random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Table Country]

"Whoever tips cows should take care not to become one. For as you sneed into the 'tism, the 'tism also sneeds into you."​

If that's what it takes to save the kiwi farms, I will stop being mad. Stop being mad... at the internet.

 

[Skitarii]

Is there a mod that would make Mary Jane older? Or at least modeled with early 20th century fashion?

Not sure if I want to see Peter making out with his aunt

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

someone once rated me dumb, and since that encounter my life has never known peace. the following day, snakes started manifesting in my house

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Last I heard he was living in his aunt's basement, presumably jacking off to the worst porn in existence.

Well know I know the technical term of getting aroused from vomiting. Good.

Don't rate me :islamic: or :horrifying: - you clicked through two spoiler tags nigga.

If one chick doesn't enjoy having sex with you, it's her. If two chicks don't enjoy having sex with you, it's you.

Anyone actually typing "folx" needs to be severely beaten.

To quote Exodus 20:5 but with all instances of God replaced with cook/chef

The dude transitioned and is now a naughty little nympho who cries herself to sleep from sexual frustration.

And this is why censorship and deplatforming is bad, because these people deserve to be mocked endlessly.

It is perfectly normal for cis cocks to rot or fall off. I work in a hospital and have seen more penises than I care to remember. The variety of cock rot is common.

Haha I kinda think it looks like an old fat lady’s vag

 

[NoReturn]

Was I saying you were being racist? I wasn't implying it either. I clarified because otherwise I'd sound like the one going for low hanging chink fruit.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

"The chance of several people getting into a polyamorous relationship is proportional to the product of their masses, and inversely proportional to the square of their self respect." - Newton's law of universal poly faggotry.

Literal sexual deviant at risk of raping his children in his sleep gets cucked by a broke senior citizen, wife with severe health issues who is openly using him for health insurance gets intentionally knocked up despite 50/50 chance of pregnancy ending in death. Casually drops info that she is now about to die in childbirth while bitching about feeling judged by the LGBT community for being polyamorous.

my poly acquaintance divorced her husband because while she was out sleeping around with her partners, he was (unbeknownst to her) molesting their daughter.

This is literally the thought process of ugly people when they have degenerate sex.

"And I am taking the kids because you are beating off around them."

all people who subscribe to polyamory look like they smell of cheese

My ex-wife threw our family in the trash and left me to die in the hospital to pursue "relationship anarchy."

She's homeless now.

"i've withdrawn my consent to being fluid bonded with him"

Man not satisfied with being cucked occasionally injects reddit advice into his 10 year marriage with 6 kids. Do you think it went well? Nope.

nothing about these people makes any sense

in terms of impact on the child i think a "daddy is gone forever" situation is pretty bad, but a "daddy is out whoring while mommy is crying herself to sleep alone in her room" is much worse.

How about you all suck eachother’s dicks and close this thread?

Looks like somebody found their reddit post in this thread.

I've never seen the flag that's inside the heart before, and that's saying something considering I have a fairly comprehensive knowledge of retarded pride flags.

Honestly?

Kill yourself.

And how do you pronounce "aroace" without sounding like Scooby Doo?

Imagine growing up and finding a photo of yourself, sad, in a dress, standing next to your browbeaten mom, your fetishist dad, their fuck-buddy, and the 900 year old governor of your state.

I was going back and worth whether the person writing that rant was autistic or just retarded.

Then I got to the part where they’re quoting Wikipedia and went: “Oh! It’s both!”

@AnOminous once suggested in a thread somewhere that there should be a button you can click on a post that automatically negrates every other post that user has ever made, and will make in the future, to save time for everyone. I really hope this is implemented.

Sorry if I'm spamming but I'm reading through the r/polyamory thread for the first time and this whole thing is pure gold.

 

[I am vomit]

Never trust something that bleeds for two years and doesn't die.​

Being a prick is a tremendous joy. Joyless pricks are doing it wrong.

What is it about a fucking DONKEY KONG forum that compels him to be so open about his fetishes? Is that like a common thing with that forum's user base?

The Memphis Freethought Alliance is already a hilarious name, but honestly its even funnier that this lard ass got his politics from a donkey kong forum where he wrote fan-fiction

Who has Marxist Donkey Kong Fetishist Band on their Bingo card?

Only in Kiwifarms a silly thread about usernames would derail into unveiling some fat retard's Donkey Kong fetish
Love you guys

You better hope they don’t prefer teeth…

 

[Greasy Spoon]

Ver archivo adjunto 3609091

D4all and Kiwi are partners..both run by a guy in the States and they have been found responsible for 3 suicides...he's a real strange one ..,in his 40s and lives with his mum

 

[Hitman One]

why are there federal agents outside my house

 

[Spud]

You will never be a real business. You have no business plan, you have no investments, you have no savings or reserves. You are an academic's pipe dream twisted by ideas of socialism and troondom into a crude mockery of capitalist perfection.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

End of post, now "transition" unfortunately means trying to change sex again.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Black pastors being grifters that could put the white televangelists to shame is a tale as old as time, sadly. My favorite was always Creflo A. Dollar, Jr. I'm not sure how you Creflo a dollar, but he was doing it, right into his pockets.

 

[My Name is Mud]

Dad: Because you're a goddamn Communist and you want everyone in the goddamn world to be a goddamn *inhale* Communist. *inhale* And you want everyone to be a goddamn atheist because *unintelligible groaning* You can't see God. You can't go into a church. You can't prove God. The hell you cain't. You don't wanna hear God! You have give up on God. So go in the goddamn bedroom and give up there. Don't preach it to us. We don't have to give up on God because we know God."

 

[Skitarii]

I put Jersh in this morrowind mod

 

[Table Country]

This is A&N champ. We are all joyless fucks here that want to be angry. Since we are also hopelessly autistic, getting angry over a Spiderman game is pure heroine straight into the veins.

Thank Talos I can still get my Argonian futanari mods a-plenty!

It's GAY HOMOSEXUAL ANAL BUTT SEX IN THE ASS BETWEEN QUEER MEN WHO LIKE DICK; straights most affected

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

Why don’t you wheel me to my room; I have an idea about that.

 

[NoReturn]

I bet none of them can even answer simple questions like "why does it smell like bleach and ammonia here" or "is that dog full of tannerite"

 

[3MMA]

He may call himself the Amhole but I think he just wants to be Amwhole.

 

[Meat Target]

*insert 500 laughing Shaq memes*
*and a laughing Takagi*
*and some laughing Tim Curries*
*and the three laughing Jamaican guys*

You can't convince me that this isn't an edit, or a horrifically elaborate mask. This is not the face of a human being.

Do you have any idea how many calories you need to be consuming before your body decides it needs to start depositing fat into your fucking FOREHEAD?

 

[SevenEightNine]

You can't blame the guy for cowering when 700lbs of pure rape is charging him

@BigFatSweatyMan in chat 4:21:30 PM