random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[CaddestSlown]

you don't want your sissy hand holding your dick, that's just gay.

 

[JustSomeDong]

You know, sometimes I wonder whether you’re frequently pretending to be retarded or occasionally pretending to not be retarded.

 

[John_Smith]

Smart people sound stupid to stupid people, child.

Last twenny minutes has seen an outbreak of rage oinking on his xitter feed.
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Keep an eye on this while I head for the shitter for the next forty minutes....

 

[Black Man Underwear]

EGGS ARE BAD! LOW EGG PRICES RAPES TRANS CHICKENS OF COLOR!

 

[PhoBingas]

Are you accusing me of fag stolen valour??

 

[Seafarer]

the federalist papers would've been significantly better if the founding fathers who wrote them had been fans of bossmanjack.

@Null this one has got to make it in!

 

[Laburnum]

"Most people on KiwiFarms are Class III obesity. Meaning they're so fat they have to fart in order to walk."

 

[Blackhole]

I don't know what would be more depressing: to be a cow in a thread that goes past 1,000 pages, or to be a cow in a thread that took 6 years to hit 50 pages.

And regarding Trump, enemies of my metaphorical enemies are not necessarily my friends let alone invitees to my spitroast breeding carousel.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Hello men-faux and women-faux!

 

[Aunt Carol]

I see the usual tale of "Pizzahut is better outside of western countries".

Mazel tov, you fat retard.

 

[Poonocchio]

Am I reading this right, is this pooner sticking her enlarged clit into a man's butthole?

(Sorry if bindun)

 

[CaddestSlown]

show me how that pussy farts

 

[Spectate]

i knew a guy who raped a 12 year old while he was 17

 

[JustSomeDong]

Something Awful is dead, old man. The age of goons is over. The time of the weeb has come.

You will never be a real android raptor, you have no gimmick, you have no recognizable name. You are a pale imitation of the BPD Catlady perfection that was their 'bortion and religion posting.

Hmm....I do have that old Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS costume I wore for my Niece's christening lying around somewhere.....
Just need to fish the blonde wig out the septic tank and give it a hose down and i'm good to go

 

[Ed Special]

[Your racism leveled up.] (+1)

 

[CaddestSlown]

I’m sorry your dream future of gay space communism and billie eyelish blowjob videos on demand will never be realized.

 

[Spud]

you chuds adopted the lolicon, he was born into it, molded by it

 

[Space Police]

You're not really doing much to help stop the soyteen stereotype of mentioning black penis unprompted 24/7.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Missy was the name of my first car, a white Volkswagen Passat, and also what we’re going to use to refer to my penis.

“Grown man parading as ‘Audrey Hepburn Reincarnated’ Faces the Consequences by Lack of Boner.”

It would be difficult to pee, but at least I wouldn’t feel so conflicted about the future of my crotch.

(I’m looking at you, tucking tape)

I’m going to put my sexual woes aside and cheer myself up with some musical theater.

 

[Aunt Carol]

He may have super penis big, but at what cost?

It's not like he's going to grow a chin at 42.

Zach, you don't have a magic savant brain that can see extra frame rates. Your prescription is out of date. Go to an optometrist.

He's an ouroboros of bitchiness.

Like there's some Lord High Council of Rimjob Enthusiasts you must impress and get your application stamped by in triplicate before you go put your tongue in a stranger's butthole at a weird bar, OR ELSE.

What's a mango nig? New word for south americans?