random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Nick knowingly and willingly read anime sucks cope and sneed 20 times

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

While I'm disappointed he didn't get the firing squad, I was getting bored of this arc.

 

[Tablet County]

Kiwi Farmers are so retarded they can't even stay on track for a day without sperging about aluminum and cooking appliances.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Sic semper retardus.

 

[AnOminous]

From this.

From Turkey Tom's @Dansburst Studios video, William commented on it telling Tom to correct some mistakes, mainly mixing up @Peppermint Swirl and @Fosteryou:
Ver archivo adjunto 6905007

 

[LifeAlert]

I've got a great idea. Take a loaded gun, stick it in your mouth and pull the trigger.....

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

How the fuck do you jerk off ironically??

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

No no no

The only right way to do executions in idaho is to pelt the prisoner to death with large potatoes. If that fails then a final shot to the back of the head with a potato gun

People die from choking on food all the time, we practically kill ourselves. We have plenty of options.

 

[Tablet County]

Just in case you were wondering "Mr. Wong's Ball Stretcher and Cock Puncture Academy" is actually a mistranslation.

 

[Cnidarian]

On the sim theory, my favorite idea behind that is that this is just one giant social MMO. That each of us is this immortal alien. You go in the MMO because you're immortal and have everything catered to you. So you need to remember what suffering was like otherwise the while society collapses. It's not really for fun, it's just to remember when life was hard. Because otherwise you'd end up like a decadent civilization which basically destroys itself through ennui. So we're in this horrible MMO so we gain perspective and our society doesn't fall to insane cruelty.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Patposting has been my favorite sport for a few years now (btw, this season the team is looking great), but even I often get tired just from reading it.

The problem is that he's NOT Hitler! Like come on, is it really that hard to get a Hitler 2?

I'm being cognitohazard'd.

This guy destroyed all incelcore servers in an instant today

 

[Hamstirer]

being fat and having tiny balls that don't produce testosterone just seems to be a prerequisite to creating and using a Reddit account.

 

[Hamstirer]

Why would she start birth control with you? It's not like that plastic rod is going to knock her up with a Cabbage Patch Kid.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Without unsupervised internet access, this site wouldn't exist.

Penis electrocution

 

[Oliver Onions]

I can promise I’m not gay enough to lie about something like this

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I'm having way too much fun in this thread lately.

This guy is either an unhinged schizoprenic or one of the greatest philosophical minds of our time (but also an unhinged schizophrenic).

can you guys please let me interact with a single woman without getting weird ship fanfic in this thread

Be a dick in real life. It's fun.

Stupid tortilla niggers.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I have people that touch grass for me.

I don't think he's as much of a narcissist as he's functionally retarded, like a 12 year old with Down's syndrome. He sees his name and "YAAAAAY, YAAAAAAY I KNOW THOSE LETTERS IN THAT ORDER THAT IS MEEEEEE"

Men don't smile. Emotions are a woman thing, men just look sorta constipated all the time.

I was happy once, it was horrible.

I'm thinking @Null should crowdfund and build a high class luxury brothel in Nevada. Hang a sign on the door "no Greers".

It's worse than that. He's a failed wannabe pimp.

Most people, when not knowing about an issue, would just refrain from commenting. But not our fatty

No matter how bad things get, I know I'll never throw a quesadilla at a wall and then write a poem about it.

The mutilation of babies is reprehensible but "Phall=O-Meter" got a laugh out of me.

Is this a moderator's poorly disguised fetish shining through or was this actually a common enough insult at one point to worthy a mention.

Just looked into his eyes and there was nobody home, he had all the joie de vivre of a dead chocolate lab.

"What do you mean nobody wants to raise a family in WhoreTown? I mean, even the very name conveys images of wholesome family fun!"

I regret to inform the thread that the mayo monkeys are at it again.

What stood out the most about him was that he had either too many chromosomes or not enough. I'm not sure which it was, but he was pretty retarded.

I took that as a sign to leave. Seven in the morning was far too early for that level of retarded.

How can I un-read what I have just read?

That probably needed a spoiler alert. I feel defiled after reading that -- and I'm not easily grossed out.

I drew a soyjak on his cheez its and he's refused to touch them since.

Why would you do that to null

 

[babadook]

>mom found the vintage terracotta bathroom gnome

 

[Tablet County]

I gotta say, when bodily fluids enter the equation, it's time to step back and reorient.

This nigga got an ass carrot.

Brother, I am an anime avatar with a MAGA hat in the Kino Casino thread, you should be thankful I'm not screaming about CP in red capslock.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

I see myself as the horse getting molested

Don't forget the Odin Cum Chalice

tfw you will only ever have vaginal sex with natal women, and never experience the true pleasure of an amhole

I'm not emotionally prepared to handle the thought of cum-guzzling-viking-femboy-wizards.