WHAT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS 2018 12/28/18 - I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

[nyankosensei]

It could just be the lighting, but I'm pretty sure she's still using foundation on her knuckles/neck to hide the discoloration. Too bad her new makeup kit didn't have a bottle -- she must go through a lot to keep painting over that shit, even with just 3 videos a week.

It also looks like she's been biting her nails. I feel like this is a new development.

i wonder why she is using foundation now and not before when the discoloration was barely starting? like everyone can notice it, why bother now?

 

[Pog Mathoin]

1. Fucking hell she is enormous - must be close to 600 now, surely?
2. She hates the dream catcher - I guarantee that will be the first thing to be hurled into the trash when/if she manages to get out of chez Fag. Or she will encourage the cats to destroy it when Becky isn't around. (I actually kind of like it in a macrame sort of way)
3. So many gifts related to personal hygiene - body sprays, scrubbing mitt, perfume. I'm guessing AL won't take the hint until they push her outside into the yard and turn the hose on her.
4. Cheap made-in-china make-up full of toxic chemicals and dyes..... some mystery skin rashes and eye infections to look forward to in the new year - yay!! You can tell she also HATES them.
5. I bet she also got given a bunch of candy but isn't showing it to us.
6. I kind of want that make-up mirror

 

[AbraCadaver]

1. Fucking hell she is enormous - must be close to 600 now, surely?
2. She hates the dream catcher - I guarantee that will be the first thing to be hurled into the trash when/if she manages to get out of chez Fag. Or she will encourage the cats to destroy it when Becky isn't around. (I actually kind of like it in a macrame sort of way)
3. So many gifts related to personal hygiene - body sprays, scrubbing mitt, perfume. I'm guessing AL won't take the hint until they push her outside into the yard and turn the hose on her.
4. Cheap made-in-china make-up full of toxic chemicals and dyes..... some mystery skin rashes and eye infections to look forward to in the new year - yay!! You can tell she also HATES them.
5. I bet she also got given a bunch of candy but isn't showing it to us.
6. I kind of want that make-up mirror

All stuff you give someone when you realize they have no job, hobbies or interests.

Alao good lord, those imposter fragrances STILL EXIST. Didn’t think I’d be saying hello to 1996 again, but hello there.

 

[Lunete]

I haven't seen those "Designer Imposters" perfume sprays since the 90's. I believe that one is imitation "Georgio Beverly Hills", which used to be sold at Walgreens alongside classics like Malibu Musk, Exclamation, and Tribe. Becky's mum must've had to dig deep in the back of the medicine cabinet to find that.

You can get those at just about any dollar store.

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

Nobody sent her a whole ham? I'm disappointed. What if she needs a snack?

 

[497]

Becky's mom got Hamber a can of Body Spray for Christmas I can't

The cognitive dissonance is a bit strong at the start, she's still talking about trying to 'fix mah sleep schedule' and how she's 'sooo tired, OMG I need to go back to bed'. I think she doesn't have any idea what Sleep Apnea is, or she's entirely blocked out everything from her doctor visit except for 'healthy, just big', 'everything is still reversable', and 'don't have to start anything until January 1st'.

Plus Becky bought her that big body pillow... she goes on how the people in her life know her so they buy her blankets and pillows....maybe by next year they can find a cpap machine with llamas, unicorns, kittens and mermaids on it.

And then the rest of the worthless junk and cheap makeup. They should of got her something useful like a weight watchers membership or a fitbit.

 

[C3PBRO]

Hahaha looks like we know what happened to that stupid fucking doily AL was wearing backwards for about a week. Becky done flung it over a hula hoop and called it a day.

 

[ricecake]

You can get those at just about any dollar store.

Looks like "Maw" went shopping for Amber at the Dollar Tree; I recognize those sachets from there.

 

[Xenomorph]

Looks like "Maw" went shopping for Amber at the Dollar Tree; I recognize those sachets from there.

AL buys an 85 buck centerpiece from her and she gives her max 10 bucks of stuff lmao

 

[RainbowStarlight]

What really disturbed me was when she was showing that huge pillow with the llamas or dogs or whatever on it. She's all "it's so big I can't even show you the whole thing." Well, even your average fatass could stand up, take a few steps back, and get the whole damn thing in frame. And then she can't even bother to even halfway stand up for a split second to properly toss the pillow back on the bed. She had to do this weird maneuvering thing with her arms. I guess she's so fat now she can't even turn her upper body even a little.

 

[Awkwafina]

And then she can't even bother to even halfway stand up for a split second to properly toss the pillow back on the bed. She had to do this weird maneuvering thing with her arms. I guess she's so fat now she can't even turn her upper body even a little.

Omg that had me absolutely rolling though. From start to finish she was truly struggling with that thing. It was so plainly obvious she couldn't get up or turn her body to grab it properly. Would someone be willing to gif that?

 

[Dr.Research]

I don't think it takes an expert makeup artist to know that giant makeup kits like that are not quality, at least not for an adult woman. Same for the liplgloss. Also note how that mini lotion looks comically tiny in Al's hands.

Edit: slightly ninja'd about the makeup.

It really it is mind boggling the quality of her gifts. Its not even that the gifts are budget. I can completely understand and sympathize with folks who don't have much extra money to spend. But this reaks of no thought and puchase out of obligation. Which is sad. Possibly sadder than if AL got nothing at all.

 

[Keyboard Warrior]

"I always like to tell people that I don't want anything for Christmas because it's always the thought that counts. I appreciate absolutely everything I received..."

