Weird Bible Stories

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People 3000 years ago had somewhat different views on sexuality, violence, and speaking plainly thmiraclesn society does. News at 11.
The Bible was not written 3000 years ago. Even if it were, the notions that violence is bad and that a husband should love his single wife as she loves him have not changed. But the Bible doesn't talk about self-evident things. It talks about miracles and paradoxes.
 
Matthew 23:37 KJV:

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!"

May be better suited for the other thread, but where exactly is it stated in the Bible that Jerusalem killed prophets? If Jesus was perfect, as in he's not a liar and quotes scripture often in his ministry, where did this come from? Do we know which of the OT prophets have been killed by the Jews?
 
Matthew 23:37 KJV:

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!"

May be better suited for the other thread, but where exactly is it stated in the Bible that Jerusalem killed prophets? If Jesus was perfect, as in he's not a liar and quotes scripture often in his ministry, where did this come from? Do we know which of the OT prophets have been killed by the Jews?

We're in the new testament now and it would follow that the gospel writer laments the Jews having rejected Jesus as the Messiah. Which prophets were stoned and when is kind of secondary to the main point that Jesus is now the main guy and he wasn't well treated in Jerusalem.
 
We're in the new testament now and it would follow that the gospel writer laments the Jews having rejected Jesus as the Messiah.
Except that verse is Jesus himself speaking and he's lamenting Jerusalem's iniquity. I am asking for an actual list of OT prophets whom have been killed by the Jews, so do we or do we not know which of them were killed by their people, or do we have to assume every prophet who up-and-vanishes from the canon were killed by the Jews?
 
Except that verse is Jesus himself speaking and he's lamenting Jerusalem's iniquity. I am asking for an actual list of OT prophets whom have been killed by the Jews, so do we or do we not know which of them were killed by their people, or do we have to assume every prophet who up-and-vanishes from the canon were killed by the Jews?
Don't think about that. Just read the Psalms and Proverbs.
 
The Bible was not written 3000 years ago. Even if it were, the notions that violence is bad and that a husband should love his single wife as she loves him have not changed. But the Bible doesn't talk about self-evident things. It talks about miracles and paradoxes.

Many of the old testament books started to be set down around the babylonian captivity around 500-600 bc but were composed at least in parts on stuff that was much older.

There is both consistency with modern values and differences. Abraham slept with more than one woman. It was acceptable to kill people for things that would seem trivial today, and a woman marrying her rapist was seen as a win for the woman. This baffles people for some reason and is sometimes used as an argument against religion. I'm not really sure why since none of the moral differences present really call into question the core teachings. But it should be obvious there was a much different time and mindset combined with the massive shift in mentality with the cult of altruism popularized by christianity and developed further across the ages by successor torchbearers of the cult like secular liberalism, communism, and social justice movements that seperates morality in biblical times with that in modern times.

Very basic tenets of morality like violence for no reason is wrong and freedom is a good thing have persisted across the ages. But people on all sides of the spectrum from christians to atheists don't realize or refuse to recognize what a malleable thing even some of the most seemingly fundamental moral values we hold are.
 
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were composed at least in parts on stuff that was much older
Like all religions, Judaism formed from something earlier. OT has stories from Enuma Elish and Egyptian mythology among many other traditions.
Abraham slept with more than one woman.
Abraham is an archetype of a powerful man in charge of a nation. Those guys tend to have many lovers. But the norm would still hold for everyone else.
woman marrying her rapist was seen as a win for the woman
It's pragmatic because that way she would still be in a child-rearing marriage of some sort, producing more sons of Israel rather than being a shunned spinster. Remember that the underlying logic of it all is to carry forward the line of God's chosen people. A woman's worth in that context is getting pregnant and giving birth, which she cannot well do on her own. It doesn't negate the notion that rape is bad, but I think it's a bit more realistic about the fact that...sexual encounters that people regret happen and there should be a way to carry on from there.
This baffles people for some reason and is sometimes used as an argument against religion
It baffles stupid people who think feminism and western liberalism is the default world-view everyone would hold if only we would bomb them into democracy.
I'm not really sure why since none of the moral differences present really call into question the core teachings
They don't, I agree.
But people on all sides of the spectrum from christians to atheists don't realize or refuse to recognize what a malleable thing even some of the most seemingly fundamental moral values we hold are
More precisely, most people as well as most psychopaths know the difference between right and wrong. They just sometimes choose not to do the right thing, because they are lazy or they think that would be easier.
 
