Military Kiwis

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The Marine Corp had no use for gay ass frenchie berets.
 
I made two people ragequit in quake after I told them people who enrolled were dumb as fuck.

I also remember from facebook, military folks and their family/supporters really get angry easily over nothing.

It doesn't take much to see one thretening to come fuck you up. It's like they imagine having a uniform make them intimidating badasses.
 
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I have plenty of Navy stories.

One time a group of us were on liberty in Yokosuka. One of the guys was an SK named Johnson. Johnson was big burly black guy that held his alcohol about as well as a 13 year old girl at a frat party.

We were barhopping and wandered into a small bar late at night. By this time, Johnson could barely stand up. We were talking and drinking and a cute little Japanese bartender caught his eye.

"I'm gonna fuck the shit out of her" Johnson told us.

So he got up and stumbled over to her. He was a lot bigger then her, probably a foot and a half. He had her sort of pinned up against the wall while he babbled nonsense that I'm sure he thought was sweet talk. She didn't speak any English so she just sort of giggled. Eventually he got tired of that and whipped his cock out.

"Have you ever seen a black dick before?" He slurred to her and immediately started jerking off. After about 30 second of that he jizzed on her shirt, and we got the fuck out of there.
 
Doc Cassidy dijo:
I have plenty of Navy stories.

One time a group of us were on liberty in Yokosuka. One of the guys was an SK named Johnson. Johnson was big burly black guy that held his alcohol about as well as a 13 year old girl at a frat party.

We were barhopping and wandered into a small bar late at night. By this time, Johnson could barely stand up. We were talking and drinking and a cute little Japanese bartender caught his eye.

"I'm gonna fuck the shit out of her" Johnson told us.

So he got up and stumbled over to her. He was a lot bigger then her, probably a foot and a half. He had her sort of pinned up against the wall while he babbled nonsense that I'm sure he thought was sweet talk. She didn't speak any English so she just sort of giggled. Eventually he got tired of that and whipped his cock out.

"Have you ever seen a black dick before?" He slurred to her and immediately started jerking off. After about 30 second of that he jizzed on her shirt, and we got the fuck out of there.
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Holy shit,did he got in trouble?
 
Surtur dijo:
I had to fight this big Samoan dude in the Thunderdome. It ended badly for me.
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I had to fight a big black dude. Looked like fucking Mark Henry. Holy shit he beat my ass.


Anyway Brazil dude-
Infantry leads the way. Leads you right to the suck, try to get literally any other job since I didn't learn shit that I could apply in the real world. I know how to shoot guns and fix bradleys. That would be great stuff to know if anybody wanted to pay me to do either. I don't know how it works in Brazil, like if you get to pick your job, but try for being a mechanic or communications or some other technical thing that fits your interests. You don't want to finish your time in the service and realize you didn't learn a damn thing you can use to get a job.
 
Hyperion dijo:
I had to fight a big black dude. Looked like fucking Mark Henry. Holy shit he beat my ass.


Anyway Brazil dude-
Infantry leads the way. Leads you right to the suck, try to get literally any other job since I didn't learn shit that I could apply in the real world. I know how to shoot guns and fix bradleys. That would be great stuff to know if anybody wanted to pay me to do either. I don't know how it works in Brazil, like if you get to pick your job, but try for being a mechanic or communications or some other technical thing that fits your interests. You don't want to finish your time in the service and realize you didn't learn a damn thing you can use to get a job.
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Heh,i was thinking about applying to the military academy and become an officer,unless you fuck up royaly,you cant be fired from public service.
Also if you have been drafted when you got your job or college,you can keep them after you served.
 
Hyperion dijo:
Still though. I am proud to be Infantry. I answered a call that few would, and I did it well. My combat record is glorious. Where others would soil themselves and cry for mommy I advanced on the enemy. They had no chance.

Still doesn't get me a job though.

God damn if combat wasn't fun though. If they would let me stay in the warzone I would still be there, fighting, as I am meant to. Fuck the pay, Infantry fights for the pleasure of combat.
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That's pretty shitty you can't find a job. Not even the police will hire you? That's what most of the guys here getting out do
 
Lacquer Head dijo:
That's pretty shitty you can't find a job. Not even the police will hire you? That's what most of the guys here getting out do
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There is a reason I went to work at Wal-Mart after the military and I was an Avionics Technician.
 
Doc Cassidy dijo:
I have plenty of Navy stories.

One time a group of us were on liberty in Yokosuka. One of the guys was an SK named Johnson. Johnson was big burly black guy that held his alcohol about as well as a 13 year old girl at a frat party.

We were barhopping and wandered into a small bar late at night. By this time, Johnson could barely stand up. We were talking and drinking and a cute little Japanese bartender caught his eye.

"I'm gonna fuck the shit out of her" Johnson told us.