Um, you paid for it. Why wouldn't you?

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Why does she need Christmas gifts when she gets crap from Torrid and Wommart what feels like every day?

I reckon the other Rolling Hills inmates didn't buy anything. They just went and dragged random shit out of her already extant hoard and chucked it into gift bags.

"Oh you guize!!!!!! How did you know Ah laaahked journals? It's soooooo caHEEEoote, an Ah only have five thousand!!!!!!! And wax melts!!!!!!! AMAYzeeeeeen home decor from the "Crap So Tacky Even We Can't Sell It" Wommart aisle!!!!! And this blanket is soHOOOOO soft - Ah had one just like this and lost it..."

*the others tense and look down at their feet. Well, Becky looks at her gut - she can't see her feet since she's been on Albert's weight loss plan. But all is well, the behemoth has moved on to wheezing over the next pile of pointless, witless crap...*

Later, after single-handedly eating the entire Christmas hippo, we get a private, snivelly moment with our goorl -

"....eeeeayurnd Ah am so thayurnkfurl for mah amuHAYzeeeeen freyunz* who jurz put saHOE muurch thoughtitudinousness into mah geeeyurfts that Ah gave theyurm the money to bah for me. Ah cayun't belEEEEEve they got me sturff Ah'd taHOEduhlly get for mahself an it's all juz....Ah cayurn't believe.....cyyooooote.....lucky......rully, rully luuuurve me.....blah blah blah blah BLAAAAAH"

Meanwhile, the amaaayzeeeen frenz are getting slammed on the various substances they bought with said money, knowing she'd never notice they "gave" her all her own crap and the only way they can get through Christmas with the squealing is smashed off their faces.



* Autofup tried to make that "cretins." At last, it is learning.

 

[lurkingcow]

people can tell by her size that she’s all about quantity over quality so they get her a bunch of cheap things because it’s the amount of gifts that matter. I hope no one bought her candy or gift cards, if she were on my gift list I’d get her a fucking cheap ass stationary pedal since she obviously can’t walk more than 2 feet before collapsing.

 

[Ozul]

Ugh the make-up made me cringe so much. Not only will it barely work and have next to zero pigment, but it's all made in China. NEVER use body/face products made in China, you never know what kind of chemicals are in that crap.

Aside from that, the rest of the stuff was cheap crappy garbage that she's already bought some variation of a billion times. The whole household is quantity over quality gifts. I don't understand why they wouldn't use all that money to buy ONE nice/usable gift instead of a bunch of small tacky crap that will never be used and soon go into the trash.

 

[NimertiS]

I think the perfume it's Sheer Beauty by Calvin Klein.

I know, I took a tester from my former job :deviant::powerlevel:

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Ugh the make-up made me cringe so much. Not only will it barely work and have next to zero pigment, but it's all made in China. NEVER use body/face products made in China, you never know what kind of chemicals are in that crap.
.

Sorreeee, but...nah. If it's sold through normal US retail outkets, it has to meet US standards - plenty of drugstore brands like NYX are made in China.

The dangerous stuff is the knock-off or some of the unlabelled. For instance, every big palette from brands like Morphe is simply badged and it can be a lot cheaper to buy at source, (there's a higher markup on badged stuff even than high end) but it's near impossible to tell with unbadged blanks.

But you're dead right about those kits, they are beyond shit. But Albert has no makeup skills anyway, so that's about her level.

 

[meepmapmop]

If anyone ever gets you toiletries for a gift, it's because they know nothing about you or don't give enough of a shit about you to find out what you actually like. And that's totally fine if you are just starting a relationship or friendship; you want to get someone a gift, but don't know about them enough to make it more personal. However, AL and Becky have been together for a while now... and if Becky's family is her family as she claims, why the thoughtless gifts? Same goes for Erik and Ricky. The obligation gifts are kinda sad, I'd feel bad for her if she wasn't such a nasty piece of work.

 

[Thiccc Weenie]

I reckon the other Rolling Hills inmates didn't buy anything. They just went and dragged random shit out of her already extant hoard and chucked it into gift bags.

"Oh you guize!!!!!! How did you know Ah laaahked journals? It's soooooo caHEEEoote, an Ah only have five thousand!!!!!!! And wax melts!!!!!!! AMAYzeeeeeen home decor from the "Crap So Tacky Even We Can't Sell It" Wommart aisle!!!!! And this blanket is soHOOOOO soft - Ah had one just like this and lost it..."

*the others tense and look down at their feet. Well, Becky looks at her gut - she can't see her feet since she's been on Albert's weight loss plan. But all is well, the behemoth has moved on to wheezing over the next pile of pointless, witless crap...*

Later, after single-handedly eating the entire Christmas hippo, we get a private, snivelly moment with our goorl -

"....eeeeayurnd Ah am so thayurnkfurl for mah amuHAYzeeeeen freyunz* who jurz put saHOE muurch thoughtitudinousness into mah geeeyurfts that Ah gave theyurm the money to bah for me. Ah cayun't belEEEEEve they got me sturff Ah'd taHOEduhlly get for mahself an it's all juz....Ah cayurn't believe.....cyyooooote.....lucky......rully, rully luuuurve me.....blah blah blah blah BLAAAAAH"

Meanwhile, the amaaayzeeeen frenz are getting slammed on the various substances they bought with said money, knowing she'd never notice they "gave" her all her own crap and the only way they can get through Christmas with the squealing is smashed off their faces.



* Autofup tried to make that "cretins." At last, it is learning.

Never change, you beautiful, majestic creature. <3