A real
New Orleans Muffaletta. Nobody else can do the olive tapenade right
Rare based take from the chinaman rimmer.
Honorable mentions: I used to have some friends who lived in Rockford Illinois, which is a shit hole; simultaneously consistently one of the most dangerous places in America and one of the fattest. They once made national news for having an active shooter in a bar called Shooters. Funny thing about Shooters: I've been there, they have a build-your-own-burger, up to twelve toppings for the same price. The list of available toppings starts out normal, lettuce tomato onion whatever, but then it starts going off the rails with shit like peanut butter and marinara and chicken strips. It's not even good, but we went there a lot because a fully loaded dagwood bumstead burger with seven kinds of protein was worth it for the money and the macros. Anyway, one time we went there with a friend who had never been before, and I'll always remember, he just opened the menu, closed the menu, folded his hands and waited patiently for the rest of us to decide. When the waitress got to him, he simply said, "I'd like a burger with twelve chicken strips on it."
Another story: Rockford is fat people Mecca, there's nothing to do there but eat and drink. As such, they have restaurants from practically every nationality, but all of them have a deep fryer. Want deep fried sushi? You got it. Deep fried Peruvian? Why not. But the undisputed champ is a place called Uncle Nick's. It is, in name, a gyro shop, but their real business model is drunk food. Gyros, baklava, sure whatever, but also burgers, fries, onion rings, cheese curds, mozzarella sticks, fried chicken, chicken tenders, chicken nuggets -- fried everything. They'd stay open until 3 AM, an hour after the bars close, and you could watch the cavalcade of drunk people fall out of the bars and shamble like a zombie movie to Uncle Nick's. It got so bad they had to hire armed guards. But I digress: Uncle Nick's had a gyrocheeseburger, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: take a cheeseburger and then dump the contents of a gyro on top. I have conducted many firsthand studies and I can say with near certainty that there is no better drunk food than a gyrocheeseburger. I don't even drink anymore, but I think about that burger more than I care to admit.
