random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

A man of culture I see, disdains a working man's beverage.

Embrace anal breathing.

To be fair to the pedophile, it'd probably be harder for a single man to adopt a girl.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

Kiwis played "guess the race" with the wrong person's messages yet still got the right race. You guys are extremely impressive, and racist, but most importantly impressive.

 

[LifeAlert]

Then Jack would get all red and demand to know where the bathroom is, growling "COME ON, TAMMY" as she looks to the ceiling, shuts her eyes, and begins rolling plastic livestock insemination gloves up to her elbows. While being wheeled toward the toilet, Jack would grab a ziplock bag containing bleeding cubes of chuck roast and cheddar cheese; so he would have something to hold him over while Tammy works his gunt over with a rolling pin to stimulate a BM of hard cheese and blood with the color and consistency of Nesquik strawberry syrup. Note: Jack would rotate his hat 180* and say "Toilet Mode."

But if Jack's going to deny the existence of Detroit-style pizza, which some say is God's chosen, I hope he has his fourth sixth seventh stroke on livestream and Jr is too loud yelling the nigger word at kids in Call of Duty to hear Jack's cries for help.

 

[Captain Chromosome]

boo hoo retard nigger, no oen cares.

 

[Turkroach Couple]

Kiwifarms is fun because, unlike reddit, it's not just one huge echo-chamber. It's three distinct echo-chambers that frequently bleed into each other.

 

[Pedophobe]

The Dead Internet Theory is 200% real if you count flesh bots as well.

All I want is for my enemies to suffer and die. Is that too much to ask?

What the fuck am I reading? What do any of these words or phrases mean? Am I just old and retarded?

 

[JustSomeDong]

Appreciate the explanation, even if it is much more autistic than I expected.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Learn. It's good for your brain and prevents dementia.

 

[⚞⛇⚟]

also I am /surprise surprise/ actually a left-leaning latina teletubby fan

 

[CaddestSlown]

We get it you like grandmas holy shit every thread with you it's like listening to a furfag but for 70 year old roast beef

 

[Doxmatix]

It really tickles me. He thinks as an autistic shut-in who shouts at disabled people to eat his ass with a spoon for a living that he’s some big brain, super-rational Mr Spock.

Grannies, it's your own propaganda that has left the normies disgusted at the very thought of you. You have demonstrated yourselves to actually be everything that civilization, morality, faith and philosophy have warned us about for centuries. You truly are repulsive.

Kiwi Farms is now a website, a hardship, and a billable legal specialty.

What flavor are those? Water?

He keeps his door locked to stop the fat bitch from stealing his Freddos.

God was right to flood the earth and kill us.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Every language in every culture since the beginning of humanity has a word that means faggot.

 

[Biker]

Well, I can't remember the last time I saw a Zoo video with a Black woman in it.

 

[Big Nasty]

i don't think any woman under 25 knows how to squirt.

“drawing a hello kitty character ripping ass”

 

[White_N]

I never told anyone, but they’ve treated me as a normal person, as a normal human being in this country, as a Kiwi.

 

[Patrick Bait-man]

please
just take my fucking smurfs
I'm begging you to DM me and demand Smurfs

 

[Betonhaus]

We get it you like grandmas holy shit every thread with you it's like listening to a furfag but for 70 year old roast beef

 

[Gentlebastard]

Incredible! When you don't censor people, they say what they think! And as it turns out, they're really fucking pissed at the people who were censoring them.

We really at the "Court Alchemist with strange elixirs" stage of Imperial decline

I'll give the retard a pass for this one.

Nothing wrong with recreational racism unfortunately you people wouldn't understand that

Oh God I'm gonna stop coming here at this rate. Genuinely need to bleach my eyes.

> "The stretchability of an Asian woman's vagina is compatible with any species."

This is like mirror universe beastiality with the animal looking down on the human.

I enjoy this thread for the hypocrisy.

I just had the sudden realization that there is a very high probability that it will be a Jeet that will one day perform humankind's first rape in space.

I shouldn't discredit him since he proves he's dumber than he seems

I thought the thumbnail was a hunk of raw meat at first blush.

It still doesn't look anything like a...whatever it's supposed to be.

100LL is an Aviation Fuel primarily. The LL is "low lead" and makes it taste better.

Leaded gas tastes sweeter like the paint chips in the old houses.

I'm not excusing it, they don't do anything like this monstrosity, and I am enraged by the mere sight of this piece of shit.

I've seen practical effects that look less convincingly like offal than whatever the fuck that is.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

street shitress

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

corn is a conspiracy invented by the toilet companies so your toilets wear out faster... FOLLOW the $MONEY$ and SEE!

If that's the case, that means simps in the game industry wanted mediocre Armenian pussy.

cocaine is a wussy drug and people drinking coffee or subhuman don't give into the jews coffee to ameth man

Buffets are serious business. It's not just about calories, but also establishing social hierarchies. You think I want to shove my fist in the chocolate fountain after sampling every item and a dozen dinner rolls? No! It's about asserting my dominance and challenging all other fighting age males. Millions of years of evolution guide my hand.

Yeah exactly, free shit like that turns people stupid as fuck. Lots of the ski resorts and such in BC set up bbq's and hand out free burgers, hotdogs and whatever other bbq stuff they have left over at the end of the skiiing season so they don't throw a bunch of shit away when they shut down for the season. They'll put a bbq up at the top of every chairlift and people getting off will grab a burger before they go skiing. But i've seen it get real ugly a few times. Years ago one guy got pissed off cause the guy in front of him in the lineup got the last hot dog when his kid wanted one. Turned into an argument and ended with him slashing at the guys face with one of those old school 1970s ski poles that had blade like sharpened ends that you could do serious damage with. Cut up his face really bad and the guy nearly lost an eye. All because some idiot lost his shit over a free hot dog, when all he had to do was ski down to the next chairlift over and get one at the bbq they set up at that one. So much for being grateful for getting some free food. Funny thing is that happened over a hotdog yet over at what was then hemlock valley their version of it included some strips of steak cause their lodge has a rather nice bar and grill thats pretty much a mini steakhouse, yet nobody ever went batshit like that over some steaks. That said if anyone ever finds themselves in BC in the winter i'd highly recommend taking the time to try out that place. Its one of the best steakhouses in the country and the lodge is gorgeous

You think people would just do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?

Do not click that link. My eyes were raped with horrible web 1.0 design.

random text this please