random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[PetiteFeet]

SHE DIDN'T EVEN SUCK THE FUCKING PICKLE!

But here you are talking to me about pickle blowjobs.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

There were, unsurprisingly, a lot of very fat people

 

[RGK5H]

SPOILER THAT SHIT DEAR GOD. I THINK I'M GAY NOW

 

[Meat Target]

"How do you know abo--" this is KF nigga.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

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Horrible idea. Israel exists for a reason. Go to Israel, not the US.

 

[Gentlebastard]

A loaded ass hamburger is part of being an American, a human even. To know despair and glory.

Silence Europoor, burgers MUST be stacked high or else the Communists win.

Huh. Null has a retarded love child.

Neat!

Don't let random retards online be the arbiters of your own taste.

If it exists, there's porn of it and if there's porn of it, someone fapped to it so UMMM TECHNICALLY everything on the Internet is NSFW.

at work there was a series of safety presentations called "This Is Why", and my mind always autocompleted it with "Your Life Is Already Over, Stalker. Enjoy Prison."

Good sciencing - we’ll make a sciencematition of you yet.

That's cute, she still thinks she's a journalist

A married couple who made OF content with Trisha Paytas together, stays together.

 

[Secret Boots]

Tonight, on Unsolved Mysteries, a gay Ayatollah is missing in Iran.

 

[Sheogorath]

I just find it deeply ironic that Null doesn't understand what NSFW means since he's never had a job.

Many prolific homosexuals from history didn't fit the stereotype of the depraved gay man with no standards whatsoever, Some examples: Lord Byron was a pederast (gay pedophile interested in little boys

 

[Tom Arnold Schwarzenigger]

The difference is in Caine's status as a true AI rather than a Jewish plagiarism machine.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Jet Ski User versus Boomer... yeah this one's a real fucking headscratcher. We might have to phone a friend.

 

[Sooty Soot]

Honey, I've paid for a digital copy of every single BBC

 

[Autistic Joe]

So few apostrophes, so much retardation.

 

[stares at error messages]

After this story, I don't know how anyone can ever enter into a contract with any Mormon and not expect to be ripped off. Mormons conduct themselves in an entitled, dishonest, and childishly dumb manner.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Update: Your idea was too based for the mod team : (

If you’re gonna masturbate to your characters, at least make it a sexy elf woman or a ripped barbarian guy like the rest of us.

There’s been several big developments in the autistic world of tabletop gaming.

Welcome to history, dipshit.

Feel free to suggest other slurs we can try.

I'm still learning the more distasteful words for trannies.

Many may not know the real reason why Germany lost WW1 was that Bismarck wasn't married to a 10/10 woman.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

Making fun of Ralph is like making fun of a special needs child. I love it.

 

[Lord of the Goyim]

Good advice. I'll use the shotgun instead, with the kiwifarms logo on it

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Can you niggers stop just giving me late stickers and ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION

 

[Gentlebastard]

She also thinks she's a young woman instead of looking like she crawled straight out of a Grimm fairytale.

"I went on a website where a sizeable portion of the culture revolves around screenshotting people's retarded posts and calling them retards, and somebody screenshotted MY retarded post and called me a retard! How could this happen to me?!"

“You don’t have any life left, stalker. You’ve run out of hit points. Only a fraction of your bar remains. This is how you chose to spend the precious few frames you have left before the damage-over-time effect you’ve inflicted upon yourself ends you. Enjoy restarting from last save point.” - Patrick D.P.S. Tomlinson

 

[Secret Boots]

Women and fags of the farms will see a dude who's 6'2, 135lbs with a 3.5 foot long chin and go "goddamn what a stud, if he didn't troon he'd have been Chad Thundercock"

 

[Tablet County]

raise you 1 bouncy yaris to restore morale and reduce sadness

They're clearly an alt right incel nazi chud, "seek help" is a dogwhistle for "sieg heil".

Don't you know how powerful legos are? You can stack them on top of each other... and they become a bigger, greather thing than the sum of its parts.