random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[corvuscorax]

Dick origami has about the same chance of "success" as being lobotomized by a drunken chimpanzee using a dirty chainsaw

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I'd kick you in the nuts if you had any.

pretending to jack off your imaginary penis to Chainsaw Man.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

can i @ you if im not a dipshit leftist nigger?

Your one friend is Mormon and your other friend is AME, but your third friend has pictures of saints and shit all over her house, and you go home and ask dad why WE don't have pictures of saints, and your dad says something really racist.

 

[Wodanaz]

My money is on niggers nigging out. Not even related to Donald Jackass Piece of Shit Orange Face Trump

 

[Preacher ✝]

odds of niggers bigger niggers increased

 

[Layton Mysteries]

yeah hes definitely getting blacked. they're gonna make some sort of amateur chastity cage in prison and put him in it and tattoo a spade on his balls. hes easily getting some niggermeat constantly for the next 20 years of his life kek.

 

[Gregis]

Can I search "ball inflation" on the Kiwi Farms?

 

[Big Nasty]

She literally has frog ass.

 

[David Spadem]

PPP-Josh-Clussy.mp4

PPP: "This is Shit.. It's wacky and random JOSH-THIS IS FUCKING SHIT!"

 

[Tablet County]

Hasan Piker isn't real. Stop talking about him and he disappears

>go to /pol/[...]
>20 threads about niggerdick in the catalog

>Name is Renee Good
>is bad
>Name is Alex Pretti
>is ugly
>Name is Nasire Best
>is worst

 

[Aunt Carol]

But for example, as a homo I’ve always been acutely aware of just how insanely antisocial it would be to go around demanding that straight guys fuck me.

Did you know that building more houses not only would cure homelessness, addiction, cancer-AIDS, homophobia, child abuse, end the loneliness epidemic, delete the use of the word nigger in To kill a mockingbird and make the monetary system unnecessary but it would also bring about an era where Pallas cats and humans can communicate via telepathy? It’s just obvious when you think about it!
[8M likes, 63K retweets]

I don't know what a metaphor is, but I can write some really baffling similes.

Haven't checked in on 'ol strokey in a while, I see he is still fat slow and crippled

 

[Spectate]

This is a better one, And I don't rape. If I can fist a cow I can fist (you) in a loving and consensual way

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

Last time I spoke to my grandma she told me that if she was in charge she would hang Starmer and use the navy to sink all the migrant boats.

I asked Chatgpt what torque spec a frame bolt was on my bike and it cured the apple in my brain, I'm super thankful it really was giving me a headache.

You don't get to police my inner monologue, Kevin.

 

[Click reply to view]

Greg is afraid of mirrors because he will see that he is brown

 

[a kiwifarms user]

If you niggers keep talking about Steven Universe I'll actually tell mom

 

[Gentlebastard]

Lactose intolerance in this day and age is just ridiculous. Let milk get married!

Old porn wasn't like new porn. When was the last time you saw a quail hunting scene? Do they even have shotguns in modern porn?

Shoot for the moon, cause even if you miss, there's no niggers in space.

Real "electricity comes out of the wall" stupidity.

Oh, it's this fucking yo-yo again.

 

[Caliph of Abu Baka]

Donald Trump is very brave President of the United States, I bow down to him and I will obey

Ronald Reagan reincarnation

I am no longer support Antisemitism anymore

Hate, Murder and Kill for Adolf Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.

 

[Aunt Carol]

actually, I would pay money to know what a phrenologist would make of this weird ass head.

Edit: AND the molestation. The molestation too.

This is, not to put too fine a point on it, a very pre-menopausal mode of thought.

I don't like being reminded of Betonhaus's penis pump when I want to jewsperg.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

a bunch of faggots in addidas track suits

Knowing how hard he copes, this list starting off with "woke up" makes me think he wishes he didn't.

mostly unmangled

the Eternal George

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

There is no hope for you. Himeno is the worst Chainsaw man girl.