Phil's Early Life

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He was valedictorian of elementary and high school according to him. High school was verified but he also went to school in a "ghetto" area so maybe he was king among retards.
Yes, however it was in a private Catholic school of 50 students. You just have to show up, pay somewhat attention, and be somewhat above adequate in your work. Phil can't think critically or on his feet - he's very straight forward thinking in tasks, and if anything deviates from his autistic way of thinking, it's the world's fault and everyone should have to bend the knee for him. Why? Because he's Phil.
The school is highly ranked in "diversity" and "sports", just because it was Catholic does not mean it was good. Most Catholic schools are a half-step above the surrounding public schools, but that doesn't mean a Catholic school in a shithole will be any good or that it will attract well qualified students from far away.

Phil also claims to have been in the honors program in university. This has not been verified but I would not rule it out since it appears admission is either during or before freshman year (i.e. could have gotten by on inflated grades from his shit high school) and there are no requirements to remain in the honors program other than staying off academic probation. Fairfield is not a particularly good university so he would not even have been one of their worst students.
I highly doubt Phil was playing with the local kids a lot when he basically shared none of the same interests as them.
He claims to have few to no friends growing up because the other kids broke their toys whereas he took good care of his and did not share.

ETA: if memory serves he claims to have hung out with other outcasts who didn't give a fuck in high school.
 
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The school is highly ranked in "diversity" and "sports", just because it was Catholic does not mean it was good. Most Catholic schools are a half-step above the surrounding public schools, but that doesn't mean a Catholic school in a shithole will be any good or that it will attract well qualified students from far away.

Phil also claims to have been in the honors program in university. This has not been verified but I would not rule it out since it appears admission is either during or before freshman year (i.e. could have gotten by on inflated grades from his shit high school) and there are no requirements to remain in the honors program other than staying off academic probation. Fairfield is not a particularly good university so he would not even have been one of their worst students.

He claims to have few to no friends growing up because the other kids broke their toys whereas he took good care of his and did not share.
He's so unique, Netflix has already made a movie about him?
 
I have very rarely heard Phil ever say anything about his life before high school. I don't think I've ever heard Phil refer to any kind of childhood friend from before the age of like 16.

When people were suggesting he should exercise he yelled at them that because he "played outside as a child" that he "developed properly" and now that he's an adult he's "done developing" and he "doesn't ever need to do that again." This is similar to when Phil was explaining how "it's pretty cool that if you ever do any weight lifting you basically get to keep that muscle forever."

He also said that what the "other children" thought you did with a toy was to "take it, and smash it against the wall until it broke. That's just what they thought a toy was, they didn't know any different."

During React streams almost every single 80's and early 90's toy commercial he said he had that toy as a kid. He also said that his dad kept the toys locked in the attic and Phil was only allowed to play with them with his dad's supervision.
 
Here is what I think his childhood was like:

  • Parents could buy him pretty much whatever he asked for, that's why the one time they didn't left a mark on him (wolverine toy)
  • Overbearing mother made him become a mommas boy
  • Parents failed to teach him basic socializing approaches so he failed to fit in with other children
  • Overbearing mother turned him into a no-life dork so he was just by himself playing games for the most part
  • He was likely one of the few kids at school who would study/memorize stuff so he came across as pompous and other children bullied him
  • Very important - parents ingrained the belief that bad things happen outside, and bad people (blacks) lurk around every corner, so staying inside is safer - therefore he didn't participate in common activities for kids (biking, playing sports, climbing trees). This mentality is a core part of his character even today.
  • Whenever he tried to socialize, he'd have lolcow moments and kids would call him names and insult his intelligence - this is where his insecurity in that regard stems from, and why he also loves attacking other people's intelligence
  • Instead of taking the criticism, Phil became more of an introverted hermit child and tried to tailor his personality to impress whoever he was around which made him bland and boring to be around
  • His father was likely not present in his life, or at least not present in a constructive way
  • Phil, perhaps due to autism, has interpreted that life (and by extent happiness) is a series of general checklists you need to go through. I don't know if someone has instilled those values in them, or he's just that autistic
These are my own predictions based on "reverse engineering" his current personality and behavior.

