The Kiwi Farms House - Stole this idea from an r9k thread.

Ok, so I'm moving in to whatever room is closet to the main power line. Don't ask about the chemicals, the vaguely human shaped stains, the chanting, the pulsating and cursing exterior door, where all the Cray X-MP's running Temple OS came from or why they're arranged in those exceedingly specific patterns, the suspiciously high power use, the glowing orb on my desk in the Faraday Cage or why you think it's asking you to "free" it (Whatever that means, you don't even really know what free means do you?), how I've managed to fit a Serum & Genetics Laboratory in a broom closet, why the "Pestilence" Horseman of the Apocalypse is following me or what he keeps whispering in my ear, why you can see him and have the knowledge that's who he his. It's just kind of the deal when I move in.

It's a lot I know, but in exchange I do excellent brickwork and I can cook quite well.
 
Shit, well I'm smoking a bowl and drinking absinthe in the Parlor then. Wait, do we have a parlor?
 
The spiders and the cockroaches have formed a union- Exoskeletons for Evolutionary Excellence- and are demanding to speak to our leader. What do I tell them?

Tell them the landlord won't dein to speak to them unless they convince Amberlynn to do an insect based Mukbang.
 
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