- Registrado
- 16 de Oct, 2023
What would separate him from a friend? Apart from the obvious?
What do women see in men?
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- Registrado
- 22 de Ene, 2024
The want to build something together, exclusivity and his Hot Ass. The intimate tenderness that you can only share with him and these small everyday gestures. Mind you it's for a woman and not a teen or a BPD adult child addicted to hookup culture.
But a more realist response would be that nobody know and romance just kind of happens (or not).
I think we have enough examples to know that checking the boxes doesn't unlock a partner like a steam achievement.
- Registrado
- 16 de Oct, 2023
But what would cause you to be attracted in the very first place. when you first meet?
- Registrado
- 22 de Ene, 2024
Complete random stuff tbh.
For my parents it was my mom who laughed at a
My husband and I clicked on obscure retro games.
One of my friends married this cool woman who helped him incapacitate a drunk guy during a metal festival.
In a more poetic way, like two people's world had collided, forcing you to see further your own existence for a few seconds? Man you are really ruthless squeezing me like that, usually peopke don't need to think about it, they just do it.
- Registrado
- 16 de Oct, 2023
Sorry if it came across as an interrogation, I've just never seen this type of thing happen
- Registrado
- 22 de Ene, 2024
It's okay I'm not actually annoyed
Dang that's sad to hear
I don't know if it's because of the tension between people of the opposite sex now but the single people around me have difficulty finding someone to share their life with lately (all my examples are from before 2015).
I also wonder if the tendency to want a list of what we want in our partner does not kill the welcome randomness of meeting people, of jumping into the bath without certainty and accepting trial and errors.
Maybe it's the mix of both that makes people reluctant to just interact with each other.
Anyway I wish you meaningful encounters both in love and in friendship, it still exist out there
- Registrado
- 2 de Abr, 2024
This isn't going to reflect well on me, but it is honest:
I knew husband slightly when we were at school. Different schools, but lots of crossover in the social circles. So I knew who he was and I'd see him in the usual crowds at big parties, out at clubs etc. I think we said hi a few times. But he was really pretty shy, and I... didn't talk to boys because of my parents, so that was that.
We go to uni, the same crowds tend to mix together a bit more, but obviously there are less of us and we have more time to socialise. So I go with some folks I know to a party, and the old school crowd are there.
And he had had a final growth spurt in the preceding six months. And was now six three, and most of it legs. And he'd got a haircut. A glorious haircut. The sort of haircut that adorns the front of the NME. I still have old photos of that haircut.
And I guess my brain just went "Yes. That one. Get."
I was sufficiently fortified by Absolut Citron to go forth and seize my destiny, and the rest went quite smoothly from there. (This is a lie. His version of events is that I appeared next to him, advised forcefully that "this is a shite party, wall to wall wankers, take me for food" and this is how we spent the evening arguing over the Celtic defence whilst eating chips in his mother's 3 Series. From such great cringe is love born.)
I knew husband slightly when we were at school. Different schools, but lots of crossover in the social circles. So I knew who he was and I'd see him in the usual crowds at big parties, out at clubs etc. I think we said hi a few times. But he was really pretty shy, and I... didn't talk to boys because of my parents, so that was that.
We go to uni, the same crowds tend to mix together a bit more, but obviously there are less of us and we have more time to socialise. So I go with some folks I know to a party, and the old school crowd are there.
And he had had a final growth spurt in the preceding six months. And was now six three, and most of it legs. And he'd got a haircut. A glorious haircut. The sort of haircut that adorns the front of the NME. I still have old photos of that haircut.
And I guess my brain just went "Yes. That one. Get."
I was sufficiently fortified by Absolut Citron to go forth and seize my destiny, and the rest went quite smoothly from there. (This is a lie. His version of events is that I appeared next to him, advised forcefully that "this is a shite party, wall to wall wankers, take me for food" and this is how we spent the evening arguing over the Celtic defence whilst eating chips in his mother's 3 Series. From such great cringe is love born.)
- Registrado
- 10 de Nov, 2023
Your upper body strength and wingspan. I've tried to hang up this rectangular mirror several times and can't get it to not be crooked for the life of me. RIP all my grand shelf-installation plans.
- Registrado
- 16 de Oct, 2023
That's interesting, because that sounds a bit like my parents. Because my mum always said that she was attracted to him because of his looks (he was tall and athletic).
See I don't think womens' attraction is actually any different from mens' most of the time from what I keep hearing.
- Registrado
- 2 de Abr, 2024
I was seventeen. Everyone prefers their love object to be pretty at seventeen. To be fair, he will always be beautiful to me.
- Registrado
- 25 de Nov, 2018
I always figured woman were like men in that they look for someone who has value they can provide. Whether that be a loving relationship, financial security, and/or the social status that comes with having a mate of a certain level depends on the individual, but there is no reason to expect someone to be interested in you if you have nothing to offer them that would improve their lives
- Registrado
- 22 de Ene, 2024
I agree, we are not so different. Of course beauty is a huge factor, people just have their own taste.
We can say that it is a good starter before the real deal.
What's even more interesting is how we continue to view our partners as beautiful years after they have more or less changed from their initial appearance.
- Registrado
- 21 de Mayo, 2019
I don't know if you've recovered since then, but it seems like you really let this section of the site rot your brain when you first made this thread. The main thing to keep in mind is that anyone who's constantly talking shit online will never be able to practice so much as 1% of what they preach, if that. No one's standards are actually as high as they like to pretend and no one's morals or achievements are as unassailable as they'd have you think. Women in particular get obsessed with crafting and maintaining an online self-image that's often entirely divorced from the reality of how they look and act because living vicariously through an idealized persona distracts them from the things they find disappointing and inadequate about their actual lives.
