perhaps the most retarded idea I've ever had (Registered Agent Edition)

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

fuck paying rent
I own my home in Texas
No state tax
send me your mail

IF you live in a not shithole part of the state you can go pull a dumpster defender or Kyle Carruth! At least this time it'll be over trannies trying to murder you rather than a dumpster.

 

[cybertoaster]

Find the most thug-life stereotypical black guy you can living right in the middle of comptom and offer him $500 a month to be your agent and resend any mail he gets for your LLC.

If these sheltered tranvestites even have the balls (or had, metaphorically, you get my point) to start some shit over the phone they are gonna get a fucking deluge of homophobia enough to trigger some of their made up disorders from not leaving the house for over a decade.

And if they are actually insane enough to go visit the guy they are gonna get stomped like in that video, and good luck getting any sympathy from the community for attacking a black guy in his home.

 

[Zvantastika]

The Office (kiwifarms adaptation)

I wonder how that would look like.

 

[Lamby Lams]

I was thinking about this all through my shift. What do you think the chances of this employee getting injured via shootouts or confrontative cows and their cohorts are? Because if there is a physical manifestation of the Farms, then rest assured at least one person is going to want to take revenge out on it.

 

[Cloacan]

My fucking God, can we spend a fucking month, just ONE, without some new bullshit?

We close a hole and then it seems another one appears

The struggle only makes us stronger.

 

[Tropical]

Get someone who's willing to do a near 24/7 livestream, uploaded interesting clips to youtube and use it as another income stream. Ideally it'll be someone who already wants to be internet famous/socially autistic.

would make for a perfect 24/7 reality show.

The kiwi farms mailroom.

 

[Bell Weather]

Anywhere near Elko the cops won't give a shit what trannies think.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

isn't there a protection thing you can do in PD's relating to having your address being swat-immune? whoever's the brave kiwi that does that can do two things:

There are 18,000(ish) police departments in the US and 18,000 sets of policies and procedures. Making yourself "swat immune" is about as hard as making something "idiot proof" unless you're rich\famous enough to have people do it for you.

Sometimes, if the local PD is competent or you have connections there, you can hope that they program their dispatching system so that a special little alert goes off for a particular address so they might at least have a clue that the VoIP call they just received with a weird sounding voice might not be legit. Or maybe it's a small department like Ruckersville where they've been contacted so many times that everyone in the department probably knows not to bother with calls about the Chandler house unless it's from someone they can identify. Can't depend on either of those things though. I think trolls got around the former issue with Pat Tomlinson by giving an adjacent address but describing his residence (i.e. "yeah, uh, it's the second floor place just across from 125 fake street, I don't know the address").

So I just don't think almost anyone could be secure about not being swatted. A laminated sign outside the door is probably as good an idea as any. That's why the idea of doing it at a residence where someone sleeps at night is scary to me, but I get that there's few options otherwise given the way any rented option would quickly go. Also why a legal office of some type would be best, but apparently they know better than to get involved in this shit.

I don't keep up with Cobra that much but is he really that inept? He already hates trannies, is too retarded to sell the information to bad faith actors and is used to getting trolled by people
If he can do the menial tasks required that a fucking monkey could, he'd be perfect for the job.

It would have to be someone who would resist phishing and social engineering. Someone who knows not to click links and that the person calling isn't actually Null just because they say they are. probably someone who knows how to deal with cops, at least a little. All this stuff isn't brain surgery but allegedly smart people fuck it up all the time. More importantly, you can bet that the troon brigade would try and complicate life for someone in many ways. Find out who their internet provider is and start calling the CEO's wife at 2am claiming abuse from a particular customer and get them cut off. Sending all kinds of weird shit in the mail. Maybe, following their playbook, illegal shit, hoping to have it end up in Null\KF's possession. There are myriad ways to fuck with someone. I don't really follow cobra, maybe he's got the sort of attitude that's perfect for dealing with all that but I can envision a lot of situations where someone expected to do a simple menial task ends up dealing with all kinds of bs...

 

[Mortin Shart]

Fuck if I lived if Delaware I'd be the perfect candidate to be Josh's business gimp/sex slave. I'd love to be swatted by troons.

 

[bussarin555]

Nool we are more than happy to offer from the dozens of professionals at IP2. they can provide their own transportation and squat as long as you need.

 

[Janny Jewsh]

instead of sticking to null's budget how about a bunch of us chip in for like a full Waco

As of looking into it we could totally grow kiwis for some kind of profit so a literal kiwi farms is on the table

it's about time to make KiwiFarms a real life Farm
with alpacas and kiwis

-Hire cobra
-He'll invite all the trannies that come after him to a dinner
-Trannies will die from acute food poisoning
-Nobody's left to ddos the site
The new 20-year plan. Discuss?

