What do we do with failsons and faildaughters? - With a link to a different thread on preventing bad parenting.

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

a package of m67 grenades

SQUIDWARD! Gen Alpha is running the navy!!

 

[AMHOLIO]

Then there's the question of what to do about shit parents lol

You have to make a separate thread: you can either go the prevention route on stopping shit parents or the post punishment route. For now, we're stuck with their aftermath, so what do we do with the fuckups?

 

[Commander Suzdal]

This comes up a lot in the munchie thread (munchies are cows pretend online that they're seriously ill even though they obviously aren't.) Many of them are financially supported by parents (though some get married and start the illness LARP after that).

You're a parent, and you love your kid - and perhaps there's that nagging feeling that something really is wrong. You probably went along with everything for a while because it didn't occur to you that anyone would lie about being sick.

But now your money is directly funding the LARP. Munchies love to brag on Tiktok about needing the most expensive wheelchair, or needing to see some specialist who doesn't take insurance (because the legit specialists are telling them they're not sick in the first place). The LARP is draining you and it's bad for your kid.

If you cut them off, though, what happens? There's a chick named Aster who's an adult, and posts messages of her mom saying "I believe there is something wrong with you and I want you to get help, but it isn't the physical illness you claim to have - what you need is therapy." Aster lives in squalor - she has a perpetual bedbug problem - and her mom often helps keep a roof over her head.

Another chick, Paige, started as an anorexic before deciding to play sick (she was so committed to the bit that she starved herself to death). Someone discovered posts from her mom during the anorexia phase, where she explained all the things the family had done - it was taking a terrible toll on her and her family, but she was afraid that if her daughter didn't get help, she would die. And if you're not a parent, you don't know how horrifying a thought that is.

When is "help" help - and when does it turn into enabling? What kind of help effective - and what's a waste of time? Does anyone actually know?

I don't have answers for you, only questions.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Maybe they get blowed up?

(that's the goal)

Where are you from and how old are you?

I'm in the USA and I'm asking about middle class and above failures. Your situation genuinely sucks and isn't what I'm asking, since I'm looking for people who had most things going for them in life... then shit the bed once they become a legal age adult through their own poor judgement, not in an environment hostile to them. Not the pain you're living through.

 

[MIU]

If the kid is a genuine non-functional retard who got born with down syndrome or some other fundamental defect that impairs him to the point that he would not even be able to hold a simple job, then the strat is just to have lots of kids. Then when I kick the bucket he got a bunch of siblings who would take care of him without having to be at the expense of the taxpayer (And obviously raise those siblings to not be little shits who would see their flesh and blood as a burden).

If you just mean he turned out to be a libshit as an adult who cant keep a job and fucked everything up idubbbz-style, then i dunno give him a beating with the last of my old man strength by that point. My goal as a parent would be that he wouldn't get to that point in the first place.

 

[Beelzebub's Lawyer]

Some people weren't meant to parent.

Oh, definitely.
You need to think carefully before having kids.

But some parents true and honest tried as much as they could, but their child developed free will and decided to be a lazy asshole on their own.

I think that work ethic is definitely influenced by parents.

Maybe the kid got into a bad friend group when 16-18 and the parent tried to get them out, but the kid insisted on seeing their friends.

Then you get harsh and, for example, take away their shit that you bought them.
Once all the things that they take for granted are gone, they might reconsider.
Yes, you will have to deal with tantrums but that's part of being a parent.

Maybe the kid got into drugs at 19 purely by their own choices and not because their parents encouraged it

That usually happens when parents detach themselves from their children's lives.
"Oh, he's a teenager, I won't bother him anymore."

and dropped out of college because dude lmao drugs.

Maybe do something like sign a contract with your kid (he's a legal adult after all) that he has to pay back the tuition if he drops out.
People often get motivated when their wallets get threatened.

Maybe the child is autistic and got a stupid idea in their head they will never let go of, so nothing will keep them from doing shit.

That's rare but even that can be guided, you can push your autist kid towards something productive.
Autists excel at some things that normies don't.

Maybe your kid just has a genetic temperment diceroll that either ends up as a personality disorder or as a complete asshole by choice.

I think that this is largely a result of what the kid experiences in the formative years.
Those first 7-8 years before the brain splits into 2 halves, those are essential when it comes to shaping the personality of the child.
Most parents I've met, they often just put the kid in front of some screen and leave it at that, that's not how you do it.

but can you say every mistake was due to the parent failing to raise them properly?

Not all but a lot of them.

This is specifically for children who had decent enough parents

Decent enough is highly subjective.

You can be spoiled and then realize you need to straighten the fuck up

Spoiling your kids is not decent enough parenting.

You can be whiny and self pitying,

That is learned behavior.

Your parents influenced a ton in your life, but people develop free will

Well ACKSHULLY, whether we have free will or not is debated among neuroscientists to this day.
But even if we do, life I've mentioned before, the formative years of a person's life are really important and what the kid sees, the kid absorbs and makes it part of who they are as a person.
Most parents don't even have deeper conversations with their kids and by the time the kids are teenagers, the parents don't know them in the slightest.
Providing is not enough.

 

[AMHOLIO]

they might reconsider.

The keyword. You should look at Dave Muscato's thread.

That usually happens when parents detach themselves from their children's lives.
"Oh, he's a teenager, I won't bother him anymore."

It's more likely that they move to a college dorm out of state and out of their parents' reach, sadly.

Spoiling your kids is not decent enough parenting.

No, but it is an example of you could have fuck up parents and choose not to fuck up, which is more of my point on that.

whether we have free will or not is debated among neuroscientists to this day.

This close to punching you in the face even though I know you prefaced that as obnoxious. Don't trigger me like that bro.

Providing is not enough.