- Registrado
- 22 de Ene, 2024
People lying on internet? In my Kiwifarms?
- Registrado
- 2 de Abr, 2024
She turned up and she didn't look like her Tinder app picture, did she.
- Registrado
- 21 de Mayo, 2019
I've never used any dating apps. Putting anything on an app just makes it seem a thousand times gayer and more retarded to me than doing it without staring at a phone screen.
- Registrado
- 16 de Oct, 2023
One of the reason I started this thread is because I knew a couple at an old workplace who got married recently.
He was a factory worker she was in the office and much more educated than him and they met there. He was tall and likeable enough but he left the mother of his children to be with her; she is about 7 years younger. He wasn't that good looking but quite 'rough' looking and uneducated like I said but fairly intelligent.
Eventually she left and got a much better job and earned way more than him but they still got married.
To my mind they didn't have much of anything in common but still started seeing each other shortly after meeting. I still don't get why she chose him when she could have had others. I guess why they call these things a mystery.
- Registrado
- 21 de Mayo, 2019
There's no real mystery to something like that. Slumming it with some rough and tumble douche who'd do something as audacious as leaving his wife and kids for her probably got her off as a contrast to the sorts of wimpy cucks she'd have encountered over the course of her university schooling or whatever. It's the sort of banal affair that happens in workplaces all the time. Most people are barely sentient animals even on their best days no matter how many degrees or certifications they have.
- Registrado
- 8 de Mar, 2020
To be fair, take my view with a grain of salt as I am not yet married, my family is just filled with many successful marriages and I try to learn from them.
In my experience as a man, woman look for, in descending order of importance; A firm pre-established set of principles which she largely agrees, Honesty, security, Direction, health and as cringe as it sounds, just a little bit of mystery, even if it’s trivial (this can be where humour comes in)
Everything else like looks (which largely is a function of health) money (function of security) etc is either downstream of these things or just the initial things before real love develops.
The key to all these things to any men reading this is they can all be cultivated and developed in yourself with some hard work and discipline even if you view yourself as conventionally undesirable. Short of major disability it’s never “over”.
People do not fall in love, they learn to love each other. “love at first sight” is usually either a teenage fantasy or just lust.
You find love at a 60th anniversary, when a woman leaves out a class of water for her sleeping husband because she knows he wakes up with a sore throat this time of year or when an old man bends over to pick up something for his wife even when his back hurts, not in “one magical night” or at first sight.
In my experience as a man, woman look for, in descending order of importance; A firm pre-established set of principles which she largely agrees, Honesty, security, Direction, health and as cringe as it sounds, just a little bit of mystery, even if it’s trivial (this can be where humour comes in)
Everything else like looks (which largely is a function of health) money (function of security) etc is either downstream of these things or just the initial things before real love develops.
The key to all these things to any men reading this is they can all be cultivated and developed in yourself with some hard work and discipline even if you view yourself as conventionally undesirable. Short of major disability it’s never “over”.
People do not fall in love, they learn to love each other. “love at first sight” is usually either a teenage fantasy or just lust.
You find love at a 60th anniversary, when a woman leaves out a class of water for her sleeping husband because she knows he wakes up with a sore throat this time of year or when an old man bends over to pick up something for his wife even when his back hurts, not in “one magical night” or at first sight.
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- Registrado
- 12 de Jul, 2015
This is the correct answer.
Women really do only want "one thing": they want an effective partner in their life-goals.
A long-term relationship/marriage is a type of partnership towards this "life" aim (because humans evolved to work better when not solitary). The reason "women" all seem to want different things is that they're different people with different goals. Want to have kids and a huge family life? Find a guy with a steady job who takes out the garbage. Want to live a lux lifestyle? Turn yourself into arm-candy and bag a rich older man. Want to get plowed good? Find a college fuckboi, pretty-but-stupid and leaves when you're done. Etcetera.
The way to "Get Women" as a man is to make yourself as effective a partner as possible towards her goals.This isn't being "controlled" by women (like MGTOW types say) because, in theory, you also know what you want in life and therefore you have the same "life goal". Like if you want to be a dad, then try acting like one, chump. A successful marriage comes from both of you wanting the same life and therefore doing the same life. (And yes, for the astute, that's what everyone wants in a partner, not just straight women.)
Some of this is also why generalized advice, like improving your fitness, counts for so much. Be effective. Dad doesn't need to be a bodybuilder, but he does need to be able to take out the fucking trash; that's why the idea of "dad bod" happened. So if you don't know what you want in life yet, the basic stuff is actually quite good, because being in shape, being smart, being not-an-asshole, being reliable, being stable, all those things are nearly always advantageous to any life-goal. It's also why having some sort of "flaw" like being fat or short or caveman-faced or whatever it is doesn't actually matter much....if he's a super-effective partner.
I think women more then men are raised/socialized to expect marriage (or whatever) and so they have a better grip/more focused aim on the whole "life partner" thing, even if they aren't personally able to articulate it well. (And dudes are kinda aimlessly going "uhh I sure do enjoy tits".)
Caveat #1: If a woman is immature or mentally unwell, then she's not going to have a grip on what her "life goal" even is. But it should be obvious that you shouldn't date immature and unhinged people.
Caveat #2 is that one of the big differences between men and women is the way they communicate, and that's why so much "advice" they give each other about dating doesn't land.
tl;dr @Major OP my brother get off the net and go lift (nicely)