random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Shartavius]

Nowhere in Rock n Roll Part 2 does he tell listeners to allow incompetent repairmen to have access to personal files.

 

[Drip Torch]

She was pretty in a fresh-faced corn-fed sorta way

 

[Aunt Carol]

I found it, thanks to 'spiked tiger cock'.

It's also inaccurate to say that his dreams are of a Korean twink when to my knowledge most of them still have teeth.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking from me, but pandering to midgets is less awful than the other possibilities.

I'm just glad to know my big titty dragon gf fantasy was actually canon all along.

I haven't friended her, of course, because I don't want my computer to start smelling like mothballs and stale urine.

 

[Lokenstien]

What in the actually retarded niggerfuck?

 

[Tom Arnold Schwarzenigger]

I will take many insults, but never, ever call me a Canadian. Especially a fucking French Canadian.

 

[Chromeo]

Bro you are so disowned from jester club.

 

[LarpBait]

while the yum yums were indeed big and bossy they were also not exposed and instead covered by a quite modest apron, thus blocking sexual thoughts.

(Original because you can't quote reply profile posts)

 

[Metamorpho]

Aonuma walks out on stage with no pants and just says "Uh sucka ona dis"

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

The vaginas of black women are objects of occult use, they are unironically black magic. For they cause only harm, the black vagina is a portal to hell in all but official classification. It's job is to spit out demons and when the owner of the portal makes this decision to fulfill its purpose, she makes a devils deal, bet on black or bet on red.

 

[Ted's of Beverly Hills]

They need to go into crim law defense and put up a billboard: "Are you retarded and guilty? Call us! We're experts."

 

[Harm]

Do you know how many times I'd get blackout drunk when I was younger because I'd get depressed that I couldn't be with Robin Hood (et al) IRL and that just made things ten times worse because that would just make a feedback loop? I don't, because I was drunk.

 

[Chromeo]

 

[Shartavius]

"Bwwwwwughhhalrighht guise, see these wide packs of select ribeye? They're on manager's special cause they were left outside a bit and an escaped mental patient tore into the packaging a bit. Each pack comes with four cuts and 600 calories per serving!"
"How many servings per package, Jack?"
"idk turn it around for me honey? ...40"

 

[pro drivor]

If people look at your picture and have to debate if you are a pooner, it's time to consider suicide. Things have not gone the way God intended and you should consider avoiding further indignity. Everybody will understand once the coroner confirms that you were in fact a man. I promise.

 

[Pedophobe]

Like an ungodly, stinky snowman.

KF is a good website for building one's vocabulary.

"From Garfield to Allah. That is the whole story"

They need to figure out how to put psychiatric drugs into tranq darts.

I've been playing Battletech for 30+ years and D&D for 20? (I'm not fat)

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Honestly having big boobs isnt even that interesting.

 

[Gentlebastard]

As a non-American, i like the US of America 'cus they make burgers.

I learn something each time I go to the farms and I hate love appreciate it

they can always check his main thread, where it appears some elevator autists have found what shithole hotel he's possibly staying in based on a six second found-footage style upload

I gotta say, I always thought the felonies I'd get busted for would be stuff like tax evasion, acquiring illegal machine guns, getting busted with a fuckton of psychedelics (I love those), or something real damn violent. Nope! It's going to be calling a failed author fat and gay. Life is funny like that.

I don't know about you all but I'm just following this thread to make sure the porn stars I like aren't lolcows.

I hate the Millenial lolsorandumb Borderlands humor so goddamn much. Just makes you sound like an immature cocksucker. I read that entire post in the voice of my gay asian coworker because that's exactly how he talks.

It's like reality itself bends just to prove Rick wrong at every opportunity.

 

[The Jumping Dwarf]

One of the users reached out to Marc Randazza, whose firm seemed to light up unexpectedly with excitement at the possibility of representing a user named @Nigger Caviar.

 

[The Stranger]

you faggots want to lift or look at women asses?

 

[Harm]

He moved from blood magic to blood-alcohol magic.