Silly things you did as a kid

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Silver was a strange child.

-I used to collect little plastic figures of Dalmatians since I had a long-lasting obsession with the movie 101 Dalmatians. I brought several of them to school one day and specifically recess, but we weren't allowed to have toys at recess so I hid them all in the woodchips and didn't do anything with them until the end of recess when I got them out of the woodchips and went back in to class.

-My friend and I used to talk about Hamtaro at recess, but we didn't want anyone to know that's what we were talking about, so we just called them "You-know-whats".

-Chipped a front tooth in fifth grade. I took my nametag lanyard and tied it to the monkey bars so I could sit on it. It broke and I managed to catch the monkey bar in time to avoid falling on my ass, but I didn't stop myself from swinging my face into the bar.

-Lopped off a couple inches of hair on only one side of my head for no apparent reason at Girl Scouts once.

-Cut a hole in my pants (at the knee) for no apparent reason at Girl Scouts once.

-Trapped my cats in all sorts of small spaces to see what they would do. (I love my cats, but I love experimentation more.)

-I was a fucking Inventor when I was a kid, and here are three of the great things I did:
1) Created a water slide in my backyard (we had/have a swimming pool, but no slide) by taking the slide on my wooden playset and putting the end of it on top of a metal tub, filling the tub with water and running the sprinkler to the top of the slide.
2) I went to visit my cousins, and we were building an igloo at the top of the hill in her backyard. Well, we ran out of snow since the top layer of the ground covering was snow and the bottom was ice, so I invented a pulley system utilizing a couple trees and rigged a sled to it, so we could fill the sled with snow at the bottom of the hill and pulley it up to the top.
3) In elementary school I decided I didn't want to go downstairs for breakfast, so I rigged another pulley on the staircase rail that had a cup attached to it, which I would put my breakfast preference in and send down for my parents. (It didn't last long.)
4) It was fun to have my babysitter drag me around the wooden kitchen floor on a blanket. But she couldn't do this all the time, so I tried to invent a method to get like rubber bands and shit to catapult me around the floor. It didn't work well.
5) Worked with my mom to create a Ferris wheel for my little dalmatian figures to ride in. Why? I don't know.

-Right before I moved to where I live now, it snowed. My next-door-neighbor and I decided to bury her snowglobe that she got from Disney World in the snow. Well, for whatever reason, we couldn't find it again. At the age of 6, I freaked because I worried that when the snow melted, so would the snowglobe! We moved, like, the very next day, so I was not there to witness its rediscovery.

-I used to play animal shit with friends a lot. One time, a friend's sister told me that I had to take the collar off my dog plush in order to play. I had an autistic fit and threw a toy that I'd gotten earlier that day down the stairs. (It broke.)

-Pulled all the tape out of a cassette tape once at the age of, like, 5. I knew you could wind the tape back into the cassette if a little came out, so I figured you could wind it if I pulled all of it out, and because of that I took extra care to make sure the tape didn't rip from the cassette!! But, uh, you can't wind that much tape back in.

-Used to record myself with this toy tape recorder I have. I'd record myself singing, playing trumpet (right after I started learning it), and... talking about my life in the event I was ever able to time travel. I made this whole huge tape of "Things to Keep in Mind/Fix if you Ever Go Back in Time" and I updated it through, like, high school. My best friend (whom I've been friends with since 2nd grade, 2002) and I still refer to this giant collection (which I still have) as The Tapes. And nobody but me and her are allowed to listen to The Tapes.

-Wrote a sign when I was a kid that said "NO BOYS ALLOWED IN MY FORT EXCEPT MY BOYFRIENDS" - plural. A few years ago, I found this in The Box (a giant box containing all sorts of projects, papers, etc that I did as a kid) and promptly stuck it to my bedroom door. It is still there.

-Climbed around on the inside of the water slide at the local community pool and did a bunch of dangerous shit in there (like jumping in directly after other people).

-My mom tells me that when I was real little, I had an autistic fixation on the Seven Dwarves from Snow White. I had a set of seven, plus a Dopey from a different set, that I would line up, real nice and neat, on the table, and I'd put Odd-Dopey-Out there, except I'd knock him over. He was allowed to be there, but he wasn't. My parents promptly treated this like a parlor trick for others (especially my one uncle) when they visited: if I set up the Dwarves set, when I left the room they'd surreptitiously put the Dopey back upright, and when I next came into the room - it wouldn't matter WHAT I was doing or where my attention was, I'd inevitably notice the Dopey, knock him down, and go back to not paying any attention to the Dwarves set. I remember none of this.

