The Tortoise and the Console A Tale of 2024 12 10 1 (a)
Short AI-narrated video about why the WiiU failed, where Matt claims it was entirely because it was 'rushed'. He then says two google employees (who he either made up, or is obsessed with and invented their involvement here—though I forgot to check their names against the women listed in the OP) compared its failure to the story of the tortoise and the hare. Really nothingburger video honestly.
EW POOR 2016 GIMICK 2024 BEST YEAR FOR ME & I DON'T CARE JUST BASIC (a)
One of those 360° videos, where Matt is represented by some sort of unity asset store-ass anime schoolgirl. He says he finally has his microphone so he can make videos again (previously having claimed he wasn't making videos because he was detoxing from the internet, because of harassment, and/or because of "glitches in the matrix"), and then right afterwards says he
actually wasn't making videos because his computer was broken. Who knows what the real reason was, at this point.
He then says this video will be about why 2024 was the best year for him. He claims that the background of this video is his old room, but he doesn't live there anymore, he's been "living in the woods" (probably not literal). He then claims he bought his old house, but he's "not flexing or anything". He was banned from his house, but now he owns the house, having bought it for $1 Million. He also "bought the whole company" and now "owns metaverse" (likely referring to Meta).
He once again claims that the noise in the background of his recording is because he's at a party. He then elaborates that the reason he said 2024 was the best year for him is because it's been "nothing but phenomenal", because "the random things that happened this year have been incredible". He changes the background of the video to another room, and then briefly remnisces about back when he only had 100 subscribers, pointing out that he has over 300 now and thanks his viewers for the milestone. He doesn't seem to be able to contact some of his family members anymore. He calls them narcissists.
He restates his fondness for his channel and describes it as "bipolar", referring to the way he bounces around from topic to topic. He talks a little about bullying he's recieved, mostly people calling him dumb/retarded. He then disparagingly refers to the year 2016 as "a gimmick", saying it was like the WiiU whereas this year was like the Switch (???????). He says his mom was worried that he was having a mental breakdown, but he says he's happier than ever. His mom was also telling him he's in debt, but actually, he bought Chase bank, so not anymore—in fact, they pay him, and advertise his company (referring to the fact it has a listing on Google Maps).
He expresses his amazement at how popular he's gotten and how well-known his brand has become, but seems to be referring more to his delusions of providing power to all of NYC, owning Chase, and collabing with Google, than he is to his actual (much more modest) following on the internet. He says (
probably jokingly?) that he's really smart due to drinking lots of Smart Water. He makes some vague reference to having been to some Google Event(s), and having enjoyed it because people there didn't treat him like a kid.
He said he wasn't getting much assistance from family so that's why he isolated himself ("japanese style", apparently?) and went into the woods, and that he's not telling [them] where he's going, but he'll give them clues, it's to a special place. His family is in debt and according to them he's also in debt and homeless, though he denies both counts... immediately followed by commenting that it's cold outside. He then mentions offhand that he's a 'chosen one', something he's talked about before and which seems like it'll be coming up again in his next couple of videos... he further elaborates that he's chosen by God.
He says that 2024 was the first time where he really had freedom of expression and could be himself, and be like a kid again—seemingly referring to the personal freedom coming from his joblessness(?) and homelessness. He says that going innawoods was the best decision he ever made. He says people might say "look at your room [referring to his old room serving as the video background], you had everything" but he brings up the (paraphrased) Thomas Jefferson quote "A government that gives you everything, can take it all away" (it should be noted that Jefferson wasn't the one who said this, though it *is* often misattributed to him) and says that his mom was an example of that. He says he loves her but she was never supportive of his interest in computers, especially in relation to his 'business'. He says he had to cut his parents off (though he still loves them), and that if his sister asked for help she would definitely get it whereas he wouldn't.
He ends off with a "story time" of how Mattolina LLC started, claiming he got a letter in the mail from Google ("like Harry Potter"). He says once again that he bought the house and his family are his debt slaves for eternity now, that the moral of the video is to escape the matrix and have fun, and that his website has been having problems but he'll try to fix them.
BASED ALERT
