random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Crex Crex]

Don't use words you don't understand, unless you have seen the legendary post about cock shapes vs. rape success

 

[Among Us Gaming]

If I see someone with Deltarune or Undertale merchandise IRL over the age of 17, I'm calling ICE to deport you. Fucking hell.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Sandra Brand Sandra's canned, robust, and flavorful remains.

@HackerX

 

[Gentlebastard]

If you are looking to porn to increase birthrates, you are 31 flavours of fucked in the head.

I'm not really interested in hearing the Something Awful diaspora repent for their sins.

I'm here because I want to be notified when/if (let's face it, when) Velicity Von is found dead in a ditch in Clearwater, Florida.

Is this not a gossip forum?

Why the fuck do I even bother behaving like a civilised member of society and pay for my train ticket like some fucking chump.

YES THIS POST REQUIRES ALL CAPS!!!

Pollsters are ugly, dumb, and probably finger their dogs.

And yet people still oppose declaring war on the United Kingdom. The Trump administration wont event consider it, despite my letters.

Fatrick is probably a great catch for a closeted dyke. It's not everyday you see true and honest women with a killer rack like that, let alone a man. The faucet is so small that she probably just blurs her eyes and sees porkytits as a fat whiny butch.

I'm sorry, what in the fuck did you just say? It's "gay" to wash your fucking asshole?

I thought this thread was about niggers eating cornstarch, not niggers eating ass, so everyone either sprinkle some cornstarch on that anus, or get back on-topic.

I miss when shitty concepts were as poorly drawn as they were conceived.

Narcan is a mistake, we either need to ban it or have ghost pepper juice mixed in to make them wish they died when it gets sprayed up their nose.

He's like a Formula 1 mechanic that shot a wheelchair bound Schumacher in the leg and can't understand why no-one is returning his calls.

He'll cite the legal precedence of Shrek being able to run into a church while yelling "I object!"

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

A woman told me I stunk once so I found a dead skunk on the side of the road and threw it in her jeep compass. Women need to learn the price and folly of the stench fallacy.

I am going to be playing this game once it is fully released in 10 years so that I could enjoy the plot on a good pace and hate the game on a professional level

You talk like you've never had a midnight Wal*Mart blow job.

I can't even name five things I like.

Sometimes I do the roundabout thing just for the fun of it

My personal record is 17 rotations before getting bored

SIDS is a scam, just like post-partum. If they really wanted their babies back inside of them they'd just make another one.

I like onions but that looks like bugs

Been having to scroll Facebook lately because that's where major things are happening regarding family right now. But it's exposing me to Uncle Bob's fuckin' TDS

I don't have a stroke every time I have to use an Israeli-made instrument

Also Mullvad is from a faggot country for NIGGERS

also have developed a particular mad-on for people who drive pickup trucks

something like chocking on some faggot dick in a terrible queer lesbian platonic sex accident. In Japan

SPRINKLERBITCHING

I really do love Sing and Sing 2, even if it's Illumination. It's like Pitch Perfect except I don't hate every character and want to kill them all.

I thought this thread was about niggers eating cornstarch, not niggers eating ass, so everyone either sprinkle some cornstarch on that anus, or get back on-topic.

Are you the dude in the chicken suit who keeps beefing with Peter Griffin?