-I composed a song that consisted of the titles of all the Magic Tree House books in order so that I could remember them. I still remember the goddamn melody for the first 10 books.

-I also did this for the names of the Hamtaro characters in alphabetical order. (That one was less of a song since it used like 3 pitches though.)

-I SLEPT WITH A FUCKING BOARD GAME BOX. This. I slept with this thing standing upright next to me for a while. Except the Milton-Bradley logo scared me, so I'd put my blankie over it to cover up the logo.

-In this vein, I had a short period of sleeping with everything I owned that was dalmatian-related in the bed. All my stuffed animals. Multiple books. The VHS box.

-It should be noted that my bed (which I still have) is a single bed, so there is not much room for any of this.

-My aforementioned best friend and I played Beanie Baby Battles, where we (and her two siblings) would each take 16 beanie babies, give them 10 HP and two Pokémon-style type attacks, and battle, tournament-style, for the honor of the best beanie baby. We did this multiple times.

-Up until the present fucking day, when I get bored, I will take paper and attempt to name all the Pokémon from memory. (This was easier when there were only 386 of them.) There was also a time when I'd try to name all the cats ever mentioned in the Warrior Cats series (a number in the hundreds), again from memory.

-People liked to tease me (but I didn't really interpret it as teasing) in middle school about my obsessive love of Warrior Cats. They claimed to be fans of the series, but they weren't, so I wrote up a multiple choice quiz and gave it to them and made them take it to prove they weren't Warrior Cats fans.

-Similarly, in second grade, I wrote a story about the Dalmatians going to school and doing all the shit that I as a second-grader was actually doing and wrote multiple-choice questions about it. And printed out twenty-some copies and gave them to everyone in my class.

-Oh yeah, I cried at the first Harry Potter movie. And by that, I mean I cried when Harry's parents died at the beginning, and continued crying for the rest of the movie, and came home from the movie still in tears. (It took me several years to actually read the series after that.)

-In sixth grade, my best friend (she shows up a lot), her next-door-neighbor friend, and another friend of ours would get bored at recess, so we'd play The Stick Game. We would gather three sticks, of different lengths, and hide them behind our backs while the fourth guessed the sizes. It had a lot of variations, but it was ultimately the same Stick Game, and we played this game for months without fail at recess. Don't fucking ask me how doing this for a half hour every day was even remotely entertaining.

-Totally thought that people on the Internet who were being mean to me when I was 11 were the same as the real people who were being mean to me at school.

-Doodled on my 3rd grade teacher's desk. In Sharpie. (Poorly.) Got in a lot of trouble for that one.

-When I was a kid, during the middle of my long-lasting Dalmatians phase, I was also obsessed with Hamtaro. The plot of Ham-Ham Heartbreak was that an evil dude named Spat is trying to destroy all hamsters' love, and it's up to you to stop him!! Well, I liked Spat better than his good counterpart Harmony, and I came up with all sorts of ridiculous backstories for Spat explaining why he is the way he is. But, like I said, I sympathized with him. So did my cousin (who had never played Hamtaro). We decided, then, that it was necessary to break our younger sisters' "love" by telling lies to them and trying to make them think they hated each other, just like Spat.

One of my favorites:

-I used to go to a daycare even well past the point I didn't need to, because my mom worked there and because they had a Nintendo 64 there. Well, one day when I was there, me and a girl about my age were getting pissed at this younger boy. So we set a trap for him. We prepared the air-hockey table such that the bottom sides of it were all blocked off, and we came up with this plot for a play where an evil witch (me) captures a newborn child (my 4-year-old sister, meaning I was 9/10) from the queen (the other girl). We then said, as part of the plot, that we need a brave prince to rescue the princess - of course, the boy fell for it, so he approached the witch, and I told him that in order to rescue the princess, he must crawl under there and pointed to the air-hockey table, so he crawled under and we shoved a box full of dress-up clothes in front of it, preventing his escape, and then sat there taunting him while he got upset and maybe even cried (and eventually pushed his way out).

I was a great child.
 
Silver dijo:
Silver was a strange child.

-I used to collect little plastic figures of Dalmatians since I had a long-lasting obsession with the movie 101 Dalmatians. I brought several of them to school one day and specifically recess, but we weren't allowed to have toys at recess so I hid them all in the woodchips and didn't do anything with them until the end of recess when I got them out of the woodchips and went back in to class.

-My friend and I used to talk about Hamtaro at recess, but we didn't want anyone to know that's what we were talking about, so we just called them "You-know-whats".

