Marvel Cinematic Universe

[dick brain]

I had seen the cast on paper already but this trailer was a real wakeup call for how absolutely dogshit the roster is now. You know it's fucking bad when they're playing Thor straight. I paused the trailer to try to figure out who was dressed like a fucking retard signifying that they're still all-in on undercutting any potential gravity with Whedon-Gunn bullshit and thought to myself "oh wow every character I didn't want to see again is in this shot" and the trailer immediately reminded me that no, there are even more characters I don't want to see but forgot existed because I didn't watch their bullshit in the first place. Remember Namor and Shang Chi? I sure fucking didn't. Might as well pull out Iron Fist while you're at it. Oh yeah and we're gonna forget all about Kang but we're keeping the stupid fucking TVA for some reason.

Also where is Dr. Strange? Where is Hulk? Where are the Guardians? Hell, where's Hawkeye? For that matter, where are Sentry and Captain Marvel and the Eternals? Did they all die in shit I didn't watch or forgot happened? Why is Thor assembling a team of objectively the weakest and worst the franchise has to offer? Hey, remember how you wasted Hercules on a joke? And Beta Ray Bill got relegated to an easter egg? What about Nova? How come we got the Guardians of the Galaxy complete with the Nova Corps and like half of Annihilation but you're just not going to bother with Nova ever? Are you planning on doing anything with Adam Warlock? What about Phyla Vell? You went through the trouble of introducing her, are you gonna let her be Quasar? I mean I know it would be confusing since you basically took her character and renamed her Carol Danvers already but like what was the point of introducing her if you're not going to use her, is she just the benchwarmer for when Brie Larson retires? I thought that's what the other two Marvels were for. What, you'll try every version of Captain Marvel except Mar Vell? Point being, why the fuck are you recruiting incompetent street level retards who can't fucking do anything to fight cosmic multiversal threats? For that matter, what happened to America Chavez, isn't that like her whole deal? Did you give up on that already or just forget?

Meanwhile it's all but confirmed that all the characters people are actually excited about are just going to get jobbed in the cold open, just like they did in Multiverse of Madness, a symbolic killing of the fans' desires, an attempt to kill them in our hearts and minds so they can be replaced by gay retards of color. As if to say, "Fuck you for wanting this."

I had started this post saying I'll probably watch it for free for the same reason I watched Thunderbolts for free -- that being that I hate most of these caracters and I wouldn't mind watching them get absolutely shit on -- but after thinking about it for more than a minute I already know that's not going to happen, they're going to make a mockery of all the characters I actually want to see and none of the characters I don't.

On the other hand, my friends have expressed interest in rewatching the Infinity Saga and it would be a fun experiment to watch Doomsday fresh off of Infinity War and see how little anything since has mattered. Also I know they're catching up to me in fatigue because we watched the Odyssey and they cheered when Ellen Page got harpooned so maybe we'll go to the theater and cheer whenever the "good guys" get fucked. If they don't deliver on that I'll just refund my ticket because god knows I don't want anything else it has to offer.

 

[Ultraman Orb Dark]

And why is a chubby normie with a pistol considered a superhero capable of fighting mutants with powers?

Reminds me of people making similar jokes about Black Widow practicing her marksman skills as if they'd be able to hurt Thanos.

You know it's fucking bad when they're playing Thor straight.

So much for Sam being the new leader of the Avengers.

 

[Flaggy but One]

I knew this clusterfuck was inevitable at some point ever since the leaks for endgame came out showing the aged and tired-looking OG avengers doing the bit from the first goddamn movie. Loki not being dead was the canary in the coalmine that after Endgame they'd be desperately chasing that high with nothing new or sensible to back it up.

Hemsworth, RDJ, Evans and Hiddleston are gonna be on Marvel's payroll forever. I'm hugely skeptical Patrick Stewart or Ian Mckellan will be more than cameo memberberries.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

I knew this clusterfuck was inevitable at some point ever since the leaks for endgame came out showing the aged and tired-looking OG avengers doing the bit from the first goddamn movie. Loki not being dead was the canary in the coalmine that after Endgame they'd be desperately chasing that high with nothing new or sensible to back it up.
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Hemsworth, RDJ, Evans and Hiddleston are gonna be on Marvel's payroll forever. I'm hugely skeptical Patrick Stewart or Ian Mckellan will be more than cameo memberberries.

iirc PatStew was asking "lol fuck you pay me" money going back to X-Men 2 or so when he found out he could get a couple of extra digits giving a speech at a blue screen while sitting down instead of the trek bullshit of having to stand up

 

[The Paleblood Vessel]

I feel like there was untapped potential within the timeskip between Infinity War and Endgame. I really would have been interested to see what happened right after the snap, like imagine the real world ramifications of it.

