📚 Megathread Phil's Crowdfunding Adventures - Smokes weed every day, claims bipolar disorder

  • 🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
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I think the reason Phil didn't get his winter clothing on his last trip can be put down to one reason: there's a sucker born every minute. He knows there are people out there who will give him money without saying, "Well what the fuck did you have in there that's more important than not freezing to death?" Hell, for all we know, he already did get his winter clothing, and he's just squeezing people for all they have before the next "social embargo."
 
I just think it's because he's a short sighted dipshit with a hoarding problem. That and he makes a point to hog up any resources he finds, including heating.
 
Go fuck yourself with a bike pump Phil.

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"I intend to fundraise for this model bike."
Of course you do, Phil. Saving money or getting a job would be beneath you, so you'll expect other people to do it for you.

Serious question - Do people look at bike models the same way they look at car models? I'm not a bike person - I can drive. I'm just not sure if this is something I'm not aware of, or if Phil is being even more autistic than usual.
 
Serious question - Do people look at bike models the same way they look at car models? I'm not a bike person - I can drive. I'm just not sure if this is something I'm not aware of, or if Phil is being even more autistic than usual.
Sorta. Bike people are weird.
 
"I intend to fundraise for this model bike."
Of course you do, Phil. Saving money or getting a job would be beneath you, so you'll expect other people to do it for you.

Serious question - Do people look at bike models the same way they look at car models? I'm not a bike person - I can drive. I'm just not sure if this is something I'm not aware of, or if Phil is being even more autistic than usual.
Phil is autisming a lot over a model that is not a great choice for him, but yeah. Or, at least if you are doing certain things like heavy touring, racing, or urban hipstering.

When you can pay, without even going specialty, as much as for a bike as for a new-ish non-entry level Mercedes lease/rental return it gets like that.

There are differences between models that have a big effect, despite the fact that to most eyes the bikes look identical.
 
Serious question - Do people look at bike models the same way they look at car models? I'm not a bike person - I can drive. I'm just not sure if this is something I'm not aware of, or if Phil is being even more autistic than usual.

Yep it can get really really specific, A lot of it has to do with the type of riding you do and your local conditions, but also frame geometry and balance have a lot to do with it as well - it's why a lot of shops now offer test rides.

The Bike Phil's after is a decent commuter bike if your mostly going down roads and the odd but of poorly paved pathway or grassland, but it's WAY to much bike for a beginner, and the riding position the geometry suggests you ride in mostly isn't really useable for some one of his girth. So if he did get it the effort using it would be immense and it will end it's day's as a bit of extra living room clutter he can hang bondage gear from.
 
guns and bikes are really similar when you think about it. Phil does not have money to buy, a reason to purchase, any knowledge about selecting the proper kind, any clue about maintenance, does not know how to use either, and any attempt to use it will likely end up with Phil injuring himself. the only difference is Phil cant buy a gun because of a 5150, and cant ride a bike because of his balls.
 
guns and bikes are really similar when you think about it. Phil does not have money to buy, a reason to purchase, any knowledge about selecting the proper kind, any clue about maintenance, does not know how to use either, and any attempt to use it will likely end up with Phil injuring himself. the only difference is Phil cant buy a gun because of a 5150, and cant ride a bike because of his balls.

And yet they are cornerstones of his persona.
Its why i love the idea of phil achieving any of his goals because they are all ultimately hollow and achieve nothing.
Owning a bike and to a lesser degree a gun are things most adults dont even consider milestones yet to phil they represent some form of autistic nirvana.
If phil woke up tomorrow with a gun and a bike it wouldnt improve his life.
He wants a gun for bragging rights and some magical kiwi gunfight thats never going to happen and a bike is just a hunk of metal he aint never going to use, hes just going to claim he cant use it because kiwis are going to kill him if he steps outside.
 
Its why i love the idea of phil achieving any of his goals because they are all ultimately hollow and achieve nothing.
Owning a bike and to a lesser degree a gun are things most adults dont even consider milestones yet to phil they represent some form of autistic nirvana.
If phil woke up tomorrow with a gun and a bike it wouldnt improve his life.

It's actually really weird how autistics do that.

They have this idea of "If I get this/do this/ have this happen to me, I'll FINALLY be happy!"

And they obsess and obsess over it, and it drives a lot of their ambitions

If they end up getting it, they'll realize it won't actually make them happy. But because they're literal retards they'll assume it's because it wasn't good enough, or specific enough, so they'll adjust their goals to the next big thing

It's similar to what we're seeing with this apartment. Phil thought he'd finally be happy, I assume, and then realizes that adult homes come with adult responsibilities :story:
 
Yep it can get really really specific, A lot of it has to do with the type of riding you do and your local conditions, but also frame geometry and balance have a lot to do with it as well - it's why a lot of shops now offer test rides.

The Bike Phil's after is a decent commuter bike if your mostly going down roads and the odd but of poorly paved pathway or grassland, but it's WAY to much bike for a beginner, and the riding position the geometry suggests you ride in mostly isn't really useable for some one of his girth. So if he did get it the effort using it would be immense and it will end it's day's as a bit of extra living room clutter he can hang bondage gear from.
What kind of bike would be good for him?
 
What kind of bike would be good for him?

^That to start with, Phil can't ride at all If he was going to buy a bike (and it'd have to be a new one who doesn't do preowned) a $200 bike from some big box store with a basic set of gears, that he doesn't have to be gentile with that he can fix on the cheep, when he fucks it up learning to ride it (if he learned to ride it, with the effort an all).
 
What kind of bike would be good for him?

I'd said before that one of those adult trikes like what senior citizens sometimes get would be perfect for him. He wouldnt have to know how to ride a bike to ride it, they usually have a big back basket for carrying stuff and pretty much every bike co op has one or two. One of the homeless guys I know likes his so it'd be great for when he's homeless houseless again.
 
I'd said before that one of those adult trikes like what senior citizens sometimes get would be perfect for him. He wouldnt have to know how to ride a bike to ride it, they usually have a big back basket for carrying stuff and pretty much every bike co op has one or two. One of the homeless guys I know likes his so it'd be great for when he's homeless houseless again.

You mean like this?

http://www.ebay.com/itm/6-Speed-24-3-Wheel-Adult-Tricycle-Bicycle-Trike-Bike-Basket-Yellow-White-Black/222221478843?_trksid=p2047675.c100011.m1850&_trkparms=aid=222007&algo=SIC.MBE&ao=1&asc=38530&meid=3d3270d94f1446eb8a389d551fe13504&pid=100011&rk=1&rkt=3&sd=151123418217

This one has a back rest for his tubby ass and the price is way below 800 bucks.
 

Yep. You don't have to balance to ride them, they're fine for puttering around downtown areas, and you can carry your 50lb bondage bag on the back. Literally everything he needs in a bike.
 
Good old Phil. Claiming he needs money for food while planning to drop 1K on a bike. :surprised:

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(And that's not cat food you numbskull.)




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