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I made sad nachos topped with refried beans, taco meat, velveeta with rotel, holy guacamole dip, and shredded cheese. I thought getting whole wheat chips would make it healthier....
Out of desperation, I once tried to make nachos with a cheese sauce made of grated parm, water, and coffee creamer. No Bueno.
But surprisingly good (at the time) was a "salad" my friends and I made from ranch dressing, cornflakes, and bacon bits. My friend still eats this to this day, calls it stoner salad.
I tried to bake bread for the first time about a year ago and then realized halfway I had no yeast since we don't usually need yeast outside of pizzas and occasional pastries. I said fuck it and tried to make Naan (unleavened bread) out of it, looked to a different recipe and tried to nurse the concoction I was devising for that purpose instead.
Well, it turned out that I either misread the ingredient list of the former, the latter, or one of them was wrong with the sugar, butter, and salt count. It tasted like a biscuit from hell, just a shade too salty and rich than what the bread I was expecting should have been. I ate most of it in horrid sandwich form, but never tried to bake bread again after that.
Well, it turned out that I either misread the ingredient list of the former, the latter, or one of them was wrong with the sugar, butter, and salt count. It tasted like a biscuit from hell, just a shade too salty and rich than what the bread I was expecting should have been. I ate most of it in horrid sandwich form, but never tried to bake bread again after that.
I tried to make this banofee pie...And maybe it's because i got the wrong recipe, but it turned into this gooey mess that I could only taste the ugly mash of caramel/dulce de leche, and barely taste the banana or anything else.
Out of desperation, I once tried to make nachos with a cheese sauce made of grated parm, water, and coffee creamer. No Bueno.
But surprisingly good (at the time) was a "salad" my friends and I made from ranch dressing, cornflakes, and bacon bits. My friend still eats this to this day, calls it stoner salad.
Oh man, coffee creamer is not milk in any capacity. As a kid there was some milk ad on TV where a crazy cat lady is out of milk and tries to give her cats powdered coffee creamer mixed up with water in a huge bowl. Then the lights go out and you hear the cats hiss. So I thought to myself, maybe it's actually a good idea and cats just don't like it. So I tried the same. It was awful. It didn't taste all that bad. But it was watery and kind of powdery because I used cold water. I'd never try it again though.
Last year my sister used up all of the chocolate Coffee Mate to make some ghetto hot chocolate. She must have done it while I was asleep. That container cost like $4. Why didn't she just buy cheapo hot chocolate? It must have been bad. No one had used the coffee maker and there wasn't any milk missing. She had to have used water. With nearly an entire medium sized jar of Coffee Mate. I can't imagine how bad the taste of failure must have been.
And since people keep mentioning food banks... My family had to rely on them sometimes and we'd get all sorts of expired things. I don't know why people seem to think that it's ok to give the poor your expired groceries. Maybe some stuff just sits at the food bank too long. But I think the main culprit is people thinking that the poor don't mind bloated cans of inedibles. We got plenty of bloated and rusted cans of juice. I'm not sure if they still make those big cans of juice where you cut two holes in the top to pour it out. But they were common when I was little and they seemed to give them away by the ton at food banks. And we never got one that wasn't bloated or rusted. My mom wouldn't let us open them even though we wanted to see what was inside. I'm glad though. Probably puke inducing.
I think the worst was when me and my brother had to share a can of sloppy joe sauce. Just the sauce. It's all we had. It wasn't horrific. Just not very good. Because sauce isn't meant to be eaten like a meal. When you're a kid your taste buds are terrible anyway. So you don't notice as much how bad something might be. I'd probably puke if I had to eat that now.
People giving food banks shitty donations is most def a thing. It's more about cleaning out their pantry than helping for most people. I usually just donate money when I do donate. Most forms of donating is counterintuitive, surprisingly. You're doing more harm than good if you give a hungry family 5 cans of expired chillies from 1992 and only 2 cans of good veggies.
When I was 11, I had even less cooking knowledge than I do now. Mom wasn't home (she was at work), sister and I were hungry. What do I decide on? Oh, mac and cheese, that's easy enough! When I go to get the milk, though, it's expired. Old, chunky expired. Gross, right? Well, we still had a gallon of chocolate milk that was within date. It'll be fine, it doesn't taste that different. Into the mac and cheese it went.
Oh. God.
It was awful. Ended up having to throw it all out. Mom found it in the trash next day, and I got in a huge heap of trouble for trying to cook food by myself.
When I was 11, I had even less cooking knowledge than I do now. Mom wasn't home (she was at work), sister and I were hungry. What do I decide on? Oh, mac and cheese, that's easy enough! When I go to get the tard cum, though, it's expired. Old, chunky expired. Gross, right? Well, we still had a gallon of chocolate tard cum that was within date. It'll be fine, it doesn't taste that different. Into the mac and cheese it went.
This isn't a worst thing, but my brother and I used to like that Kraft Mac & Cheese with the cheese powder, back when that was the only kind that was around, and my dad would buy these things by the dozen. Both of us loved the cheese, so we would often make the mac & cheese and then, instead of adding one cheese packet, we'd add two, and just put the mac & cheese back.
