random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Alabaster Disaster]

"Seeing a DVD of Smiling Friends in the store freaks me out, seeing porn of Digital Circus freaks me out."

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Farting Super Racists > Fat Shitting Mega Tubas

 

[Gentlebastard]

Buddhism is how life is a gacha and if you didn't get to be SSR chad prince/sect leader then you should try to obey your betters as much as possible so you get a better reroll chance next time.

She looks like a garden gnome down on its luck.

Which fits.

I hate to break it to you, but there is a very substantial demographic of men with extraordinarily low standards.

Aight, that is just pathetic. It ain't even an L, it's a concede before kickoff.

Hoisted upon their own retard.

Remember Kiwis: if you must do drugs, do so responsibly. Lest you OD and end up watching Jack unironically.

I was busy writing the above post when you said this so now I'm breaking the cardinal rule and doubleposting just so I can call you a faggot.

You faggot.

Apparently public transit exists for tough guys. You're not supposed to feel safe on public transit.

 

[The Nothingness]

This is 9/11 for Tumblr Fags.

 

[Harvey Danger]

I'm desperately trying to find the tuba vore.

Null on MATI, July 24, 2026

 

[Hitman One]

i sent a pic to a woman here and then regretted it, apologized to wife and everyone involved

 

[JustSomeDong]

Hail Lidl, full of sass, the Ooperator is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst foxdicks, and blessed is the fruit of thy wit, the seethe.
Hole-y Lidl, Queen of the Parlor, post for us retards, now and at the hour of our ban.
Amen

Ya she sugg a nigga dick then she kiss you

I will destroy everything, sorry

 

[Chromeo]

My dad banned spongebob whenever he would be in the room. He thought Spongebob laughed like an annoying lesbian, and compared Patrick to a dumb butch girlfriend.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Honestly, the scariest people on earth are Kiwifarmers whose biggest online secret isn’t being on the Kiwifarms.

 

[monstrous bubo]

My cock is the platonic ideal of what a penis is.

 

[Pedophobe]

Post hands.

I get the feeling men pretending to be women are just mentally ill men.

"by the way I took another iq test and it said it was 110 so uhhhhhhh f u c k you"

unless you're going to say kike nigger faggot, don't put words in my mouth

It's OK. you can be racist. we won't tell anyone.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Megan Thee Stallion (Niggress Rapper, and co-twerker with she-hulk)

Sneedmaiden’s Tale Rapescape

"bumbum ouchie"

Why are these people allowed to decide what others get to say?

One day, for absolutely no reason at all, the clothing store owners voted for Fitler and conspired to oppress the fats

He's wearing a balaclava because he's committing crimes against food

Did you use mayo or did you use goblin semen Miracle Whip?

God, I miss 2 door and extended cab trucks. Now they're like any SUV but with an uncovered cargo area in the back. If they're even made in 2 door variety it's the base model with 0 to no options and is shit.

I'm forever alone, let me maximize my cargo area, dammit.


Not the funniest picture in the world but I feel wrong posting in here without *something*.
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im very upset no one is acknowledging my wordplay

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Because standard proportions are the first thing you learn when doing art? It’s not the necrononicon nigga. Did you think all the vtrooners looking like that was a random occurrence? Don’t be a retard.

Instead this book is more focused on... the fuckable non-newtonian gender NPCs.

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Silence fags, a "I have to watch this to vet it to make sure my niece and nephews don't get hit by the curseyehameha autism or some gooks horrific fetish" anime viewer is watching.

I have never eaten a gas station or 7-11 hot dog because I have the stupid form of social anxiety. The hot dogs glisten on their roller and tempt me when I go in but it is an unrequited love that shall never be cause what if someone saw me get one

"All dogs hate Nazis" nigga, have you ever seen ONE historical picture of a German Shepherd?

 

[Blasterisk]

you absolute gorilla primal force of negroidity,

A limp dick may not have enough dick flesh to induce expansion depending on the hollow point used.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Like it's really really fucking retarded but as a troll myself I respect anyone who can rile people up that much.

as age + lack of funds make it harder to carry out his harebrained schemes we might find him turning to a newer, even lower effort way to nab a woman

I don't mean this in a fed posty way but he really needs to get his ass kicked, just to calm him down.

How is one expected to tell a joke when their mere existence is the perfect punchline already?

This one is a great example of a person too retarded to participate in civilized society.

I like learning languages and I lowkey want to learn Hindi just to insult the benchods more accurately.

I don't know wither to rate this post "Informative" or "Autistic".

Null will finally enact a Final Solution to the cheese question and ban everyone without his exquisite, Serbian influenced taste in European cheeses.

*new mcdonalds opens*
greeee: "this should have been a brothel"

I think he enjoys being seen as a persecuted political pundit hero, but he doesn’t realize he just looks insane, pathetic, and retarded while sending detailed death threats to his toilet and accusing it of being in a top secret terrorist organization because it called him fat.