And they're both right IF you take to heart the idea that nothing intrinsically means anything, that life is meaningless, and no one has a purpose.
I do not recommend it.
I'm gonna be autistic: most clothes have bo gender as long as their casual wear. Things that have gender? Cerimonial outfits. That's something to give meaning to and carry tradition on. Your unisex t-shirt for a band? Nah, that doesn't mean anything other than you love a band, and is as unisex as possible.
The other thing is clothes meant to conform around the body or emphasize certain anatomical structures. For example, safety gear doesn't usually have a gender... BUT it is sized for the user and certain tailoring styles allow better movement for different hip to waist and shoulder ratios. It's gendered in the fact that damn bitch, you can't use the 6ft 2" manhands model, you'll drown in it, here, I got you these smaller ones so you can actually do your job that you do well without being stuck under a mountain of fabric. Same with the reverse of a man ain't fitting into our dainty lady gloves perfect for small work, he needs dainty man sized gloves perfect for small work.
The other problem is when hons try to wear a shirt that is meant for a woman, or any human who's not a football player. Or an enby drowns in their own David Byrnes suit. Any asshole can wear a skirt or a shirt. Looking good in it is another story.
Anna "Ash" Kreider's gender is itchy.
"A little gender as a treat."
That's what muslim women think when they put on their hijabs too of course. Dipshit.
Non-binary is this magical status that provides asshole entitlements on an almost carte blanche basis.
I met "enby on the internet but she/her in real life" types who are just shy and awkward nerd women. Most online "enbies" know they don't pass as enby or know they don't live in a society where people don't assume man or woman. They're resigned to it and it's a relief compared to those who don't.
Those who are loud and proud IRL enby are the most obnoxious fuckers for the exact reasons you said. Jesus Christ, it's a cluster B control freak's dream.