Containment What If?

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What if Chris got married to a sweetheart from the ground up?

Whoever marries Chris would have to have the patience of a saint, a will of iron and low expectations.

That said, Chris seems to have fairly low standards for satisfaction.

If any children came out of the agreement I would feel true fear for them.

Wait, forgive me if I'm wrong but if Chris considers himself a woman is he going to stick his pickle duck anywhere, or would he use...other methods.

That sentence was painful, someone please pass the forks.
 
What if Chris got chosen by Barack Obama to save the world from an invading army of trolls?


Chris tries to stop the trolls for five minutes until he's turned into a vegetable and eaten.

Through their brief encounter with Chris, the trolls see what they believe to be the true madness of humankind and flee back to whence they came.

Wanting to reward Chris posthumously for his efforts, After reading Chris' posts online Sega changes Sonic's arms back and send his ashes to China.
 
What if Chris tried to use a get out of jail free card if he loses his next court date?
 
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