- Registrado
- 11 de Jun, 2014
I wish he'd man up just once and admit he lied. Just a "whelp you got me I still have testicles" Or a "It has been shitty of me to lie about my dad raping me for so long." It'll hever happen though.
💬 Off-Topic Things we wish would happen to Phil
- Iniciador del tema autisticdragonkin
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- Registrado
- 28 de Oct, 2014
Nothing.
What the fuck could we or anyone else ever do to him that would rival what he does to himself?
It's the Chris Paradox: No troll will ever troll him like he does.
What the fuck could we or anyone else ever do to him that would rival what he does to himself?
It's the Chris Paradox: No troll will ever troll him like he does.
- Registrado
- 25 de Feb, 2015
He would like being spitroasted by bears and he doesn't deserve that pleasure.
- Registrado
- 18 de Sep, 2014
I'd personally like to introduce him to Stefonknee to give him a best possible outcome of his future if he keeps up his current persona.
More than that though I'd love him to somehow get a passport and travel for a bit mostly around south america just so he can experience the reality of looking and dressing how he does in latino culture, it would be the rude awakening he need's.
More than that though I'd love him to somehow get a passport and travel for a bit mostly around south america just so he can experience the reality of looking and dressing how he does in latino culture, it would be the rude awakening he need's.
- Registrado
- 28 de Dic, 2014
I hope he goes and gets an illegal knife like he's planning on, then tards out and pulls it on someone delusionally thinking they're a Kiwi or something.
But the guy is an MMA badass and takes the knife and then kicks his ass and sends him to the hospital, then calls the cops on him.
Then he gets arrested in the hospital and dragged off to the jail hospital and prosecuted for the illegal knife.
But the guy is an MMA badass and takes the knife and then kicks his ass and sends him to the hospital, then calls the cops on him.
Then he gets arrested in the hospital and dragged off to the jail hospital and prosecuted for the illegal knife.
- Registrado
- 27 de Sep, 2014
It'd be interesting to see him get his shit together and become a functional person.
But since that'll never happen, I'll say it'd also be interesting to see him actually get his balls cut off. Watching him jump through hoops trying to rationalize why he's still miserable (and unable to ride a bike) despite getting his long-desired neutering while also becoming fatter and fatter would be... amusing.
But since that'll never happen, I'll say it'd also be interesting to see him actually get his balls cut off. Watching him jump through hoops trying to rationalize why he's still miserable (and unable to ride a bike) despite getting his long-desired neutering while also becoming fatter and fatter would be... amusing.
- Registrado
- 25 de Feb, 2015
And then he gets raped and murdered in prison
- Registrado
- 30 de Ago, 2014
I would like for him to find Jesus.
Either that, or become a hammerskin or some other kind of racist skinhead.
It would also be funny if he converted to orthodox Judaism, but was then outed for shitting on a holocaust memorial.
Also, if he became a rapper.
Either that, or become a hammerskin or some other kind of racist skinhead.
It would also be funny if he converted to orthodox Judaism, but was then outed for shitting on a holocaust memorial.
Also, if he became a rapper.
- Registrado
- 4 de Feb, 2014
Probably because his foot slid down that mutant's face during the stomping.
- Registrado
- 30 de Ago, 2014
I'd like to see Phil move to Mexico or Puerto Rico.
- Registrado
- 16 de Nov, 2014
It'd be funny if some kids shot him with pellet guns while riding their bikes.
Edit: If some kids also threw bottles at Phil, I could die happy.
Edit: If some kids also threw bottles at Phil, I could die happy.
Última edición:
- Registrado
- 28 de Dic, 2014
Especially if they shot him in the balls.
- Registrado
- 17 de Mar, 2016
Giving him a huge sum of money could be funny. Just to watch and see how badly he'd squander it.
Awww, but I want to sperg and pick apart his imaginary army!
- Registrado
- 8 de Jul, 2014
He has actually detailed the Australatinian military to a surprising extent, right down to the armaments they use.
I'm hoping that @Ravenor will one day write a detailed post on the Australatinian military as he's proven very resourceful in his past efforts to explain Australatina for the common viewer.
- Registrado
- 17 de Sep, 2014
Plot twist: he gets everything he ever wanted.
Someone of consequence actually believes him about Angelo. He gets a front page story written for some leftist news group about how his rape tragically turned him into a homeless drifter with mental illness. Suddenly Phil has tens of thousands of asspatters and is a national sensation, while Angelo is targeted for violence. Brave Kiwis operatives, led by strike force commander Treblinkachu, spirit Angelo away into the night to prevent lynching.
Phil begins to attract fans and supporters, as he is now playing up the sexual assault angle like a motherfucker. Some nice people give him a million dollars out of sympathy. In a followup interview, he promises to use the money to put pressure on politicians to eradicate rape and sexual assault in Portland or wherever the fuck his homeless ass is parked. Phil is one step down from a national hero now. He is reveling in the attention. More sinisterly, he tries to gather a personal army to eradicate Kiwi Farms.
However, Phil is Phil, and that never changes. His sordid history is soon leaked to major news sources by Kiwi operatives and spies, who have gathered interviews with people like Angelo, Phil's mother, his exes, and so on. When he arranges a press conference to deny everything, Phil inadvertently reveals, via his physical presence, that he has spent his entire one million dollar budget on whole layers and terraces of tattoos commemorating the lie he told about his father, as well as various anti-kiwi epithets. When called out on this, Phil chooses to respond by mooning the reporters, calling them racist and various other SJW-isms, and leaving.