The fact that this has never been shown is absolutely infuriating. Just look at the end of Infinity War where cars and motorcycles start crashing in the streets because their drivers are dusted, helicopters fly right into skyscrapers because their pilots are gone, people are legitimately panicking running away from a force that they can't see or stunlocked barely registering what the fuck is even happening because they just saw someone disintegrate in front of them out of nowhere. This is within the first MINUTES of the snap, the period of time that follows after would inevitably follow through the stages of grief of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and Depression. But we get to Endgame, we see that they never moved to Acceptance. Trash is either lining the streets because nobody cares to pick it up or is just thrown into storage with a bunch of other shit like Ant Man's van that people might legitimately own. Cars are opened up and ruined, their parts presumably taken. The kid from Avatar just stares daggers at Ant Man when he asks what happened, his emotional state carrying the burdens of growing up in this chaotic time period. Literal hundreds of memorials constructed in San Francisco alone with people still visiting daily, unable to move on from the past, and support groups for people to talk to each other about their despair. Even the heroes people are to look up to aren't immune, Thor is a despondent drunk over his failure to save the Universe and avenge his brother and his people, Hawkeye wanders the world executing criminals in the grief he carries over his family's loss and the anger that these fucks survived, Steve is in charge of these support groups but is trying to hide the fact that he himself is unable to move on. It is an apocalyptic world in which the death is not just physical due to the snap, but in the mind.

And that is why we will never get anything that actually takes place during those 5 years. Marvel will never have the balls to actually address head on those types of things outside of mere allusions, the absolute manic chaos and depression to follow would be impossible for them to handle well. You will only get references to that 5 year gap, and potentially unfunny gags as well given how this is Marvel. It is something that is ripe for storytelling but you will never get literally any of it.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

Hell, where's Hawkeye?

In fairness didn’t Jeremy Renner essentially retire after nearly being killed by his own snowplow? At least it gives them a reason to not have Hawkeye show up.

Especially when they can push Kate Bishop like they would anyway. Again, we are REALLY scrapping the bottom of the barrel with Marvel characters and it shows…

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

The fact that this has never been shown is absolutely infuriating.

yeah even if it was just like, a ten episode miniseries of "Snapshots Of The Snap" or something spotlighting how it affected various people
really the single biggest criticism of the MCU is leaving this on the table in favor of more "and then a guy punches a guy"
I get this is capeshit at the end of the day but this could have been REALLY great
soandso villain thinks this was because soandso hero but then they realize sidekick is dead on both sides on they cry it out, that even fits with gay therapy session modern capeshit

 

[crunchy bits are the best]

So much for Sam being the new leader of the Avengers.

Nigger Cap seems to be not working post Endgame. If I'm not mistaken in the comics, the real deal returned. Wish that also happened post Endgame as well.

 

[Prehistoric Jazz]

Apologies if this has been answered already, but at the end of one of the movies, an older Cap shows up and gives the shield to Sam. So... at that time, were they trying to get across that that was the original Captain America, who lived a life with his love in the alternate universe, then came back as a senior to give the shield back, then left again?

And Sam never once told the rest of them where he got the shield? Or did he tell them and Thor thought they'd never see the Steve they fought beside again? I'm a little confused as to why he seems like he thought Cap died or something.

 

[dick brain]

Apologies if this has been answered already, but at the end of one of the movies, an older Cap shows up and gives the shield to Sam. So... at that time, were they trying to get across that that was the original Captain America, who lived a life with his love in the alternate universe, then came back as a senior to give the shield back, then left again?

And Sam never once told the rest of them where he got the shield? Or did he tell them and Thor thought they'd never see the Steve they fought beside again? I'm a little confused as to why he seems like he thought Cap died or something.

The short version is that Endgame is fucking retarded and nobody knows how the time/dimensional travel works because the filmmakers don't even agree on how the time/dimensional travel works and contradict themselves within just that film alone and then go on to contradict and complicate and convolute everything with every subsequent reference to it because they suck.

 

[The Paleblood Vessel]

Apologies if this has been answered already, but at the end of one of the movies, an older Cap shows up and gives the shield to Sam. So... at that time, were they trying to get across that that was the original Captain America, who lived a life with his love in the alternate universe, then came back as a senior to give the shield back, then left again?

And Sam never once told the rest of them where he got the shield? Or did he tell them and Thor thought they'd never see the Steve they fought beside again? I'm a little confused as to why he seems like he thought Cap died or something.

How it was 1 year ago: Cap goes back in time to return the stones and Mjolnir in Endgame, travels again to live the rest of his life with Peggy Carter and not change anything like JFK's assassination, the death of Tony's parents (which would result in reuniting with Bucky sooner), or 9/11, goes to the forest where he gives the shield he acquired at some point between 1945 and 2023 to Sam and makes him the new Captain America, which he would fail miserably to live up to that mantle in Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Brave New World.

