It's about control. He's never been genuinely respected as an authority or a leader, so as soon as he gains any kind of advantage, he does anything he can to retain it. Ironically this just means it slips away from him even quicker. Like how he demands loyalty and fealty and then turns around and snakes his "friends" at the drop of a hat. "Do unto others before they do unto you" type of mentality.

His psych profile isn't really too complex or out of the ordinary. You can trace the development of his mentality through his childhood up through GooberGrape, up to IBS, and until the crumbling state of the sektur as it is now. This is the logical conclusion of a reactionary, cowardly, but most of all incredibly fragile ego. Beneath all that bluster and bragging and posturing is an insecure little fat kid terrified of being ignored and alone.

Especially now that his audience is greatly diminished, all his little stunts (the "works," getting fucked up on stream, slap fighting with Cancerman Jim and other personalities, etc) are designed to elicit attention. The worst thing that could happen to Ralph is for him to be ignored and forgotten. In his mind it's better to be a huge asshole piece of shit than to fade away, because then at least people will pay attention to him

 

[Um...]

Beneath all that bluster and bragging and posturing is an insecure little fat kid terrified of being ignored and alone.

A little fat BPD girl who can NOT handle rejection. He even confided in Harry Morris that he thinks he might have BPD (those DMs were funny btw. “A-ah’ve just been SO UPSET since Amanda left meh, Harreh. A-ah think ah might have BPD, Harreh.”) which Heinous Harry immediately posted on Twitter.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Tony Robbins with Anthony Hopkins but no Ralph is reading some poorly written self-help tripe some Pajeet copy and pasted and then stuck Anthony Hopkins face to it so idiots like Ralph would read and think it was extra deep and profound cuz a famous old guy said it.

Ralphamale is a true clickbait philosopher.

Since Ralph was ready to follow the advice of Sir Anthony Hopkins self-help author Brianna Wiest (who’s probably a disloyal bitch tbh) he should buy one of her guided journals. Maybe one of Ralph’s fans can buy him the guided journal entitled “I Am the Hero of My Own Life” which seems custom made for Ralph and might help him finish his much anticipated autobiography.

But Brianna seems to have written a book aimed directly at the Ralphamale entited “The Mountain is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery” This seems like just the audiobook that will turn things around for Ralph.

 

[sufferhorse]

We tend to judge people by our own standards. Because Ralph is deviant, spiteful, paranoid, selfish, vengeful and insecure, he assumes everyone else is too. He snakes on everyone eventually, so he thinks they'll snake on him and is stocking up on weaponry in the interim.
It's a good job he's on supervised visitation. Imagine what would have happened when Xander marked Ralph's hat if they were alone?

on that note, remember he sneakily took a picture of warski's passport when they were living together in miami, and held on to it for 4 years before releasing it to the world as a payback for the 'bog hog'

 

[Dropa5pack]

I

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Hasn’t he been “tapering” for something like 3 years?

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I

Hasn’t he been “tapering” for something like 3 years?

And in recovery!