Following this is a slew of suicide threats on Facebook, none of which are carried out. While this is going on, a male Phil groupie comes forward to admit that Phil tried to sexually assault him with a dildo sculpted out of cheese earlier in the saga; he says that Phil became very distressed when the groupie would not put the cheese dildo in Phil's ass and screamed loudly until he got him Jack-in-the-box. Several other groupies come forward and admit to similar incidents, with the support and guaranteed security of Kiwi Farms' Protection Squad watching their backs for their true believer comrades. It's a massive blow to Phil's status as a rape guru.
The final nail in the coffin is the leaking of facebook messages sent by Phil to another party complaining about the situation, and gloating that at least everyone believes him about Angelo. Smug and arrogant, Phil admits outright that this claim is a fabrication in his message, but that he is still on top of the world so it doesn't matter. The disturbed recipient promptly sends it to Kiwi Farms, then feels guilty about it and tells Phil. Phil makes a hysterical video screaming at people to not believe the lies Kiwi Farms made up about his rape story... but he posts it before the screenshots are ever made public on Kiwi Farms or sent to news media, thus proving that he did not, as he claimed, see it on the news. Good job Phil.
After this, he is again ostracized completely from normal civilization, as he should be. Being allowed this small taste of the good life, only to have it ripped away again, has left Phil an even more miserable sack of potatoes than before. And yet, if he had done it over again, he wouldn't have done anything different except for yelling louder at Kiwi Farms.
The damage is magnificent. Every last cent of the million dollars he received in sympathy has been blown out his ass, leaving him an even more hideous mess of hundreds, even thousands, of child-like tattoos upon child-like tattoos. His number of Facebook asspatters rapidly declines, until even the hardcore "always believe" crowd have ceased to listen to his constant squawking about Kiwi "lies" and his innocence.
Phil is alone once again, with only Kiwi Farms for company.
As it should be.
Someone of consequence actually believes him about Angelo. He gets a front page story written for some leftist news group about how his rape tragically turned him into a homeless drifter with mental illness. Suddenly Phil has tens of thousands of asspatters and is a national sensation, while Angelo is targeted for violence. Brave Kiwis operatives, led by strike force commander Treblinkachu, spirit Angelo away into the night to prevent lynching.
Phil begins to attract fans and supporters, as he is now playing up the sexual assault angle like a motherfucker. Some nice people give him a million dollars out of sympathy. In a followup interview, he promises to use the money to put pressure on politicians to eradicate rape and sexual assault in Portland or wherever the fuck his homeless ass is parked. Phil is one step down from a national hero now. He is reveling in the attention. More sinisterly, he tries to gather a personal army to eradicate Kiwi Farms.
However, Phil is Phil, and that never changes. His sordid history is soon leaked to major news sources by Kiwi operatives and spies, who have gathered interviews with people like Angelo, Phil's mother, his exes, and so on. When he arranges a press conference to deny everything, Phil inadvertently reveals, via his physical presence, that he has spent his entire one million dollar budget on whole layers and terraces of tattoos commemorating the lie he told about his father, as well as various anti-kiwi epithets. When called out on this, Phil chooses to respond by mooning the reporters, calling them racist and various other SJW-isms, and leaving.
Following this is a slew of suicide threats on Facebook, none of which are carried out. While this is going on, a male Phil groupie comes forward to admit that Phil tried to sexually assault him with a dildo sculpted out of cheese earlier in the saga; he says that Phil became very distressed when the groupie would not put the cheese dildo in Phil's ass and screamed loudly until he got him Jack-in-the-box. Several other groupies come forward and admit to similar incidents, with the support and guaranteed security of Kiwi Farms' Protection Squad watching their backs for their true believer comrades. It's a massive blow to Phil's status as a rape guru.
The final nail in the coffin is the leaking of facebook messages sent by Phil to another party complaining about the situation, and gloating that at least everyone believes him about Angelo. Smug and arrogant, Phil admits outright that this claim is a fabrication in his message, but that he is still on top of the world so it doesn't matter. The disturbed recipient promptly sends it to Kiwi Farms, then feels guilty about it and tells Phil. Phil makes a hysterical video screaming at people to not believe the lies Kiwi Farms made up about his rape story... but he posts it before the screenshots are ever made public on Kiwi Farms or sent to news media, thus proving that he did not, as he claimed, see it on the news. Good job Phil.
After this, he is again ostracized completely from normal civilization, as he should be. Being allowed this small taste of the good life, only to have it ripped away again, has left Phil an even more miserable sack of potatoes than before. And yet, if he had done it over again, he wouldn't have done anything different except for yelling louder at Kiwi Farms.
The damage is magnificent. Every last cent of the million dollars he received in sympathy has been blown out his ass, leaving him an even more hideous mess of hundreds, even thousands, of child-like tattoos upon child-like tattoos. His number of Facebook asspatters rapidly declines, until even the hardcore "always believe" crowd have ceased to listen to his constant squawking about Kiwi "lies" and his innocence.
Phil is alone once again, with only Kiwi Farms for company.
As it should be.
Última edición:
- Registrado
- 18 de Sep, 2014
No problem, but it's autistic as you'd think more so as he really goes into detail about rank badges and kit bashed Soviet and Israeli names and ranks.
- Registrado
- 1 de Dic, 2013
Except even Stephonknee managed to marry, reproduce, and find people to have sex with him.
I wish Phil would stop hurting and turning on the people that did stuff for him IRL.