random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Metamorpho]

CaptProlactin sounds like the most miserable person to ever live who also wants everyone to be JUST as miserable as she is.

Tax:
Ver archivo adjunto 7704194
This was in response to a screenshot of a player called "FryeFuta"

Character or people can't be trans anymore it's always we getting turned into a porn category and I fucking hate y'all for that

 

[Dr. Butt]

Am I the only one who thinks this orgy never happened?

 

[JustSomeDong]

First 3/4 of the thread: schadenfreude, gender wars

Last 1/4: pisstowel discourse

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

It is just plain ole masturbation.

Edit: added comma, because a lot of the women I respect are grammar nazis.

It’s a never ending game of hot potato, except instead of foil around a delicious baked potato, it’s foil around heroin.

open can of surströmming

I’ve got to say every day I read this thread and I switch between unable to decide whether I need eye bleach or to join a church and pray for these people.

But storming the cockpit is fun!

"What his Holiness does in the woods with his towel ain't my Business man"

 

[Pendulous Dong]

They've tasted paradise, there just can't be any way in hell they would ever want to go back to the fecal tyranny of the dreaded behemoth.

this fleeting existence of a diaper gypsy

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

This would be so sad if I had a sense of empathy. If only I had a whore girlfriend who could teach me what it is.

There was a doomsday pepper documentary years ago which I can’t find now, but I vividly remember a scene where it talked about how two of the women were diabetic and their solution was to hoard insulin and bury it in a river bank to keep it “refrigerated” after the power had gone out.

CEO of a Data company Astronomer was caught cheating on his wife with the head of HR. They were seen on the kiss cam at a Coldplay concert. What happened to brining your side piece to a motel? People forgot how to cheat. The adultery doesn't bother me as much as his taste in music. Fucking Coldplay. Really?

Who tf uses heroin anymore? It's all meth these days.

A couple of times he tweeted really disgusting fur porn and I was just like "I can't be looking at this, my immortal soul is in danger".

WARNING: literally the top post is a revolting man butt.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Based for calling out the insanity of mutilating kids, total insanity on her take of fucking kids.

Henry Kissinger lives on in our heart.

*they were living in the tent in the mountains
*he was in a mental hospital
*he got out and was euphoric
*he rapidly became insane again
*the tent polycule ditched him

 

[Dr. Butt]

"also when you're 18 you can see my dick and its pretty rad."

 

[Aunt Carol]

Cut them some slack, the Bible says nothing about speed limits.

Jill 1:1 Thou shalt have no other gods before Jill.
Jill 1:2 : Thou shalt not feed thy kids.
Jill 1:3: Blessed are they with big hair, for theirs is the kingdom of God.
Jill 1:4: Put on the whole armor of 80s makeup, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of subtle eyeshadow.
Jill 1:5: For the MLMs are good, are their mercy is everlasting, and Jill's truth endureth unto all generations, but especially unto her subservient offspring.

I like the close-ups on Dave where you can see how covered in lint he is.

 

[God's drunkest driver]

When men pee they naturally retract the foreskin around the back of the head. Think of an acorn.

 

[JustSomeDong]

i gained new insight about the perils of debanking and cocks.

 

[Cancer ♥]

I'm gonna make burgers at 3AM because i lost control over my life

 

[The Noise]

Are you implying my father has never made us ribs? Cuz he has made us ribs.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Dad might not be diddling you directly, but you're still gonna have a warped view of basic human connections.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

hopefully the cyberbullying trannies site can relate to what I'm dealing with.

sorry for being gay guys, im gonna go kill myself

 

[Potato Burrito]

If I stabbed myself in the thigh down to the bone and fucked myself with a dildo it'd hurt similarly, because you're trying to fuck a wound open.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

its not that you are gay, you are just stupid

 

[frozen_runner]

Britain is the land of second hand embarrassment.

Spoiler: about the Pragg Snarbo plot

The Indomitable Fire Of Allah! (not available near dogs and small ugly toys)

Pull out that gock bitch, lets get to the bottom of this.

Ellen Page vanished mysteriously years ago.

Evolution was a mistake and I long for the cold deep ocean.

Just here for the inevitable shit show tbh.

I'm a pretty retarded user on this site in general but I never thought someone would be more retarded than me.

RFK help us. RFK please. RFK please no more high fructose corn syrup for the ladies. RFK please save us. RFK please. RFK please save us.

(Inb4 I am told that is a man and I should have looked closer.)

Friendzoned on the farms. Can a bigger felting even happen?

So there is this thread about yaoi mpreg.

Women should have dog collars that holographically display the amount of abortions they have.

oh god no
please no
not my darling xenophobic narrow eyes

Well, that's one way to tell the entire Internet you were kept safe from the Jews...

 

[Oliver Onions]

u_m is actively stalking me and looking at my every move to try and silence the truth

 

[Namekian George Floyd]

I still want Bryan dead. He's a fucking nigger.