Coffee snobs are faggots

[Cats]

anyone else remember that time when Surge came out in the 1990s and it was an overnight sensation that skyrocketed in popularity and then all of a sudden there was rumors it would shrink your testicles and so everyone immediately stopped drinking it and it disappeared as quickly as it had came

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I only drink black coffee. It's snobby and faggy, but in a different way.

 

[AbyssStarer]

I've said it before, I'll say it again:
If you can't muster the joie de vivre to enjoy cheap grocery store coffee then can you even enjoy life?

 

[Kurt Eichenwald]

Maxwell House is the best soft drink ever made.

 

[Eusa]

I enjoy a good strong black coffee maybe some sugar if its too bitter.

 

[Chris_Stuckmann]

You won't appreciate good coffee until you stumble upon it in a place you didn't expect. There's a breakfast place in a neighboring town that has unusually good black coffee, and it keeps me coming back even though it's a thirty minute drive.

 

[Cats]

lol right after reading this thread I got this tomfaggery in my youtube shorts:

this dude's coffee channel is just on a whole new level of snoot

 

[SenorCurditos]

Visiting http://milsteadandco.com/ a couple of years ago brought me face to face with Coffee Faggotry.

 

[Catler]

Coffee's only purpose is to give you energy, it's a literal drug. Coffee snobs would be further ahead drinking a red bull since it tastes better, is less effort, and has the same effects.

If you're drinking anything more fancy than a burnt Tim's double double from a location more than 100ft off an off ramp you're missing the point.

Fun fact, there's a form of coffee where the beans are eaten by a civit (wannabe cat), shit out, and brewed. This is what coffee snobs don't want you to know. It's called Kopi luwak btw.

Tea on the other hand? That's high class stuff. Tea is the morning drink of champions with nothing to prove and a world to conquer.

 

[Ogre Magi]

I agree with 95% of your post. Coffee snobs are annoying faggots, and there's not much one could say to protest that. However...

Because all coffee tastes exactly the same - like coffee.

This is where I have to disagree. Now, I don't drink much coffee, but when I do it's one of two things: cheap generic K-Cups that honestly compare closely to name brand K-Cups I used to drink, or a speciality brand where the coffee is grown in Hawaiian red clay dirt. If you are unaware, the clay content in this fucking dirt is at such a concentration that it has the potential to stain your clothes.

Now, I was skeptical at first too, but that coffee tastes entirely differently compared to the cheap stuff. It likely has to do with the soil it is grown in. I've never had Jamacian Blue Mountain Coffee, but that shit is super expensive, and I'm assuming it is likely in part because of the soil it is grown in.

I like estate-grown Hawaiian coffee but I'm not paying $40 bucks a bag for it

I see I am not the only one talking about a certain brand.

But yeah, every other coffee tastes the same to me besides my one exception, special brand.

Side note: Fuck the average American who needs to get their Coffee Milkshake from StarCucks every day. I don't understand how people can justify purchases like that for something so corporatized.

 

[TheRedChair]

I'm a coffee addict. I've fucking got to have it.

But OF COURSE there are those from GENERATION FAIL that ruin it for the rest of us.

As stated before I'm hardcore. I've roasted, tasted and brewed just about the different brands of coffee on this earth. I'm so hardcore that I can make the low quality crap you buy in a store and in certain ways make it taste better.

But it comes down to this.

Special coffee is desert coffee to be served after a good meal.

Real Coffee gets you up in the morning.

And I'm not kidding...

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Coffee is gay take the tea and amphetamine pill

 

[Aiōn]

I drink my coffee with oat milk because it tastes nicer.
Cheap coffee is the worst.

 

[Ogre Magi]

Coffee is gay take the tea and amphetamine pill

I know this is the coffee rant thread, but what are your favorite teas? I drink a lot of green, English breakfast, and earl grey, but am open to trying some others.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

I know this is the coffee rant thread, but what are your favorite teas? I drink a lot of green, English breakfast, and earl grey, but am open to trying some others.

Yorkshire or pure assam 99% of the time. Assam has a heavy flavor similar to coffee but without that unpleasant dry coffee mouth.

Sometimes I make chai but pre blended chai is for fags, you need to make it proper on the stove top with whole spices.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

You got me on that one. You're right.

Rn I'm really enjoying dark roast Sumatra, any other faggots also enjoying their coffee?

 

[Ogre Magi]

You got me on that one. You're right.

Rn I'm really enjoying dark roast Sumatra, any other faggots also enjoying their coffee?

I have to be up in the morning at quite an early time, but maybe I'll drink some cheap decaf. Or maybe I'll make some tea... I haven't decided yet.

 

[Grub]

anyone else remember that time when Surge came out in the 1990s and it was an overnight sensation that skyrocketed in popularity and then all of a sudden there was rumors it would shrink your testicles and so everyone immediately stopped drinking it and it disappeared as quickly as it had came

Yes. I actually do remember that.

Op is dumb and his tastebuds are broken. I'll drink cheap coffee but good coffee definitely tastes better.

I usually buy slightly above garbage coffee for weekdays to make for work and on weekends I'll buy a nice coffee from a coffee shop in town that has really nice coffee for cheaper than burned piss water starbucks coffee. Even mcdonald's has better coffee than starbucks. Only coffee I won't drink is tim hortons. Even instant coffee is better than tim hortons.

Also, vietnamese coffee is pretty damn good. I had it the first time when I was working in a pretty asian area. I tried to find somewhere for lunch. I went to a chinese place but they wouldn't let me eat there because i'm not chinese so I went to a vietnamese place that was nearby. I got one of their coffees. It was super strong. Like it got me wired. It felt the same as when I downed 5 espressos in a row or when I ate an entire bag of chocolate covered espresso beans. It had a really nice taste though. I found it to be almost kind of like a mocha. They make it with condensed milk so it's pretty sweet. I don't really like sweet coffee, I don't use any kind of sweeteners usually, but I didn't mind it.

A friend of mine came back from a trip to vietnam with a big bag of coffee that was grown on the farm he'd been staying at. He gave me a bunch of it. I could never make it as good as that first one I tried though. I even bought the little vietnamese coffee maker thing they use but I never really got the hang of it before I ran out.

 

[Bone Santa]

I hope this post encouraged Null to shit on coffee snobs in today's MATI

 

[Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown]

Coffee's only purpose is to give you energy, it's a literal drug. Coffee snobs would be further ahead drinking a red bull since it tastes better, is less effort, and has the same effects.

I know that factually you are correct.

I remember buying Wake Up caffeine pills at the pharmacy when I used to be on-call for 24 hrs+, looking for a coffee alternative.

I never felt the pure caffeine pills worked the same.