Except that verse is Jesus himself speaking and he's lamenting Jerusalem's iniquity. I am asking for an actual list of OT prophets whom have been killed by the Jews, so do we or do we not know which of them were killed by their people, or do we have to assume every prophet who up-and-vanishes from the canon were killed by the Jews?
Well, the evangelist says that Jesus said that. But we know that very little of what's attributed to Jesus is what he likely said. It would be interesting to look up what the Jesus Seminar reckons about that verse.
 
Except that verse is Jesus himself speaking and he's lamenting Jerusalem's iniquity. I am asking for an actual list of OT prophets whom have been killed by the Jews, so do we or do we not know which of them were killed by their people, or do we have to assume every prophet who up-and-vanishes from the canon were killed by the Jews?
I think John the Baptist was killed by King Herod. Not an exact match, since it wasn't in Jerusalem, but Jesus could be using the city as a metaphor for all Jews. King Herod also tried to kill Jesus when he was a baby. These words could also be Jesus foreshadowing his own betrayal and crucifixion as a prophet. But I wouldn't doubt that Jerusalem killed prophets, considering what they did to Jesus for challenging the established Jewish clergy.
 
This baffles people for some reason
I think the reason it baffles a lot of people is that the bible is often presented as being ineffable and all of its teachings perfect and universal (especially in the US where sola scriptura is a big deal), so when something bizarre like "thou shalt not eat shellfish" pops up it creates some a bit of cognitive dissonance. The oddity of the OT is so severe there are entire sects of protestants who reject anything that isn't NT.
 
I'm not really sure why since none of the moral differences present really call into question the core teachings.
Yes, that is why I made a thread to poke fun at weird stuff in the Bible. At the end of the day, it doesn't really affect the core principles of the religion. There is a lot of good in the Bible, but some of it is very strange and/or funny.
For example:
9 Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. 10 Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “He’s alive!” 11 Then he went upstairs again and broke bread and ate. After talking until daylight, he left. 12 The people took the young man home alive and were greatly comforted.
 
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Matthew 23:37 KJV:

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!"

May be better suited for the other thread, but where exactly is it stated in the Bible that Jerusalem killed prophets? If Jesus was perfect, as in he's not a liar and quotes scripture often in his ministry, where did this come from? Do we know which of the OT prophets have been killed by the Jews?
Second Chronicles 24:20-22, Zachariah was stoned to death by the king (Jesus references this a fee verses prior). This is as far as I know the only Biblical account of an OT prophet being stoned to death. There are extrabiblical accounts that claim other prophets were killed in various ways (Isaiah being sawn in half by King Manasseh, king of Judah).
The greater context of the conversation, starting in verse 29, is that Jesus is calling out the pharisees for being hypocrites because they would say "if the prophets were here, we would not stone them." Which Jesus told them that they were wrong because they were about to do exactly that to the "new prophets" who would be Christians.
 
Mark 11: 12-25 (Jesus kills a tree)

12 And on the morrow, when they were come from Bethany, he was hungry:

13 And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

14 And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

*Jesus goes and gets pissed at people selling stuff in the temple*

20 And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots.

21 And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold, the fig tree which thou cursedst is withered away.

22 And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.
 
That part with Ham taking Noah's clothes off when he was drunk was weird.
 
You're not yourself when you're hungry
25So there was a great famine in Samaria. Indeed, they besieged the city so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels of silver, and a quarter cab of dove’s dung sold for five shekels of silver.

26As the king of Israel was passing by on the wall, a woman cried out to him, “Help me, my lord the king!”

27He answered, “If the LORD does not help you, where can I find help for you? From the threshing floor or the winepress?” 28Then the king asked her, “What is the matter?”

And she answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son, that we may eat him, and tomorrow we will eat my son.’ 29So we boiled my son and ate him, and the next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son, that we may eat him.’ But she had hidden her son.”
 
I dimly remember more than one passage describing the appearance of heavenly beings, saying they had "feet like polished bronze". In any other circumstance I'd call that the author's poorly-disguised fetish but this isn't the Quran we're talking about.
No that was it; it was Revelation 1:15. Jesus is described as having feet like polished bronze.
 
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I presume they are referring to this:
20 Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. 21 When he drank some of its wine,he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside.23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.

24 When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him,25 he said,

“Cursed be Canaan!
The lowest of slaves
will he be to his brothers.”
26 He also said,

“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Shem!
May Canaan be the slave of Shem.
27 May God extend Japheth’s territory;
may Japheth live in the tents of Shem,
and may Canaan be the slave of Japheth.”
28 After the flood Noah lived 350 years. 29 Noah lived a total of 950 years, and then he died.
From what I can tell, it's just that one of his sons saw him naked while drunk. The other two just covered him up without looking.
There is good reason to think “saw him naked” is a Mesopotamian euphemism for “raped him.”

But there is also a counterargument that there really was a massive nudity taboo in cultures of that region, too.
 
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