So he got up and stumbled over to her. He was a lot bigger then her, probably a foot and a half. He had her sort of pinned up against the wall while he babbled nonsense that I'm sure he thought was sweet talk. She didn't speak any English so she just sort of giggled. Eventually he got tired of that and whipped his cock out.

"Have you ever seen a black dick before?" He slurred to her and immediately started jerking off. After about 30 second of that he jizzed on her shirt, and we got the fuck out of there.
Presiona para expandir...

I have boundless respect for the brave servicemen who guard our freedoms and selflessly sacrifice for our safety
 
Got a few Basic stories, hell everyone has some of those.

  • Saw a dude get duct taped to his rack, and left there all day.
  • Hog tied several guys and left them in various parts of the company training area.
  • Fight Club was held after lights out every night.
  • Our company surprised the Drill Sergeants by re-enacting the bonfire scene from Jarhead while on FTX. After waiting ten minutes to see how badly we were fucked we heard them doing the same thing. They took us back to the CTA and never said a word about it.
  • Had a guy fumble a live grenade once. Nobody got hurt.
  • We were checking our pro-mask seals in the gas chamber when the dude next to me somehow made his mask explode. I looked over to see just the rubber mask itself with all of its components gone. The look of befuddlement on his face might've been the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.
Other than the above, my short-lived Infantry adventure was spent sweeping, mopping, and wishing I picked a different MOS.
 
lolwut dijo:
Got a few Basic stories, hell everyone has some of those.

  • Saw a dude get duct taped to his rack, and left there all day.
  • Hog tied several guys and left them in various parts of the company training area.
  • Fight Club was held after lights out every night.
  • Our company surprised the Drill Sergeants by re-enacting the bonfire scene from Jarhead while on FTX. After waiting ten minutes to see how badly we were fucked we heard them doing the same thing. They took us back to the CTA and never said a word about it.
  • Had a guy fumble a live grenade once. Nobody got hurt.
  • We were checking our pro-mask seals in the gas chamber when the dude next to me somehow made his mask explode. I looked over to see just the rubber mask itself with all of its components gone. The look of befuddlement on his face might've been the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.
Other than the above, my short-lived Infantry adventure was spent sweeping, mopping, and wishing I picked a different MOS.
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How the fuck did he make a mask explode? No seriously I want to know how he did that
 
A girl I've been interested in for years is currently in the process being assigned a carrier after graduating Nuclear Engineering. She is now fully certified and has graduated the 4 year engineering course in under 2 years. I'm really proud of her. But, after hearing her stories, there is not a fucking chance in hell I would ever join the United States armed forces. They put you through an insurmountable trial of bullshit to see how willing you are to put up with being screamed at and I'd tell them to fuck off and be kicked out on the first day. I'd be the first to desert during a draft, but I'd probably not even pass psych evals.

It just blows my mind how awfully they treat her. The shit they make her do. The rooms and people they put her with. The fact they make her do manual labor 7 days in a row for 10 hours a day followed by 1 day off after she just graduated the most intensive educational course in the entire world. And then they're going to put her on a boat where her chances of being raped are more significant than any other place in the world. Fuck that. Fuck all that noise. I've hated the military and its culture my entire life. I grew up near a base and never understood all the masturbation around the people with guns in camo. Not even your government gives a fuck about the service members, just look at out after-service mental health care if you want evidence of that.
 
Lacquer Head dijo:
How the fuck did he make a mask explode? No seriously I want to know how he did that
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Honestly, I have no idea. If I had to take a guess, the valve must've gotten stuck when he suctioned it to his face and so when he went to purge the gas it over pressurized and then...boom.

[E] I should add that our masks were older than dirt and most were clogged with it too. He probably wasn't actually getting any air through his filters.
 
Null dijo:
A girl I've been interested in for years is currently in the process being assigned a carrier after graduating Nuclear Engineering. She is now fully certified and has graduated the 4 year engineering course in under 2 years. I'm really proud of her. But, after hearing her stories, there is not a fucking chance in hell I would ever join the United States armed forces. They put you through an insurmountable trial of bullshit to see how willing you are to put up with being screamed at and I'd tell them to fuck off and be kicked out on the first day. I'd be the first to desert during a draft, but I'd probably not even pass psych evals.

It just blows my mind how awfully they treat her. The shit they make her do. The rooms and people they put her with. The fact they make her do manual labor 7 days in a row for 10 hours a day followed by 1 day off after she just graduated the most intensive educational course in the entire world. And then they're going to put her on a boat where her chances of being raped are more significant than any other place in the world. Fuck that. Fuck all that noise. I've hated the military and its culture my entire life. I grew up near a base and never understood all the masturbation around the people with guns in camo. Not even your government gives a fuck about the service members, just look at out after-service mental health care if you want evidence of that.
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Nobody forces you to sign up so you only have yourself to blame for it. I won't be re signing
 
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