YUGE support for any plan that involves Cobra working for KF

 

[God's strongest milkman]

I live in Texas and am moving to my own land that I own in rural east Texas. I would be happy to do this for you. I'll just call the local sheriff and let him know the deal and he will pretty much leave me alone.

No coked up tranny is driving into rural redneck Texas past ranches and homestead's to a town with like 2 thousand people in it.

Just pay me whatever monthly rate you think is fair and I'm willing to do it for you. Only kicker is I won't be there for a month.

 

[scumfuck]

I'm in SD and gay as fuck. My fiancee says he is down to live in the kiwihaus. His demands are as follows:
1. 1500 SQ ft house. 3bd, 1.5ba min. Not a bad price here in South Dakota.
2. We get high speed internet. The highest of the speeds.
3. He wants a suped up computer with scanner, for the job but also belongs to us upon ending the job.
4. $100 a month rent.
5. (Optional) $100/mo eating out budget, receipts available on request.

Rate me optimistic, but message me if this suits you lmao. (I know he's crazy)

 

[Noproblemo]

Find the most thug-life stereotypical black guy you can living right in the middle of comptom and offer him $500 a month to be your agent and resend any mail he gets for your LLC.

If these sheltered tranvestites even have the balls (or had, metaphorically, you get my point) to start some shit over the phone they are gonna get a fucking deluge of homophobia enough to trigger some of their made up disorders from not leaving the house for over a decade.

And if they are actually insane enough to go visit the guy they are gonna get stomped like in that video, and good luck getting any sympathy from the community for attacking a black guy in his home.

Joosh just has to hit up the Bloods and provide them a crackhouse in exchange for scanning his letters.

 

[The Demon]

This is like the horror movie trope "Your weird uncle's will leaves this mansion to you, but to claim it you must live there for an entire weekend". Except it's not a mansion nor a single weekend, and instead of ghosts or monsters you're dodging anthrax, troons and swattings.

well in that case, have it be wyoming so that you can legally defend yourself against a troon

 

[Dan Abrams]

You need a dumb but loyal 55 year old black guy to do this.

 

[Doseferatu]

Find the most thug-life stereotypical black guy you can living right in the middle of comptom and offer him $500 a month to be your agent and resend any mail he gets for your LLC.

If these sheltered tranvestites even have the balls (or had, metaphorically, you get my point) to start some shit over the phone they are gonna get a fucking deluge of homophobia enough to trigger some of their made up disorders from not leaving the house for over a decade.

And if they are actually insane enough to go visit the guy they are gonna get stomped like in that video, and good luck getting any sympathy from the community for attacking a black guy in his home.

Is this what you have envisioned?

 

[Muttley]

Kiwifarms first reality TV show.

get a bunch of retards to move in
and put them through a series of trials by degradation poorly disguised as competition, and whoever is the last retard standing gets the job

 

[dinnuffindu]

Here you go Null a crack shack the barest of minimums, you could probably mortgage it out for $800 a month SD has Castle and Stand your ground as well, I'll check Sioux Falls and Pierre and Pine Ridge Rez since I'm familiar the areas.

Here's another possible SD candidate

That's an auction, though, isn't it?

Here's a significantly nicer, as in legitimately livable, one for even less.

3408 11th Ave SW, Watertown, SD 57201 | realtor.com®

View 24 photos for 3408 11th Ave SW, Watertown, SD 57201, a 3 bed, 2 bath, 1,280 Sq. Ft. mobile home built in 1994 that was last sold on 06/14/2021.

www.realtor.com

Lot rent isn't cheap, and requires approval, which can be rescinded.

A note about South Dakota is "services" are taxed, and pretty much everything qualifies as a service. You're expected to get a sales tax license, do a yearly filing on that (it's separate from SOS) and having an LLC operating without receiving revenue's likely to get some local officials' buttholes puckering. If you have any doubts about how seriously SD is about leeching every penny it can, refer to South Dakota vs Wayfair Inc.

I'm not sure if any state now allows changing a name without publishing it, especially after RealID. Most require going to court, presenting a reason, and having your old and new one published (for multiple weeks), regardless of whether it's first or last.

Lots of frends keep referring to Null's list of states as shitholes. Combined with the "film them 24/7 inside and out so we can laugh at them" and it really incentivizes people to step up, doesn't it?

Also, in fantasy land, 'my dogs eat tr00ns lol', but in reality, "my dogs are euthanized, and I'm fined and serve jail time because a tr00n stuck its leg over the fence and was rightly bitten".

 

[SonnyLorenzo]

Hire Cobra. His black magic will keep the troons away.

Cobes could probably manage it if it's explained to him in great detail and if he gets a place cheaper then what hes in now where he can smoke and spray paint his wands indoors, And if he wasn't currently on a bender. The guy is a supporter for LGBTQ+. The troons will sense that and leave him alone.