-Chipped a front tooth in fifth grade. I took my nametag lanyard and tied it to the monkey bars so I could sit on it. It broke and I managed to catch the monkey bar in time to avoid falling on my ass, but I didn't stop myself from swinging my face into the bar.

-Lopped off a couple inches of hair on only one side of my head for no apparent reason at Girl Scouts once.

-Cut a hole in my pants (at the knee) for no apparent reason at Girl Scouts once.

-Trapped my cats in all sorts of small spaces to see what they would do. (I love my cats, but I love experimentation more.)

-I was a fucking Inventor when I was a kid, and here are three of the great things I did:
1) Created a water slide in my backyard (we had/have a swimming pool, but no slide) by taking the slide on my wooden playset and putting the end of it on top of a metal tub, filling the tub with water and running the sprinkler to the top of the slide.
2) I went to visit my cousins, and we were building an igloo at the top of the hill in her backyard. Well, we ran out of snow since the top layer of the ground covering was snow and the bottom was ice, so I invented a pulley system utilizing a couple trees and rigged a sled to it, so we could fill the sled with snow at the bottom of the hill and pulley it up to the top.
3) In elementary school I decided I didn't want to go downstairs for breakfast, so I rigged another pulley on the staircase rail that had a cup attached to it, which I would put my breakfast preference in and send down for my parents. (It didn't last long.)
4) It was fun to have my babysitter drag me around the wooden kitchen floor on a blanket. But she couldn't do this all the time, so I tried to invent a method to get like rubber bands and shit to catapult me around the floor. It didn't work well.
5) Worked with my mom to create a Ferris wheel for my little dalmatian figures to ride in. Why? I don't know.

-Right before I moved to where I live now, it snowed. My next-door-neighbor and I decided to bury her snowglobe that she got from Disney World in the snow. Well, for whatever reason, we couldn't find it again. At the age of 6, I freaked because I worried that when the snow melted, so would the snowglobe! We moved, like, the very next day, so I was not there to witness its rediscovery.

-I used to play animal shit with friends a lot. One time, a friend's sister told me that I had to take the collar off my dog plush in order to play. I had an autistic fit and threw a toy that I'd gotten earlier that day down the stairs. (It broke.)

-Pulled all the tape out of a cassette tape once at the age of, like, 5. I knew you could wind the tape back into the cassette if a little came out, so I figured you could wind it if I pulled all of it out, and because of that I took extra care to make sure the tape didn't rip from the cassette!! But, uh, you can't wind that much tape back in.

-Used to record myself with this toy tape recorder I have. I'd record myself singing, playing trumpet (right after I started learning it), and... talking about my life in the event I was ever able to time travel. I made this whole huge tape of "Things to Keep in Mind/Fix if you Ever Go Back in Time" and I updated it through, like, high school. My best friend (whom I've been friends with since 2nd grade, 2002) and I still refer to this giant collection (which I still have) as The Tapes. And nobody but me and her are allowed to listen to The Tapes.

-Wrote a sign when I was a kid that said "NO BOYS ALLOWED IN MY FORT EXCEPT MY BOYFRIENDS" - plural. A few years ago, I found this in The Box (a giant box containing all sorts of projects, papers, etc that I did as a kid) and promptly stuck it to my bedroom door. It is still there.

-Climbed around on the inside of the water slide at the local community pool and did a bunch of dangerous shit in there (like jumping in directly after other people).

-My mom tells me that when I was real little, I had an autistic fixation on the Seven Dwarves from Snow White. I had a set of seven, plus a Dopey from a different set, that I would line up, real nice and neat, on the table, and I'd put Odd-Dopey-Out there, except I'd knock him over. He was allowed to be there, but he wasn't. My parents promptly treated this like a parlor trick for others (especially my one uncle) when they visited: if I set up the Dwarves set, when I left the room they'd surreptitiously put the Dopey back upright, and when I next came into the room - it wouldn't matter WHAT I was doing or where my attention was, I'd inevitably notice the Dopey, knock him down, and go back to not paying any attention to the Dwarves set. I remember none of this.

-I composed a song that consisted of the titles of all the Magic Tree House books in order so that I could remember them. I still remember the goddamn melody for the first 10 books.

-I also did this for the names of the Hamtaro characters in alphabetical order. (That one was less of a song since it used like 3 pitches though.)

-I SLEPT WITH A FUCKING BOARD GAME BOX. This. I slept with this thing standing upright next to me for a while. Except the Milton-Bradley logo scared me, so I'd put my blankie over it to cover up the logo.

