You will never be Rik Mayall. You will never be the People's Poet. You were not in Bottom. You did not
read George's Marvellous Medicine on what is widely regarded to be the best episode of Jackanory ever filmed. You are a character actor, twisted by Star Wars ADR voiceover work and collaboration with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost into a crude mockery of comedy's perfection.
Your performance as Peeves will never be cut for time, reducing an entire generation of Potter fans to wrench out a fake smile every single morning, telling themselves it’s going to be OK, but deep inside feeling the depression creeping up like a weed
that possibly the greatest performance in all of the Harry Potter films ended up on the cutting room floor.
They’ll credit you for your work under your stage name, and every viewer for the rest of eternity will know that Rik was probably a million times better.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.