Recap - Phil's mommy loved him more than daddy so she held him real close and Phil couldn't breathe. Baby Phil then couldn't make any friends and he was called a dented fag. Later on Phil realized that all he wanted was attention, and that if he couldn't make people love him then they might as well hate him, so he became The King of Hate. And then they hated him. So here we are.
 
Recap - Phil's mommy loved him more than daddy so she held him real close and Phil couldn't breathe. Baby Phil then couldn't make any friends and he was called a dented fag. Later on Phil realized that all he wanted was attention, and that if he couldn't make people love him then they might as well hate him, so he became The King of Hate. And then they hated him. So here we are.
that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about if I ever get my worthless ass to begin a thread I plan on calling the maxims of Phil, you know just a quick paragraph on the each of the things that makes Phil Phil something that can be understood and easily digested by normies and unfortunate streamers to stumble upon him. The attention part specifically it's really hard to answer what he wants more; attention or money but me I say it's the attention because just getting money with no fanfare behind the scenes isnt enough, he NEEDS those tards opening their velco wallets and the spectacle of his faggot alerts and animations when he gets money because as the old adage goes no publicity is bad publicity.
 
The attention part specifically it's really hard to answer what he wants more; attention or money but me I say it's the attention because just getting money with no fanfare behind the scenes isnt enough, he NEEDS those tards opening their velco wallets and the spectacle of his faggot alerts and animations when he gets money because as the old adage goes no publicity is bad publicity.
It's not just winning (both money + attention play into this), it's about beating everyone else: Nowadays it's "hit the vest goal to own the trolls"; twenty years ago he posted a whole diatribe about how he was going to come to some upcoming FGC event, win, and take immense pleasure in proving all his haters wrong.

Back to his early life - that kind of ego and 'me vs. the world' mentality don't appear overnight, he probably let the most inconsequential things you can imagine go to his head since at least middle school due to some combination of Linda's coddling and other students not caring or just not liking him.
 
Linda was like Cartman's mom. Spoiled him at every turn. But, instead of being a giant whore (unless there's a nugget of truth to Phil's claim that both parents cheated on one another), she power-slammed menthols instead.
 
Everytime I think Phil and high school, I just imagine him and in that Punisher outfit. Sure, buddy!
I wouldn't be that harsh in depiction of Phil's puberty years. Dependently on his peers he either was well adjusted due to social pressure and didn't come up with cringe stuff, or considered as such. To me, he never crossed the phase from being dumb teen/young adult to actual adult. You know, that handles stuff by himself. He surely is dependent on his parents, plumber and other people that he calls to do minor stuff that could be handled by average guy.

But hey, that's me and my retardation.

Parents failed to teach him basic socializing approaches so he failed to fit in with other children
X for doubt.

Very important - parents ingrained the belief that bad things happen outside, and bad people (blacks) lurk around every corner, so staying inside is safer - therefore he didn't participate in common activities for kids (biking, playing sports, climbing trees). This mentality is a core part of his character even today.
Doesn't he have a sibling? In any case, if he was an only child of his overly protective parents he could've been prohibited from doing "risky stuff". But again, It is kinda awkward that his father didn't taught him to ride a bike or swim. I would even assume that his parents never acquired such "skills".

I have high inclination to believe that many habits that adult grow up with are either directly or indirectly cause of parents behavior.

His father was likely not present in his life, or at least not present in a constructive way
I would point my finger that either his father was unpresent or he had better bonds with mother. In any case, his parents, maybe due to religious beliefs, built a very conservative approach of raising a child. That is, father was a provider and rest was on his mother shoulders.

Nonetheless, the picture of his parents isn't pleasing.