-In this vein, I had a short period of sleeping with everything I owned that was dalmatian-related in the bed. All my stuffed animals. Multiple books. The VHS box.

-It should be noted that my bed (which I still have) is a single bed, so there is not much room for any of this.

-My aforementioned best friend and I played Beanie Baby Battles, where we (and her two siblings) would each take 16 beanie babies, give them 10 HP and two Pokémon-style type attacks, and battle, tournament-style, for the honor of the best beanie baby. We did this multiple times.

-Up until the present fucking day, when I get bored, I will take paper and attempt to name all the Pokémon from memory. (This was easier when there were only 386 of them.) There was also a time when I'd try to name all the cats ever mentioned in the Warrior Cats series (a number in the hundreds), again from memory.

-People liked to tease me (but I didn't really interpret it as teasing) in middle school about my obsessive love of Warrior Cats. They claimed to be fans of the series, but they weren't, so I wrote up a multiple choice quiz and gave it to them and made them take it to prove they weren't Warrior Cats fans.

-Similarly, in second grade, I wrote a story about the Dalmatians going to school and doing all the shit that I as a second-grader was actually doing and wrote multiple-choice questions about it. And printed out twenty-some copies and gave them to everyone in my class.

-Oh yeah, I cried at the first Harry Potter movie. And by that, I mean I cried when Harry's parents died at the beginning, and continued crying for the rest of the movie, and came home from the movie still in tears. (It took me several years to actually read the series after that.)

-In sixth grade, my best friend (she shows up a lot), her next-door-neighbor friend, and another friend of ours would get bored at recess, so we'd play The Stick Game. We would gather three sticks, of different lengths, and hide them behind our backs while the fourth guessed the sizes. It had a lot of variations, but it was ultimately the same Stick Game, and we played this game for months without fail at recess. Don't fucking ask me how doing this for a half hour every day was even remotely entertaining.

-Totally thought that people on the Internet who were being mean to me when I was 11 were the same as the real people who were being mean to me at school.

-Doodled on my 3rd grade teacher's desk. In Sharpie. (Poorly.) Got in a lot of trouble for that one.

-When I was a kid, during the middle of my long-lasting Dalmatians phase, I was also obsessed with Hamtaro. The plot of Ham-Ham Heartbreak was that an evil dude named Spat is trying to destroy all hamsters' love, and it's up to you to stop him!! Well, I liked Spat better than his good counterpart Harmony, and I came up with all sorts of ridiculous backstories for Spat explaining why he is the way he is. But, like I said, I sympathized with him. So did my cousin (who had never played Hamtaro). We decided, then, that it was necessary to break our younger sisters' "love" by telling lies to them and trying to make them think they hated each other, just like Spat.

One of my favorites:

-I used to go to a daycare even well past the point I didn't need to, because my mom worked there and because they had a Nintendo 64 there. Well, one day when I was there, me and a girl about my age were getting pissed at this younger boy. So we set a trap for him. We prepared the air-hockey table such that the bottom sides of it were all blocked off, and we came up with this plot for a play where an evil witch (me) captures a newborn child (my 4-year-old sister, meaning I was 9/10) from the queen (the other girl). We then said, as part of the plot, that we need a brave prince to rescue the princess - of course, the boy fell for it, so he approached the witch, and I told him that in order to rescue the princess, he must crawl under there and pointed to the air-hockey table, so he crawled under and we shoved a box full of dress-up clothes in front of it, preventing his escape, and then sat there taunting him while he got upset and maybe even cried (and eventually pushed his way out).

I was a great child.
Presiona para expandir...
All these stories are awesome, but I love the Beanie Baby Battle the most.
 
I thought sex was invented in the 60's and tried to figure out how babies were conceived before they figured it out some time that decade.

My grandma told me not to play outside after dark or the gypsies would take me away. So every once in a while, I'd pack a bag of toys and a snack while I waited for them. They never came.

You know how Santa leaves lumps of coal for misbehaving kids? I thought poor kids were bad so they could heat their homes for the year and would be super disappointed by a Power Wheels or Sega Genesis instead.
 
When I was about one or two, I would lean on the child gate in front of the top of the steps before my parents called me down and/or moved me away. One day I was apparently shoving my full weight against the gate and as my mom was running up to get me, the gate collapsed and I proceeded to sled downstairs. So there's my mom, worried I'm dead or seriously hurt, and then I sit up and just laugh my ass off. It was great fun, apparently.

