Silly things you did as a kid

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When I was really little, I tried to skidoo into paintings and stuff and probably looked like I was jumping around like an idiot in the process. I was so confused that I always ended up back on the ground. I tried everything but it always went something like this:

”Blue Skidoo, we can too!” *tiny jump*
 
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Once when I was small, I accidentally let go of a helium balloon. I was crying and as it floated away, mom told me if you make a wish on a floating balloon, it would come true. So I looked at the sky and tearfully wished, "I want my balloon back!"
 
I liked to throw those ground spinner crazy-jacks fireworks in the air, watch ‘em fly... more than once I started a fire in the dead grass.

One of those times I started a pretty impressive hillside inferno that got a brief mention on the news.
Years later I ran into someone whose workplace had to be evacuated because of it. They were still upset.
 
I used to love to eat super-hot soup with a glass of supercold milk. If I did it right, it made my teeth tingle. A cheap high, but at ten you take what you get.
 
I sort of got a doorknob stuck up my ass when I was eight. It took a proctological specialist to get it removed. Let me tell you, it hurt like hell to get that thing twisted and pulled out. I still have the scars.
 
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When I was in kindergarten, there was this girl named April. I had the biggest crush on her, and every morning when we were getting our pencils and crayons out of our little cubby holes, I'd kiss her on the cheek. And she'd always punch me in the neck. Based on the town I lived in at the time, she probably churned out at least 5 kids before she turned 20.

When I was in 1st and 2nd grade, I was deathly afraid of my mother hearing me say any swear words. I would stop in front of a tree on the way home from school, and say all the bad words I could come up with just to get it out of my system. And every day, I'd be terrified that she heard what I'd said and would beat the shit out of me.
 
.Collected pencils and always had multiple unsharpened pencils on my desk. Up until high school. Used to tap them against the desk constantly and tap the eraser against my teeth.
.I wouldn't put my feet on the floor of my bed at the wall because I used to imagine giant rolly pollies were on the ground.
 
When I was about eight or nine, I was acting up in class and had to sit in a desk in the hallway for the rest of the period. My desk was immediately opposite an Oakland Raiders poster, and I decided to decorate the empty grey spots on the helmet with a neat symbol I saw on the spine of one of my dad's books.

That book was William Schirer's 'The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich'.
 
I've got some. When I was like 6, my dad would watch Married with Children and I would watch with him. Knowing the type of show it is, the word sex was mentioned. I honestly thought the word itself was recently made up.

One of my brothers broke his arm jumping off the arm rest of the couch.

My youngest brother was so into 101 Dalmatians, that he begged me to wear my 101 Dalmatian bathing suit to bed. I let him. He also broke his guitar because I unplugged his amp because I was trying to sleep when we were older. Don't know what his logic was. And he choked me out for the TV remote.

The brother who broke his arm and I convinced the 101 Dalmatian brother he was adopted and he started crying.

My brothers had a friend who let them borrow Pokemon Red. Me, not knowing that there was only one save file, started a new game and saved over the previous save.

Even as a 5 year old, I was incredibly lazy. We lived like around the corner from my school and I always hated walking there, it was like a 7 minute walk. I always wanted my mom to drive us.
 
I had plans to be a superhero and had drawn up plans for grappling guns and other technology to make up for my lack of superpowers.
 
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