random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Army Burger]

Black holes are a bit like space anuses.

Only gay anuses. Normal anuses have stuff coming out of them, not going into them.

Some black holes are space vaginas too, this explains it!!! i think we are cracking the mystique of the spaceverse

"Can you do more tampon videos?"

"cruising for simps in the stonetoss discord" is the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard.

 

[Spooky Bones]

I tried convincing him that money wasn’t real. He didn’t take it too well.

 

[Army Burger]

"I'm gay. You can tell because I totally want to touch boobies!

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

"I feel like I'm entitled to a brain that doesn't make me have unwanted intrusive thoughts about fucking my own family." -Stephanie Cianfriglia

 

[The Last Stand]

O great auditor of the forum, may I present to you this material of imminent concern!

 

[Army Burger]

He transformed into a tranny, and then into a corpse.

Apparently, Smug’s followers were spamming the PTSD kid Steven Universe porn.

Does shitposting count, technically, as a "skill?"

 

[TV's Adam West]

Didn’t he tell a story about him threatening a girl with knife at a church for sex at one point?

I'll glass whatever slavic shithole you've claimed as your own myself.

Janitor, go eat your hotpockets and let us have fun.

When I tell him he did it to himself by spending a week and a half squeezing out one turd, he slaps me in my whore mouth.

You chew dick.

 

[Army Burger]

I hope Sockness doesn't just have rape in mind, I hope it's super duper ultra mega rape.

He looks like an autistic rapist. Put the Peach costume on or you get the hammer again.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

13. Jenkem and chill

Calm the fuck down, and get off of A&N. You've got some good posts in the Beauty Parlor, hang out there and poz your neghole.

The best part of Heaven is going to be the lack of atheists.

The second best part is going to be the chocolate tard cum fountains everywhere.

Woot hit -301 thanks folks. Sorry to cut things short but you've outlived your entertainment value. Git gud.

 

[Thornforg]

"Everyone disowned me for being a fucking lunatic so everyone else should be alone in the world because MUH NARCISSIST FEE FEES"

 

[Army Burger]

I'd do it but I'm busy fucking with my garden and reading this incredible book about coyotes and shooting dmt up my ass.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Nice. Been wondering what the Gordon Ramsey sex midget has been doing these days.

 

[TV's Adam West]

I literally made my account a matter of hours ago and I have to call you a newfag for this post.

The chances of him trying to murder Jim Carrey are less than nonexistent.

>implying spiderman hasnt been a simp since the 90s

SimpGate

He really can't stop insulting the victims of 9/11 can he?

 

[Army Burger]

Is the problem that he still has a cock?

Hello friend, have you heard the Good Word about chemical castration?

Hello, asstits!

Or do all the girls free bleed because Enter believes all children are just filthy little goblins rolling in mud?

 

[Return of the Freaker]

As a bat-eating chinaman, what I'm really looking forward to is the impossible bat. That's going to be a gamechanger.

Everyone wear garbage bags,masks, plastic hair net, tissue box shoes then go work and learn the way of NEET so you feel inclined to be 100ft away from other fuckers because the shame of looking at big anime bazoongas.

 

[francesco]

https://kiwifarms.pa/threads/josh-a...-those-girl-dicks-are-too-good-huh-boi.67900/

THOSE GIRL DICKS ARE TOO GOOD HUH boi?

 

[Army Burger]

Roger posted an hour and a half long video about how the Earth farts.

He believes autism is caused by gut bacteria

EDIT: fucking word filters, Null when will you stop your reign of linguistic terror you horrible bastard

"For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was dilation day"

 

[Jason Wynn]

From @NNewt84

No-one needs to hear about your bizarre fetish for massaging

 

[AnOminous]

One time, when I was 6, I was autistically banging on pots and pans with spoons for fun, and she grabbed a spoon and threw it straight at my face and gave me a black eye.

Virtually everything this gargantuan retard says is random_text.txt worthy.

 

[Spooky Bones]

I'm more hardcore than you'll ever know. at age 6, I was welding things. at age 9, I was the brightest computer use of my age. and now i'm 11, and I have watched the movie "aliens" 5 times without wetting my pants, like YOU would.

From here (the wasted childhood of @Drain Todger)

semper fucking fi to @Spedestrian who found this. There is other gold in that post, too.