I also didn't start speaking until I was three. I said "book" one time before that and clapped my hand over my mouth like I'd said something awful. When I did start speaking, I couldn't say the words crayon, girl or woods correctly, because I spoke in a little accent. So instead it was cray-oh, gil and voods. I also crawled backwards. My parents were very genuinely worried I was retarded.

I remember telling my nana her skin reminded me of snake skin. I really did mean it as a compliment. My nana, who as an aside is terrified of snakes, was less than flattered.
 
AnOminous dijo:
That's not silly, though.
Presiona para expandir...
I did however, forget to tell my parents for a few days that my sister was left with us. It was a detail I simply forgot at the time so I ended up being in trouble for a few days for playing with the phone.
 
I used to have to sleep holding all my stuffed animals in my arms and I had a shit ton of them

I went to Disney World bought this toy
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(Roughly about 2.5 feet long, stuffed and covered in rubber)
I slept with it for years and it's still in my closet and I still love it but I don't sleep with it anymore but I still hug the blanket.
It stunk so much like rubber, my mother hated it and I don't know if it still smells like rubber
 
Was getting a snack at work and remembered this:

In middle school, friends and I would always get super excited when a good snack or drink was in slot C4 in the vending machine, because we'd enter the button combo and then make a cool explosion noise. Because C4.

Not gonna lie, I'm almost 30 and I'll still think of that explosion sound each time I hit that button combo.
 
When I was about 5, there was this lice epidemic going around at the pre school I attended. I didn't get it but I remember some of my friends got it and had to be sent home early because of it, which made me super jealous because I didn't get any attention nor did I get sent home early because I was fine. So one day I found some ants in the grass, so I tried to pick some of them up and put them in my hair so that I "had lice." I then showed my mom and she obviously didn't know what the fuck I was talking about, so she laughed at me.

As a kid, I knew what sex was but I didn't know what exactly happens in regards to sex. All I know it involved a man and a woman. So when I played with my barbies and they would "have sex", I would pretty much grind my barbie doll and ken doll (or another male doll, I think I had a Hercules one) together like I was making fire. Oh and a lot of the "games" I played with my barbies were really inappropriate. Like they either strippers, hookers, or just sluts that cheated on their husbands all the time.
 
As a kid, I used to believe that the Ninja Turtles were real and lived in the attic of my mother's friend's pawnshop. So every time we'd drop over for a visit I'd excitedly run up the stairs, throw the door open and start looking for them, thinking they were just hiding in the many, many boxes being stored up there. I was a little heartbroken whenever I didn't find them (which was all the time) but I never gave up and continued to look for Leonardo, Raphael and co. so I could be friends with them.
 
I used to draw weird symbols and try to make up my own language. It was... interesting, I guess.
 
After seeing the Gargoyles movie, I tried to start a fan club with other kids in my 2nd grade class by putting up a CWC-style "attraction sign" at my desk in the hopes of finding friends that have also seen and enjoyed the movie. I only got odd looks and other kids sniggering at me. :(

This next story is one from my other half, who gave me permission to write this. Back in the days where the Encarta encyclopedia CD roms were still a thing (and back when his parents wouldn't let him install most computer games because they were afraid that hackers from Guam would get their credit card information [shit you not those were their words]), my husband used one to print out pages from the software to read later, so that he "wouldn't lose them," still being too young to understand that the information is always going to be there unless the CD got damaged. And he would print 20+ pages at a time, complete with full page images. This was also back when printer ink still cost your mortgage and first-born child, so of course his dad wasn't exactly thrilled about what he was doing.
 
When I was really young I guess I didn't understand how toilets worked, so I would get the little bathroom cups, fill them with water, and then dump it in the toilet. When I told my parents I was going to give the toilet a drink, they were just like "okay you go do that. Whatever."
 
When I learned that McDonald's were the primary cause of the destruction of the rain forests, I wouldn't throw out the paper on the tray to play my part. Not knowing this did absolutely nothing.
 
This kid in kindergarden told me a girl got a knife lodged in the top of her head and to get it out they had to cut her head off and then sew it back on. I'm not sure why they would have to cut her head off since like pulling it out by the handle would be the more sensible option but I believed it for several years and it scared me
 
Bugaboo dijo:
This kid in kindergarden told me a girl got a knife lodged in the top of her head and to get it out they had to cut her head off and then sew it back on. I'm not sure why they would have to cut her head off since like pulling it out by the handle would be the more sensible option but I believed it for several years and it scared me
Presiona para expandir...

That girl?

Brianna Wu.
 
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