📚 Megathread Phil's Crowdfunding Adventures - Smokes weed every day, claims bipolar disorder

[MMX]

No, Phil, you didn't have to "divert funds on short notice." You got a boner at the thought of more weapons and because of your poor impulse control, you couldn't wait until your next sped check.

Lets be honest his next sped cheque is already burnt
The rest is gonna get wasted buying shitty trans life lines shirts and donations back to himself.
Then again hes not blowing it on skylanders toys

 

[AnOminous]

That's some ghostwritten bullshit. Let us count the signs:

1. Focuses on "improvement", even "return to the workforce", because people are more inclined to help those who help themselves. Phil cannot have such an insight because, as a terminal autistic, he has zero idea as to what motivates other people.

He's too retarded to think of the idea of not being on Social Security Disability just as a scheme. If he's thinking about that at all, he's worried about it actually happening. Perhaps his tard bucks review isn't going so well/didn't go so well and he's waiting on a result.

 

[Positron]

Doesnt slingblade have a history of scam funding and exploiting the tranny community.
Supposedly hes turned phil into a guest in his own home so to me atleast it was just a matter of time until he took over phil ebegging.

Sure it can be Slingblade, but I doubt it.
1. Slingblade's own fundraisers (example) aren't that sympathetic either.
2. Instead of "improving" Phil's, why didn't Slingblade get his own "I'm a boy next door who just happens to need a hand" fundraiser? Just replace "homelessness" with "recovering alcoholism" and he'd be all set.
3. Phil has been posting "weapons weapons Kiwi Farms reeeeee" bullshit -- which are now all taken down; someone must be coaching him -- almost two months after he knew Slingblade. If they were collaborating on a scam these ridiculous fundraisers shouldn't even have been posted.
4. Slingblade is probably too drunk to give a shit.

But look to the bright side: given Phil couldn't have written something like that on his own, he'll revert to his old self once his mysterious coach deserts him (which, given his obnoxious personality, is just a matter of when). The retards who had felt for (and fell for) Phil will be in a rude awakening.

 

[AnOminous]

But look to the bright side: given Phil couldn't have written something like that on his own, he'll revert to his old self once his mysterious coach deserts him (which, given his obnoxious personality, is just a matter of when). The retards who had felt for (and fell for) Phil and will be in a rude awakening.

I wonder if it's a guy known for gutting dudes like they were salmon.

 

[Twrx]

I wonder if it's a guy known for gutting dudes like they were salmon.

Probably.

 

[Hellfire]

The line about needing pepper spray and concealable weapons has been removed from the latest repost. If he's concerned with paying $155 for December's storage fee, you'd think he would be getting all his shit out of there this month, and not waiting until Christmas week.

 

[Ravenor]

He's changing tactic's on the begging front a little bit, He's now asking for $1200 for a fucking bike -

I'm not going to bike sperg but that's way over the top for what will essentially end up as furniture or pawned for Cheese money.

 

[Positron]

You see what he does when his mysterious ghostwriter/coach is away? He loses touch with reality and starts begging for outrageous stuff. No one is going to even consider buying him a $1000 bike when they're riding $100 bikes themselves.

Autism (and commercialism) never changes.

 

[Flame the Sunbird]

Damn, he's getting greedy! I guess he'salready made almost $1K from his constant begging so why not up the stakes? There might just be a trustafarian dumb enough to give it to him.

 

[DragoonSierra]

Get a used one for 50 bucks at goodwill or a garage sale.

 

[Bassomatic]

I like the I'm personally committed to never owning a car. Not knowing what yield means and refusing to work isn't exactly the noble quest he paint himself on.

Who ever is writing for him knows two things, one if he gets some of the cash he's doing better than before, and second it's shiny and costs more so it's better.

 

[Ravenor]

Get a used one for 50 bucks at goodwill or a garage sale.

Phil has a aversion to useable and functional / accessable. If his own money isn't a issue he will only accept what he thinks of as the best.

I like the I'm personally committed to never owning a car. Not knowing what yield means and refusing to work isn't exactly the noble quest he paint himself on.

Who ever is writing for him knows two things, one if he gets some of the cash he's doing better than before, and second it's shiny and costs more so it's better.