How it is now: Cap goes back in time to return the stones and Mjolnir, travels again to live the rest of his live with Peggy Carter where he has a kid, but not too long after that travels in time to the present so we can have the events of Avengers Doomsday and Secret Wars, he presumably time travels back to the past to continue living with Peggy and once again say literally nothing about any future disasters, goes to the forest where he gives the shield he acquired at some point between 1945 and 2023 to Sam and makes him the new Captain America, which he would fail miserably to live up to that mantle in Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Brave New World before encountering the time displaced Cap in Doomsday and Secret Wars.

So when he said that he wouldn't tell Sam what happened with Peggy, this is now made to also reference the fact that he would refuse to tell him about the future threat of Doctor Doom, something that probably would have been very helpful to him and other people in the superhero jig.

 

[Ultraman Orb Dark]

And Sam never once told the rest of them where he got the shield?

What I want to know is how they fixed it after Thanos broke it. Did T'Challa loan some vibranium?

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

The short version is that Endgame is fucking retarded and nobody knows how the time/dimensional travel works because the filmmakers don't even agree on how the time/dimensional travel works and contradict themselves within just that film alone and then go on to contradict and complicate and convolute everything with every subsequent reference to it because they suck.

it wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't have bothered to spell out in pop culture terms exactly how this time travel was supposed to work appx an hour before shitting all over that exact explanation

 

[NeonFlux]

Unpopular Opinion Time:

No Family, child, or manchild gives a fuck if your capeshit movie doesn't make any since. They just want to see their favorite characters on scene fighting and if the story follows the basic hero's journey shit, they're fine with it. They don't care, No one cares about the comic book you read 30-40 years ago.

I pirated Daredevil season 1 and 2 as well as X-Men 97 season 1 and I'm half way through season 2. I went in not giving a fuck because modern writers suck so theres no point in caring. I'm only upset that the punisher only had 5 minutes of screen time.

Punisher: one last kill sucked.

Supergirl failed because traditionally shit like batgirl, supergirl, or any other female led media is ignored, it didn't help that the writing is shit.

I want to see the Avengers fight the X-men even if it doesn't make any sense.

No, I don't give a shit if the movie likely has an infinity war style ending and "secret wars" is likely just Endgame again.

I want to see tobey spider-man fight deadpool and hugh Jackman wolverine.

Again, I pirate every form of media I consoom so I'm doing my part anyways. Fuck Hollywood.

Also you're right, Xavier and Magneto are likely 5 minute cameos which sucks nigger cock.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

Unpopular Opinion Time:

No Family, child, or manchild gives a fuck if your capeshit movie doesn't make any since. They just want to see their favorite characters on scene fighting and if the story follows the basic hero's journey shit,

yeah most capeshits of the past decade or so have sucked ass even to the normies and only barely break even through pedowood accounting, you're right

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Where are people getting these budget numbers from? I've seen the figure creep up from 500 million, to "2 billion for break even" which is getting a bit silly.

Endgame Officially cost 400 Million, 500 Million is a fucking lowball IMO.

 

[crunchy bits are the best]

Let's be honest, did anyone here cared about the characters who aren't the OG Cap, Iron Man, Hulk, etc. post Endgame?

 

[East_Clintwood]

The fact that this has never been shown is absolutely infuriating.

I absolutely agree that the immediate post snap environment has amazing potential for storylines. However unlike you I'm kinda glad Marvel hasn't tried to explore it because they would absolutely fuck it right up.
Does anyone really want to see the studio that turns everything into le quirky Whedon quips, that gave us shit like Wandavision's "They'll never know what you sacrificed for them" or She-Hulk's "I'm great at controlling my anger" try tackling something like the post snap shitshow?

 

[Powerhouse of the Cell]

I absolutely agree that the immediate post snap environment has amazing potential for storylines. However unlike you I'm kinda glad Marvel hasn't tried to explore it because they would absolutely fuck it right up.
Does anyone really want to see the studio that turns everything into le quirky Whedon quips, that gave us shit like Wandavision's "They'll never know what you sacrificed for them" or She-Hulk's "I'm great at controlling my anger" try tackling something like the post snap shitshow?

Yeah, doing that would end up to big and ambitious than what they can handle. We already know how bad they are going to fuck up Doomsday with how big and ambitious the movie is supposed to be. The only thing good about this trailer, is how Robert Downey Jr sounds doing Dr. Doom's accent. But otherwise, it sucks.

It needs to fail, they deserve it.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

Let's be honest, did anyone here cared about the characters who aren't the OG Cap, Iron Man, Hulk, etc. post Endgame?

I have actively avoided his portrayal in MCU but I have been a big fucking nerd for Adam Warlock since I was old enough to demand to grow my hair out like a filthy hippy (and only maybe a little bit like Adam Warlock)

Robert Downey Jr sounds doing Dr. Doom's accent

ngl I will overlook a ton of shit if Downey drops a real fucking DOOM