The shitty advice thread

[Lame Entropy]

How do I ask my black friends for an n word pass?

Don't ask, kick their ass to establish dominance. The pass is naturally transferred.

 

[DrJonesHat]

My neighbor refused to stop practicing his pan pipes at 3am. What is the most fitting method of execution for him?

 

[PT 522]

I fucked a dude up the ass to establish dominance but he enjoyed it and now he thinks I’m gay. What do?

Fuck him up the ass again to show him that you're a real alpha male and not a HOMO

My neighbor refused to stop practicing his pan pipes at 3am. What is the most fitting method of execution for him?

Tell him his technique is fine, but his playing lacks emotion.

 

[CancerGoat]

How do i get someone to love me?

 

[PT 522]

How do i get someone to love me?

Make a sign with all your requirements for a partner and loiter in public spaces. Your quest should be over in 2-3 days.

 

[Sammy]

How do I become motivated to exercise more and better myself?

 

[Bonedome]

How do I become motivated to exercise more and better myself?

Get fat enough to get on my 600 pound life.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I fucked a dude up the ass to establish dominance but he enjoyed it and now he thinks I’m gay. What do?

You have to show him that you’re not some sissy little faggot. What you need to do is work out and get really ripped, then go around shirtless to show that you’re not a man to be messed with. You may wish to oil yourself up to show your new physique to its best advantage.

As for the rest of the look, what’s scarier than bikers? Pair your shirtless torso with leather pants, leather vest (worn open) and leather peaked cap. If there’s time, grow a manly mustache.

An easy way to augment your tough-guy image is to put out rumors that you have a badass past - that you used to be a cowboy, a sailor or a convict. You may wish to add props to the ensemble to make the tale more convincing, e.g. a whip for a cowboy or chains for a convict.

Then you have to go into a gay bar so that all the local swishes see you and it becomes known among them that you’re butch as hell and not some kind of mincing Nancy. That’ll show those homos who’s queer.

 

[Ali della Fenice]

How do I become motivated to exercise more and better myself?

try to look at yourself in a mirror as many times as possible in a day and the disgust you'll feel, will give you the motivation you need.

 

[PT 522]

How do I break up with my gf

 

[DrJonesHat]

How do I break up with my gf

Start screaming "YOU ARE TOUCHED BY SATAN" every time she comes near you. Curl up in a ball. She'll break up with you, saving you the guilt.

Should I take up the xylophone or become a serial arsonist?

 

[Recoil]

How do i get someone to love me?

Smother them with attention and buy things for them, they'll have no choice.

How do I break up with my gf

Nobody wants to date an alcoholic. Bottoms up!

 

[ProgKing of the North]

How do I break up with my gf

fuck her dad

 

[PT 522]

Should I take up the xylophone or become a serial arsonist?

Both. Burn xylophones.

 

[エリス]

How do I become motivated to exercise more and better myself?

Just do it.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Can someone help me with my maths!?

 

[TenMilesWide]

I fucked a dude up the ass to establish dominance but he enjoyed it and now he thinks I’m gay. What do?

Just humor him and be gay for a while.

How do I can I most efficiently drink myself to death?

depending on where you live you can get a gallon of methanol for $10 or less

 

[Recoil]

How do I can I most efficiently drink myself to death?

Take 1000 mgs of tylenol every time you go on a bender.

 

[PT 522]

Can someone help me with my maths!?

Yeah. Step one is to call it "math"

 

[PT 522]

Guys, I think I might be nonbinary. How do I come out to my friends/family