If I was to hazard a guess this is slingblades writing, the thing is I genuinely suppport Phil never learning to Drive for the safety of other road users. He is genuinely incapable of the level of thinking that driving a car entails he's a one track mind at the best of times, hell this is a man who can't walk an talk at the same time.

For a second imagine this - "Phil get's his hands on the american equivalent of a CBT, the most easy to aquier road legal transport available), Moped", now for most people this is easy to master, so much so until recently if you got a driving licence in the UK you coulld buy anything with two wheels and a 125 and not have to use "L" plates.

If he got one in a day he'd break so many safety basics the first time he has a bad stop he'll tea kettle and really fuck himself up, but he can't even ride a bike let alone something under power so he has no idea of handling or balance he'll cause accidents just through his own bad driving.

We have all seen this kind of Bike rider, the guy who really shouldn't be on the road, or the idiot with a bike far more powerful than he can handle trying to show off an whipping out badly. Phil would do that the second he sat in a car, let alone a fucking scooter.

 

[bacterium]

Granted, he should wear that helmet at all times.

But c'mon dude doesn't even know how to ride a bike. You can get a decent bike for like $120, what the fuck does he need a 1200 dollar bike for?

 

[Ravenor]

what the fuck does he need a 1200 dollar bike for?

Posing an asspats. a good preowned bike isn't enough for Phil he has to be the one that get's a fucking nice bike brand new, because he can't accept the second hand option it has to be his, he has to own it, nobody else.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Is Phil being sponsored to say the words "recovering from 5+ years of houselessness" or something?

Realistically, I can't see this bike being of any use to him. We all know that he's not actually going to look for a job, and the only reason he's claiming this now is because the donations are drying up and he needs to pretend there's some noble goal in mind.

Then there's the fact that he can't ride a bike. The fact that he thinks his balls get in the way shows that he doesn't even know the basics of riding bikes (or having testicles). I don't believe he has the physical coordination to ride a bike, much less the stamina. And if he's only learning to ride now, well, that won't be an easy task. Basically, if this does get funded, I give it a week before he angrily gives up and it's converted into a crate of vodka for Slingblade.

 

[Hellfire]

Phil compares his houselessness to the duration of World War II and says Donald Trump and Mike Pence are "interested in hampering and/or threatening" his recovery.

 

[Positron]

Another sign that the ghostwriter is not Slingblade, who approves of this gibbering bullshit.

> I do want a return to the workforce -- even if it's a pizza parlor, gas station, or bike messenger.
> ...if I get a job white people scream I took their job!

Right now Phil still retains enough memory of what he was told, hence the reiteration of the lies about getting employment and "self-improvement", but the old Phil, bloated with lies, excuses, and greed, is already wiggling underneath, yearning to break free.

Next post will be about Gamergate and pepper sprays.

Is Phil being sponsored to say the words "recovering from 5+ years of houselessness" or something?

I don't even know what that means. If you get a place with a roof you have already recovered from houselessness, and the time you had bummed is irrelevant.

 

[DatBepisTho]

"...White folks will then scream..."
They already do that at the sight of your spuddy visage.

Also lol, Philthy, you are still whiter than creamed corn on a saltine cracker. No amount of filth will hide that.

 

[An Ghost]

Big contrast to his 'I want huge tittys' post.
Even at the end of all these 'I'm working to improve myself' lies, he still slips in a victim card play at the very very end. There's his excuse for not getting a job, because of the president elect. Not cause of his raging case of autism.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Phil compares his houselessness to the duration of World War II and says Donald Trump and Mike Pence are "interested in hampering and/or threatening" his recovery.

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It's like he started out with the relative sanity of the ghostwritten post and thought, "No, you know what this needs? More hysteria!"
Also, I love the insane non-sequitur logic. "I was homeless for the same length of time as World War II, therefore what happened to Europe was basically the same as what happened to me!" So yeah, the bombing campaigns in Europe, the Nazi invasions of countries, the intense fighting, the mass slaughter, the food shortages, the Holocaust? Phil is literally, unambiguously claiming that he's experienced the same level of trauma as all those people combined.

If he really wants to go with that metaphor, now we need to chop him in two and send half of him to Moscow.