GeorgeWashingtoff
kiwifarms.net
- Registrado
- 4 de Ene, 2025
Out of curiosity I downloaded it from the pirate bay, a crappy cam version is available where someone snuck a cam into the cinema (there's also a fake virus torrent on torrent sites, be careful).
I don't recommend anyone pays to watch this piece of shit, so I'm having a flick through it out of curiosity. Here's my review/plot summary.
Verdict- doesn't seem quite as bad as people say and it's target audience of young girls should like the sing-songs and the dwarves' tomfoolery etc. But there's little here for adults, the CGI is terrible (they should have gone ahead with hiring real humans for the roles) and this remake was not necessary. Developing Dopey's character was probably the best thing about it IMO.
I don't recommend anyone pays to watch this piece of shit, so I'm having a flick through it out of curiosity. Here's my review/plot summary.
Starts with narration. Sing song with young SW through the village square (much like the Beauty and the Beast intro but less memorable), narration about her mother dying, another sing song, narration about father marrying evil queen then moving away for some reason. Then 9 mins in we actually have spoken dialogue. The Queen steals all the riches but as long as magic mirror says what she wants to hear SW is safe.
SW grows up and mirror delivers the bad news. The lines are different of course ("skin white as snow" is gone) but the mirror still describes SW as "fairer" than Queen Gadot. Queen orders huntsman to kill SW (who is a lookalike of the zippy doo dah guy), same as 1937 he fails and she runs away and meets cute animals who encourage her to break and enter a someone's home (yes this is the super-PC version and she still just walks into someone's home uninvited when they are out). She just goes to bed, the clean up the house scene happens later with the dwarves involved.
Then the 7 nightmares appear (the CGI looks awful), the hi-ho singing is still there, the gems they mine look fake as if it's just coloured glass, Dopey's (who appears to still be mute) face makes him look like a child which is weird. They find SW in bed in a similar manner as 1937 but it just isn't as funny as the 1937 equivalent, it's as if SW and the GCI dwarves are all just going through the motions to get their paycheck. Grump's voice delivery sounds as if he's trying to speak like Danny Devito which just doesn't fit well. The movie addresses Dopey's lack of speech, which is welcomed, and SW teaches him to whistle instead which he uses as another way to express himself.
Then SW befriends a prince and some black people in the forest who save her from the Queen's guards who were looking for her. Stuff happens (he is injured, he is healed, they party) and another sing song. Prince is captured and the Queen becomes an old hag (she doesn't look as hideously frightening as in 1937 which is disappointing, she just looks boring and old. Only part of her I liked is the evil smile when SW takes a bite of the apple). The animals warn the dwarves who come running but are too late.
SW is woken up by the prince's kiss, despite feminists telling us about how this is supposed to be rape. Dopey talks, I like they made his talk but if these are his first words in 200+ years he shouldn't be talking as smoothly as he does here.
The 1937 movie would end here. In this one we get a showdown between SW and Queen. Queen orders guards to kill her, but they throw down their weapons because the are touched SW remembers them all and reminds them of the past when they had hope and crap. Queen is pissed and breaks the magic mirror which results in her death and she dies being taunted by the shards about how she isn't the fairest on the inside or outside. SW becomes Queen. It is revealed Dopey was the narrator all along. Short dance party ending.
As this copy was someone's own recording in the cinema, I heard a couple of coughs but not a single laugh/cry/hooray or any sound suggested audience were engaged and enjoying it. Suggesting either the theatre was almost empty or everyone there was asleep.
SW grows up and mirror delivers the bad news. The lines are different of course ("skin white as snow" is gone) but the mirror still describes SW as "fairer" than Queen Gadot. Queen orders huntsman to kill SW (who is a lookalike of the zippy doo dah guy), same as 1937 he fails and she runs away and meets cute animals who encourage her to break and enter a someone's home (yes this is the super-PC version and she still just walks into someone's home uninvited when they are out). She just goes to bed, the clean up the house scene happens later with the dwarves involved.
Then the 7 nightmares appear (the CGI looks awful), the hi-ho singing is still there, the gems they mine look fake as if it's just coloured glass, Dopey's (who appears to still be mute) face makes him look like a child which is weird. They find SW in bed in a similar manner as 1937 but it just isn't as funny as the 1937 equivalent, it's as if SW and the GCI dwarves are all just going through the motions to get their paycheck. Grump's voice delivery sounds as if he's trying to speak like Danny Devito which just doesn't fit well. The movie addresses Dopey's lack of speech, which is welcomed, and SW teaches him to whistle instead which he uses as another way to express himself.
Then SW befriends a prince and some black people in the forest who save her from the Queen's guards who were looking for her. Stuff happens (he is injured, he is healed, they party) and another sing song. Prince is captured and the Queen becomes an old hag (she doesn't look as hideously frightening as in 1937 which is disappointing, she just looks boring and old. Only part of her I liked is the evil smile when SW takes a bite of the apple). The animals warn the dwarves who come running but are too late.
SW is woken up by the prince's kiss, despite feminists telling us about how this is supposed to be rape. Dopey talks, I like they made his talk but if these are his first words in 200+ years he shouldn't be talking as smoothly as he does here.
The 1937 movie would end here. In this one we get a showdown between SW and Queen. Queen orders guards to kill her, but they throw down their weapons because the are touched SW remembers them all and reminds them of the past when they had hope and crap. Queen is pissed and breaks the magic mirror which results in her death and she dies being taunted by the shards about how she isn't the fairest on the inside or outside. SW becomes Queen. It is revealed Dopey was the narrator all along. Short dance party ending.
As this copy was someone's own recording in the cinema, I heard a couple of coughs but not a single laugh/cry/hooray or any sound suggested audience were engaged and enjoying it. Suggesting either the theatre was almost empty or everyone there was asleep.
Verdict- doesn't seem quite as bad as people say and it's target audience of young girls should like the sing-songs and the dwarves' tomfoolery etc. But there's little here for adults, the CGI is terrible (they should have gone ahead with hiring real humans for the roles) and this remake was not necessary. Developing Dopey's character was probably the best thing about it IMO.
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