The Kiwi Farms House - Stole this idea from an r9k thread.

[Alpacawitz]

ok, i don't mind walking our dogs.

@J A N D E K , @Samoyed , c'mon, boys, it's time for walkies

Yeah, walkies inside the furnace.

 

[Spl00gies]

Did anyone catch that kite I threw? It's important.

 

[Cedric_Eff]

Will turn my bedroom into a replica of the interiors from either Salyut 7 or the Mir Core Module.

 

[Revo]

I want to listen some great music and read a book in silence. Do not disturb.If it's something urgent or someone needs smth important, i will help.

 

[roob]

i can clean! cleaning is fun for me!

 

[MAPK phosphatase]

I call the spot next to the modem. I promise to be a benevolent God and keep the wifi and switches that branch internet into to other rooms running properly. I accept you not bothering me as tribute. Send support tickets to the internal network server if something isn't working properly. Emergencies you can call me.

 

[SofondaCox]

Buncha nincompoops with no plan.

We take, and hold, Mogadishu. The retarded antics of the natives will provide us with eternal entertainment. We take the best of the bunch for cleaning, PayPerView fights to the death, delivery service, and a child army to defend the air conditioning system in our shelled palace.

Beautiful, chaotic, no cops. It's fuckin shangrila. You're welcome. ♡

 

[L50LasPak]

Are there any rooms with taps that dispense 75% alcohol? If so, I want that room and I'm probably set.

Legit curious, what the hell is this building?

Btw that absolutely dystopic looking structure on page 2ish is based on a Panopticon, I believe.

Panopticon - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The idea is that the guards can be stationed in the center and therefore always have a visual on the cells as long as there are enough of them. I know a few countries have built these nightmares but I've never seen one that big before. Look at the size of that thing!

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

has anyone seen my rug? this is the last picture I have of it.

for that matter, has anyone seen my cat? I know one of you niggers took him

 

[Drive-by punster]

I'll do the cooking. Just do me a little favor and STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN!

 

[Bunny Tracks]

Same. Take one step into it, and you're getting hot oil thrown on you.

 

[MAPK phosphatase]

Are there any rooms with taps that dispense 75% alcohol? If so, I want that room and I'm probably set.

Anything over 50% abv is a firehazard. Could you settle for regular shipments of cheap vodka rather than having a pressurized flammable liquid distributed throughout the walls of the building?
Side note, you doin' alright there bud?

 

[The Sauce Boss]

Permission to sleep in the yard with a rifle and shoot and glare menacingly at any squirrel within a 50 meter radius of the house?

 

[MechanicusAdmin]

Do you guys like organ music and hymns? There might be some organ music and hymns later maybe.

 

[BarberFerdinand]

What would a ResetEra house be like, I wonder...

 

[The Last Stand]

I call @NOT Sword Fighter Super as a roomie. He's less likely to kill me.

Although the "What's up my nigga!" remarks are tiring.

And why is the building segregated? Off to a good start.
Leave room for the Hiltons.

 

[L50LasPak]

Anything over 50% abv is a firehazard. Could you settle for regular shipments of cheap vodka rather than having a pressurized flammable liquid distributed throughout the walls of the building?
Side note, you doin' alright there bud?

That rumor is bullshit, you need like 80% to light a shot on fire.

...but yeah I'll take the cheap vodka if its all ya got.

(btw this thread has convinced me to finally sit down and watch Superjail!)

 

[Bunny Tracks]

Yo, does this place come with utilities included? Also, is Null our landlord?

 

[The Sauce Boss]

Yo, does this place come with utilities included? Also, is Null our landlord?

If Null is the landlord, I'll be taking the house across the street just so I can snipe the fucker and get that glow-in-the-dark blood money. Sorry, big chief, but I gotta make a buck somehow.

Utilities? HA! In the current year?

 

[Pitere pit]

I feed the cats and all of you with my bomb ass meals. Also I would keep the niggers, troons and deviants out with my hunting shotgun. Every morning I will put on your doors the heads of invaders alongside some warm coffee and a nice, tasty, cold Gazpacho. I promise it won't be spiked with drugs because you are nice, but, if I find out someone let the Jehovah Witnesses come into our building, I will put heavy drugs on their coffee and Gazpacho.
Also Sundays are paella or potato omelette days. Better that you like this omelettes with onion and the egg not so cooked.
Futhermore, whoever someone touch and fuck other one dakimakura, I will put them into the Garrote Vil, I hope they like some fine neck massage, so good that it will break it.
And of course, pls shower everyday.