Phil, perhaps due to autism, has interpreted that life (and by extent happiness) is a series of general checklists you need to go through. I don't know if someone has instilled those values in them, or he's just that autistic
I doubt that he is autisitc or in spectrum.
In my huble opinion, he was lead by hand throught his life and thus become dependent. I highly doubt that any decision in his life was his own. Rather the likings of his parents. Personally, I don't understand why he has a diploma in business. He seems not to be interested in economy, business, entreprenourship related stuff. I think, it was his parents decision (frankly, a good one) but due to lack of any independence of his own he haven't put any thought about it. Thus, after college he didn't pursue career in business because he's dilettante in this sphere. Parents, probably, told him that their role is over and the result of it was a guy that rather building a family and career, continues with youngster's dream about becoming a progamer. Why? Because he has no clue how world works and he was never let to do stupid stuff.
 
Doesn't he have a sibling?
His parents adopted his cousin Melissa. Posters in the main thread claimed that she was adopted when Phil was about six but I cannot find anything to back that up. Based on my own digging she is about five years Phil's senior since she was 35 in 2012 but that says nothing about her life in the Gout House.

Given that her father was living until 2012 and his obituary lists her as his daughter she was not an orphan and probably not estranged from her dad to the point they pretended the other did not exist which raises more questions about why she was adopted. Especially when her father's obituary makes no mention of an ex wife.
 
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Stories I remember:
  • When Phil was a small boy his father worked the night shift. Dave would have to call home every night on his break to tell Phil goodnight so he could go to sleep
  • Phil's dad would take him to Subway as a boy and Phil would play their arcade machine. His introduction to video games.
  • When Phil was hanging out at the arcade some black kids were going to beat up a white kid so the kid went into the bathroom and tried to escape through the ceiling tiles.
  • When Phil was in high school he hung out with two other guys and smoked weed and drank beer. They would all go in the hot tub together not in a gay way.
  • Like Neger mentioned, Phil's parents would not get him a bike because the black kids would have stolen it.
  • Phil had a hot nun as a teacher and he gave her expensive perfume as a gift. The perfume was taken from his cousin Melissa.
  • Phil worked at a "health food" shop in high school where he learned to toss salad.
  • Phil said he didn't have time for friends as a child because he was too busy doing homework and studying so he would have a bright future. The minorities stripped that dream away from him when he didn't get a college scholarship due to being white.
  • Phil's mom combed his hair for him until he was in high school.
  • Phil claims his parents went to the principal and complained that the nuns gave him too much homework.
  • Once some kids framed Phil and he got sent to the principal's office. The principal told Phil, "I know you did nothing wrong but I need to punish you to keep up appearances".
  • Nuns taught him "save your pennies for a rainy day" meant to save your going to the beach money and spend it on bowling when it rains.
  • Part of the wolverine story - every week when mommy Burnell tool little Phil shopping he was allowed to pick out one toy. He would then look at the box while they shopped and he had to put it back and not buy it.
  • Phil claims he lost his virginity as a teenager but there is no proof of him ever having a girlfriend before Leanna
  • Phil's nickname was allegedly 'Phil with the oddly shaped head
  • Phil's mom spent most of her time watching QVC at home. She did not have a job
  • Phil's dad was allegedly a US Marine before Phil was born
  • Phil claims to have had friends of every race as a child so it's impossible for him to be racist
  • Phil's parents used to get invited to family get togethers for the holidays but for some unknown reason they suddenly were not welcome anymore
  • One Christmas one of Phil's relatives put coal in all the kids stockings as a joke. Phil got the largest piece of coal and it made him cry
 
Phil claims he lost his virginity as a teenager but there is no proof of him ever having a girlfriend before Leanna
Can you imagine how based it would be if DSP name dropped Cindy from high school or whatever and every single autistic sperg on the internet started calling her house?
How could a woman survive having the reputation that they copulated with Phil?

lol Leanna sucks
 
Phil and Melissa each got their own separate, lavishly decorated Christmas tree each holiday, for their own gifts.

Phil got a highly coveted He-Man playset, but it was too big to set up in the family home, so Dave set it up in the attic. Young Phil was taken to the attic where he could play with it while supervised.

Phil's childhood pet was a rabbit named Bunny, whose loss he greatly lamented.
 