This went on for a while, and as you can imagine, the boxes of mac piled up and eventually there were a couple dozen boxes of this shit without any cheese. Finally, one night my dad went through every single one of the boxes and couldn't find a single one with the powder, and it was one of the few times I've seen him flip his shit.
When he calmed down, he said "If you two idiots just threw out the fucking boxes I wouldn't have even noticed!"
This isn't a worst thing, but my brother and I used to like that Kraft Mac & Cheese with the cheese powder, back when that was the only kind that was around, and my dad would buy these things by the dozen. Both of us loved the cheese, so we would often make the mac & cheese and then, instead of adding one cheese packet, we'd add two, and just put the mac & cheese back.
This went on for a while, and as you can imagine, the boxes of mac piled up and eventually there were a couple dozen boxes of this shit without any cheese. Finally, one night my dad went through every single one of the boxes and couldn't find a single one with the powder, and it was one of the few times I've seen him flip his shit.
When he calmed down, he said "If you two idiots just threw out the fucking boxes I wouldn't have even noticed!"
I once botched a fudge recipe so badly it never set up properly. Too bad it was supposed to go with Christmas dinner otherwise we would have had a great ice cream topping.
I once botched a fudge recipe so badly it never set up properly. Too bad it was supposed to go with Christmas dinner otherwise we would have had a great ice cream topping.
Did it still taste good? I tried to make fudge for last Christmas, it didn't set properly. It was still firm enough to cut into pieces though, and was delicious.
Did it still taste good? I tried to make fudge for last Christmas, it didn't set properly. It was still firm enough to cut into pieces though, and was delicious.
I don't remember how it tasted as that was 10 years ago.
I do remember making that same recipe for a friend's new years party and it turned out fine. It was lopsided as shit but it tasted good.
I was like 6 or 7 at the time.
We had brought back Indomie that the airport had taken more than half of away from us from Nigeria. It was the first time I made it, so it was a mess. I took out a large ass pot, like one you would use to cook Christmas dinner in, and filled it up with water halfway. I put in the noodles, stirred it, then put in the seasoning and spices. It tasted like piss. I shoved it in the fridge for 3 days until I threw it out.
I was like 6 or 7 at the time.
We had brought back Indomie that the airport had taken more than half of away from us from Nigeria. It was the first time I made it, so it was a mess. I took out a large ass pot, like one you would use to cook Christmas dinner in, and filled it up with water halfway. I put in the noodles, stirred it, then put in the seasoning and spices. It tasted like piss. I shoved it in the fridge for 3 days until I threw it out.
I was surprised when I heard that Indomie was popular in Nigeria. The Satay one is insanely good.
When I was about that age, 7/8, my best friend and I decided to make Cheese Muffins we'd seen on TV, when I was sleeping over her house and her parents were at work. We gathered all the stuff needed for the recipe, her mum even bought Cheese, which being Chinese, she hadn't had much of before, so she was super excited about it.
I started to cook the batter part whilst I left her in charge of grating the cheese, she kept saying how easy it was to grate. After we finished cooking, we went to wash up and they had a big bar of Chinese brand Sunlight soap...
Which was also on the side of the sink, which we couldn't find, but it wasn't a big deal, we were successful muffin chefs.
We finished and our muffins were baked and her Mum was home, so we were excited to show how good we did.
We all bit into the freshly cooked muffins and they tasted really awful...
Turns out she'd grated the soap and not the cheese.
After that disappointment, her mum cut her some cheese to try... turns out it was probably for the best that she grated soap and not cheese, coz she was lactose intolerant and sick the whole next day.
Yesterday I was planning on making buffalo wings. There are no good wing places around here and I make them pretty well tbh, it's really simple, Frank's red hot and butter, idk why people around here can't just stick to that.
I had the chicken cooked up and put the red hot and butter on the stove. Then I fell asleep.
When I woke up it reeked of burning PLASTIC. I have never burned anything that smelled like this before. I had to double check to make sure I didn't leave anything else on the stove. After washing the pan, getting rid of the mess, opening windows, running the fan... it still smells like burning plastic today :/
I don't know what in red hot and butter equals burned plastic but it's kind of disturbing.. oh well... gonna try again today.
Yesterday I was planning on making buffalo wings. There are no good wing places around here and I make them pretty well tbh, it's really simple, Frank's red hot and butter, idk why people around here can't just stick to that.
I had the chicken cooked up and put the red hot and butter on the stove. Then I fell asleep.
For some reason I wanted to make French toast when all we had was cheapass wheat sandwich bread. I tried to dry it in the oven for a bit, but it got way too hard, so I guess I ended up oversaturating it, hoping that would compensate for it. Plus we didn't have any actual milk. so I used (flavored) powdered coffee creamer mixed with water for the egg mixture. The spices I added all fell to the bottom when I was soaking my bread, so I ended up with horribly soggy French toast that was far less flavorful than I'd wanted.
