Who Should Kiwi Farm's Next Mascot Be?

[FatMebius]

I want Bob to win. I must be loyle to my capo

 

[Dr. Octogonapus]

I said DSP originally but now that I think about it, I think it should be Terry. He was based and died for our sins.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I can't think of a single person who could possibly be a one-for-one swap for Chris, the closest there is are Alog & Phil Haskins, but that's only because they were involved with Chris at some point, neither of which eclipse him. As an aside, the only one in this list that really stands out to me is DSP, and he's not nearly to Chris' level of notoriety. None of these lolcows are quite the linchpin to internet culture that Chris was, he was uniquely the king of lolcowdom, boring though he was near the end. Chris was ubiquitous to the internet, everybody knew who he was before KF. Some of these other people are obscure to even regular users of the site.

 

[SaltyFanta]

I don't think there'll ever be another like Chris, as well I don't think the site will ever get away from him.

I think ethan ralph is gonna be popular on here for a while but nothing like chris.

 

[Gregor Samsa]

Justin RPG. He was a lot of peoples first lolcow. No drama, no sagas, no raping his mother. Just pure unadulterated (and sexy) autism.

 

[Lightning Rod]

DOMINATION IN PROGRESS

 

[Flour]

Kevin Gibes forehead.

 

[stain-maker]

Getting pumped for the results

 

[Pee Cola]

Russell Greer, but drawn in the chibi style to accentuate his unique facial features.

 

[Tove Lo]

Would love to see my boy JDANKS420 as mascot!

 

[Empresa]

this poll is rigged jdanks will never be the mascot

 

[Epic Fail Man]

What the actual fuck.




...I should have closed the poll yesterday

 

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

Ur mom

 

[TV's Adam West]

Joe.

 

[Xarpho]

This is kind of a fundmentally dumb argument because CWCki Forums already changed its name years ago to focus on non-Chris lolcows because with the action of the fire cooling down and Chris mostly going quiet again, it was accepted that it was inevitable that Chris would eventually move out of 14 BLC through eviction or Barb's death. Arguably, the Lolcow forums were founded because people were trying to find the "next Chris" but they really couldn't, and no lolcow's subforum has survived as long as his. I've been around since 2014 and I remember when there were separate fan art and "What If?" boards just dedicated to Chris.

We're now at the point where the main Chris forum will be closed forever, but I don't see a reason to go full damnatio memoriae on him. Morality is irrelevant when discussing this, as Chris was already an awful person, as are other lolcows; it's kind of a personality trait, and any other excuse makes you no better than the faggots who want to rewrite history (primarily Confederate stuff, but slowly radiating outward) because it doesn't fit their current, "enlightened" worldview.

 

[mr.moon1488]

I'd like to say Gina Marie Fournier, but she's just not active enough.

 

[SITHRAK!]

This survey is pointless without John Walker 'Brianna Wu' Flynt.
In the absence of the only logical choice I selected MovieBob, if only for his pendulous, eternally milkable moobs and complete ignorance of his total cultural irrelevance.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

We saved this man from a ridiculously contrived quagmire that he didn't deserve.

Yeah, after giving absolutely bullshit story that bitch gave some legitimacy, then eating her bullshit for almost a month, thus helping people to spread it around, only to push away users who refused to believe it and looking like a bunch of idiots in the end. Good job!

I vote for Ethan Ralph. At least his mother is dead and we won't have to go through this again.

 

[instythot]

Yeah, after giving absolutely bullshit story that bitch gave some legitimacy, then eating her bullshit for almost a month, thus helping people to spread it around, only to push away users who refused to believe it and looking like a bunch of idiots in the end. Good job!

I vote for Ethan Ralph. At least his mother is dead and we won't have to go through this again.

Plus: think of the pure concentrated seething that will result once he is immortalized as the KF mascot

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Plus: think of the pure concentrated seething that will result once he is immortalized as the KF mascot

I am surprised he wasn't during the first harvest. Well, except this, of course