Stories I remember:
  • When Phil was a small boy his father worked the night shift. Dave would have to call home every night on his break to tell Phil goodnight so he could go to sleep
  • Phil's dad would take him to Subway as a boy and Phil would play their arcade machine. His introduction to video games.
  • When Phil was hanging out at the arcade some black kids were going to beat up a white kid so the kid went into the bathroom and tried to escape through the ceiling tiles.
  • When Phil was in high school he hung out with two other guys and smoked weed and drank beer. They would all go in the hot tub together not in a gay way.
  • Like Neger mentioned, Phil's parents would not get him a bike because the black kids would have stolen it.
  • Phil had a hot nun as a teacher and he gave her expensive perfume as a gift. The perfume was taken from his cousin Melissa.
  • Phil worked at a "health food" shop in high school where he learned to toss salad.
  • Phil said he didn't have time for friends as a child because he was too busy doing homework and studying so he would have a bright future. The minorities stripped that dream away from him when he didn't get a college scholarship due to being white.
  • Phil's mom combed his hair for him until he was in high school.
  • Phil claims his parents went to the principal and complained that the nuns gave him too much homework.
  • Once some kids framed Phil and he got sent to the principal's office. The principal told Phil, "I know you did nothing wrong but I need to punish you to keep up appearances".
  • Nuns taught him "save your pennies for a rainy day" meant to save your going to the beach money and spend it on bowling when it rains.
  • Part of the wolverine story - every week when mommy Burnell tool little Phil shopping he was allowed to pick out one toy. He would then look at the box while they shopped and he had to put it back and not buy it.
  • Phil claims he lost his virginity as a teenager but there is no proof of him ever having a girlfriend before Leanna
  • Phil's nickname was allegedly 'Phil with the oddly shaped head
  • Phil's mom spent most of her time watching QVC at home. She did not have a job
  • Phil's dad was allegedly a US Marine before Phil was born
  • Phil claims to have had friends of every race as a child so it's impossible for him to be racist
  • Phil's parents used to get invited to family get togethers for the holidays but for some unknown reason they suddenly were not welcome anymore
  • One Christmas one of Phil's relatives put coal in all the kids stockings as a joke. Phil got the largest piece of coal and it made him cry

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You remembered a lot of things, I haven't even heard about all of them.
 
I think the lore was that he got a bike, assembled it with his dad but never rode it because the other kids would see a nice bike being ridden by some pasty chubby out of shape polack and steal it.
FTFY
That being said what brand of bike you think he had? Some Kmart special like a Murray or Huffy or was their super special boy able to guilt his parents into getting a GT, Dyno or Mongoose cause he saw it in the back of a comic book?
 
Phil has no problem with say learned skills like mathematics. but thinking outside the box (Remember the "what's fastest?" from his Bully playthrough?) Or perhaps more accurately he has no creative thought in his head. And him living like a hermit and alcohol and fast food abuse probably hasn't improved. In addition he probably rarely got told "No!"
Phil is able to do things like performing a division or multiplication as simple stand alone concepts.

He has serious trouble with any sort connecting abstracts, like, how to apply those concepts to come with a percentage, how to use that percentage to calculate an interest, to apply it over time to get a compounding effect.

He can learn the definitions of each part, but he just cannot link them together in an applied fashion, it's completely outside his mental capacity.
 
Phil is able to do things like performing a division or multiplication as simple stand alone concepts.

He has serious trouble with any sort connecting abstracts, like, how to apply those concepts to come with a percentage, how to use that percentage to calculate an interest, to apply it over time to get a compounding effect.

He can learn the definitions of each part, but he just cannot link them together in an applied fashion, it's completely outside his mental capacity.
Your assessment is solid and to give an example of how extreme this is, he claims to have paid off his student loans as quickly as he could to avoid accruing interest . . . but when it comes to paying minimums on credit cards or getting installment plans for his taxes those are the "smart" move because it means more money now. Just changing the name of the thing that accrues interest is enough to fuck with his understanding.
 
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