I think you can have a great topic in "How do we prevent shit parenting?" in actual deep thoughts. Punishing the parents after they put out a shit kid is hard, and it doesn't keep the shit kid from being a shit adult and making more dump ass kids.

I see your points but my main question is still this: what do the failures do now? How do we deal with the leftover kids? We can punish the parents, but what do we do with the failures left?

 

[Beelzebub's Lawyer]

I see your points but my main question is still this: what do the failures do now?

I've mentioned cutting off any financial assistance.
You can't really be lazy when you have to get a job and pay your bills.
Set up goals for the kid and offer them assistance when those goals have been reached.

 

[NoCockatrice]

cutting off any financial assistance.

I think it's the best advice in the thread so far

 

[AMHOLIO]

I've mentioned cutting off any financial assistance.
You can't really be lazy when you have to get a job and pay your bills.
Set up goals for the kid and offer them assistance when those goals have been reached.

I think it's the best advice in the thread so far

I agree. The only problem is that these people have become ebeggers, so we really have to figure out what to do with those. Their existence is miserable and hilarious, at least.

Also, discuss bad parenting here.

Tema 'How to prevent bad parenting and encourage good parenting?'

9 de Jun, 2026

What's the best way to make people better parents, and what's the best way to keep people who shouldn't parent away from parenting?


A few points:
It's hard to make state mandated programs since everyone has different versions of parenting, and not everyone wants to be told what to do.

Religion is a common answer, but there comes times where people take all their Bible teachings and use it to become nasty (see: the Duggars, Quiverful movement, and other notable bad people using religious justifications for bad behavior). If you can figure out a way within your religion or denomination...

• AMHOLIO
• Respuestas: 13
• Foro: Deep Thoughts

Reacciones: x 1

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

You clearly fucked up somewhere if your child is "a pants on head pretentious retard, irresponsible retard, apathetic lazy retard, or other flavor of choosing not to be a functional human being", you're just not willing to admit it.

I used to think like this too until someone pointed out the most obvious thing to me, which is families where one kid is a dumpster fire and the rest are normal. Super common, and really speaks to the fact that parenting can only go so far. At some point a kid starts making their own choices on who to associate with and what matters to them, and things can go off the rails from that point on pretty easily, and due to nothing the parents did wrong.

The reality is, some kids are turds. The only real solution is to have more kids, with the understanding that one or more of them may turn out to be an irredeemable asshole, but that you can make up for it in numbers. Our ancestors have known this for thousands of years - read the bible, or any other historical accounts where this is discussed ad nauseam. Somehow we've only forgotten this lesson very recently.

 

[Xev]

I doubt the military would want a retarded sperg. To the tard mines it is.

 

[AMHOLIO]

which is families where one kid is a dumpster fire and the rest are normal.

God, Dave Muscato is the epitome of this. You have a son beloved by his community with a wife and children, who loves you and does his best as a police officer... and you have Dave who keeps trying to sue his parents for more money while slandering you. What the fuck do we do with these retards?

 

[Drip Torch]

What to do? Give them a knife, a compass and a ball of string, then drop them off in a remote wooded location.
If they make it out alive, they can rejoin society.

 

[FloydsFeedandSeed]

Don't let them sit at home and do nothing really. Guide your kids, but don't force them in a direction in life unless they don't take the hint.
I know a guy I used to go to school with. Didn't know what he wanted to do after high school. I catch up online with him (sometimes) and have seen him a few years later on the bus in the middle of the day (I had to finish studying early that day for a reason) where he was travelling around to nowhere important in particular, but I think it was back to his parents. This guy is pushing 30, is still unemployed and living at home I assume. He has no money saved and spends his day playing some games and watching Youtube videos.
Even if he just got something as basic like a Mcjob and lived at home, at least he'd have a decent chunk of money saved up or something by this age for him to do something in life with like buying a home, or investing or just even holding it as a financial cushion, but this guy is rapidly approaching 30 and has absolutely nothing.

When I think of him, the lyrics in the Pink Floyd song Time comes to mind:

You are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun

 

[Fishnumm]

if i had a kid id punish them by making them watch baby cartoons and because i'll raise my kids right makin' em watch good shit like the sopranos they'll be all like "no dad i dont wanna watch faggot ass bluey i wanna watch the sopranos" and then id be a proud father

 

[meager]

I agree. The only problem is that these people have become ebeggers, so we really have to figure out what to do with those. Their existence is miserable and hilarious, at least.

Also, discuss bad parenting here.

Tema 'How to prevent bad parenting and encourage good parenting?'

9 de Jun, 2026

What's the best way to make people better parents, and what's the best way to keep people who shouldn't parent away from parenting?


A few points:
It's hard to make state mandated programs since everyone has different versions of parenting, and not everyone wants to be told what to do.

Religion is a common answer, but there comes times where people take all their Bible teachings and use it to become nasty (see: the Duggars, Quiverful movement, and other notable bad people using religious justifications for bad behavior). If you can figure out a way within your religion or denomination...

• AMHOLIO
• Respuestas: 13
• Foro: Deep Thoughts

Reacciones: x 1

If your child absolutely refuses to be a functioning member of society despite your best efforts, the only solution is to give up on them. If you couldn’t save them as a kid, you sure as hell can’t save them as an adult.

All you can do is kick them out and not financially support them. I know it’s difficult to do, as it could cause the child to be homeless or otherwise in a fucked up situation, but it’s the only option that won’t let them parasitically leech off you until you die.

Focus your time, money, and energy on yourself and the rest of your family. Remember that if their life goes to shit, it’s entirely on them.

(However, I would suggest making sure you actually did everything you could before resorting to such extreme measures. Sometimes there is something you failed to do that you never thought of. This is more for if you’ve literally tried everything and they’re still a fuckup.)