Marvel Cinematic Universe

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That Kang Dynasty script is worth reading for the dialogue in the Jamaican/Gen Z Kang Variant scene alone (I refuse to highlight it; and instead encourage all to read the entire thing, from beginning to end).

In fact, nearly every "Marvel quip" moment intended to add levity to a story impossible to take seriously is a lesson in "how not to write." That whole script is such a fever dream parody of how shit the writing for Disney tentpole films are that I can't decide which, between being real or fake, makes for the funnier parody.
 
I read the whole script and sadly it’s believable

Love (thors daughter) says it’s Kang Bang time. The lack of taking things serious just sounds so marvel

I think the tl;dr is:
- fox characters are sacrificed in the intro and the kang’s say the blood of mutants will lead to them taking over everything and it’s never mentioned again
- spiderman and miles doing New York stuff, black characters doing wakanda stuff, Shang chi and Kamala stressed because their powers are what the jangs want
- the kang’s are like huge astral projections who shit talk earth before their spaceships teleport in and destroy city after city (except wakanda)
- three avengers team’s (space team, diversion team going through multiverse, street level team assaulting DC where the kangs are building a tower
- most avengers die
- the world leaders get Nick fury to release adamantium sentinels
- the rings and bangle get taken from Shang chi and Kamala to become a sphere capable of ending the war (it’s what ended the first multiversal war)
- the TVA and fantastic four are building the ark this time and some survivors are spiderman, deadpool and Wolverine, Nic cage ghost rider and the FF and it ends with them seeing battleworld

- the whole kang deal is that after quantamania, he’s stuck in a void where the probability storm keeps making clones of him that troll him. He gets mad and absorbs them to become the beyonder. His motivation is ravonna and his child and wants to see them again. So he uses his powers to escape the void and goes to where Loki is to fight the other kangs. Loki manages to appeal to his emotion and that’s how battleworld is formed. A few of the timelines that Loki was holding are decaying to dust and they get combined to one world


It felt real to me. Cringe character dialog, not taking world ending events seriously, meaningless cameos, just one long excuse to go from setpiece to setpiece. Plus nearly all the main characters are women or diversity

If doomsday is retooled from this, fuck
 
In fact, nearly every "Marvel quip" moment intended to add levity to a story impossible to take seriously is a lesson in "how not to write."
Marvel movies ruined quipping because you hear the term "quip" and instead of picturing a funny pre-mortem one-liner like in a 1980s action movie, you just think of a dozen actors in unconvincing CGI suits stumbling over one another in a desperate attempt to be The Funny One™, and scripts written by people who think numerous minor variations on "so, we're doing THIS again" and :record scratch: "awwwkwaaaard" kind of lines are the height of humor.
 
"I understood that reference" was funny and ironically, it became the mold for the subsequent "humor" that tried to force more references to "understand" and was never that funny.

It works for Deadpool because he's campy and obvious about it.

The whole scene with the avengers trying to lift the hammer was funny because it showed them being casual and familiar and then the scene had a payoff that was equally cool and funny. They haven't been able to repeat it.
 
"I understood that reference" was funny and ironically, it became the mold for the subsequent "humor" that tried to force more references to "understand" and was never that funny.

It works for Deadpool because he's campy and obvious about it.

The whole scene with the avengers trying to lift the hammer was funny because it showed them being casual and familiar and then the scene had a payoff that was equally cool and funny. They haven't been able to repeat it.
"I understood that reference" was funny because it was Cap saying it, someone who had been frozen and missing for decades and only recently got thawed out, the humor coming from the fact that you wouldn't expect him to get a contemporary reference. It's not funny at all if the average person points out they got it because of course they would, but modern writers are stupid and don't understand why they can't just keep aping things that really only worked in a specific context.
 
I read the whole script and sadly it’s believable
Taking one for the team, taken to a new level! I read the beginning and skipped around a bit. You are the Antman to my Antman: Quantumania.

Love (thors daughter) says it’s Kang Bang time.
Uh, what rating is this movie?

I think the tl;dr is:
- fox characters are sacrificed in the intro and the kang’s say the blood of mutants will lead to them taking over everything and it’s never mentioned again
Seriously? I read the opening but they never come up again? Wow - what the opposite of Chekov's Gun?

- spiderman and miles doing New York stuff, black characters doing wakanda stuff, Shang chi and Kamala stressed because their powers are what the jangs want
At the end of the Ms. Marvel series (and I pity the actress the movies because her series was actually good) it's revealed that it's not all about her bangles. Her friend finds a "mutation" in her DNA and then the X-Men theme plays in the background. I guess they may drop that.
- the world leaders get Nick fury to release adamantium sentinels
Sentinels in a world without mutants / X-men? Bit weird.

- the TVA and fantastic four are building the ark this time and some survivors are spiderman, deadpool and Wolverine, Nic cage ghost rider and the FF and it ends with them seeing battleworld
Because of course - forget plot or emotion - shove cameos in there. Must trigger the dopamine hit of recognition.

It felt real to me. Cringe character dialog, not taking world ending events seriously, meaningless cameos, just one long excuse to go from setpiece to setpiece. Plus nearly all the main characters are women or diversity

If doomsday is retooled from this, fuck
It's almost certain that they are making Doom an alternative universe Tony Stark, based on RDJ's return and some comments about "nobody else could play this part".

Which will be an absolute travesty of the character in so many ways. Maybe I'll list them if confirmed.

"I understood that reference" was funny because it was Cap saying it, someone who had been frozen and missing for decades and only recently got thawed out, the humor coming from the fact that you wouldn't expect him to get a contemporary reference. It's not funny at all if the average person points out they got it because of course they would, but modern writers are stupid and don't understand why they can't just keep aping things that really only worked in a specific context.
It's also well delivered by Chris Evans and not hammered home.

My go to example in that movie would actually be a different exchange. Where they're all getting in each other's faces and Cap says to Tony: "Big man in a suit of armour. Take that away and what are you?" To which Stark replies: "Billionaire, philanthropist genius playboy" (or something like that).

This works great because it adds to the tension, it's a believably antagonistic and snappy response from Stark and most especially, because it shows a difference between Cap and Iron Man. This is a thing that Iron Man would say and which Cap would not (or should not) and there's a friction between the two from that.
 
"I understood that reference" was funny because it was Cap saying it, someone who had been frozen and missing for decades and only recently got thawed out, the humor coming from the fact that you wouldn't expect him to get a contemporary reference. It's not funny at all if the average person points out they got it because of course they would, but modern writers are stupid and don't understand why they can't just keep aping things that really only worked in a specific context.
They tried to repeat it in Black Captain and Bucky and you can tell that they didn't understood how the delivery works:

Capt.
"He wants to turn them into their flying monkeys"
"Their what?"
"I understood that reference"

Black Capt.
"We're gonna fight one of the big three"
"The what?"
"We always fight one of three, aliens, monsters, or wizards"
"That's not a thing"
"Yes, it is. This time a wizard"
"Like Gandalf?"
"You know Gandalf?"
"I read it in 1937 when it was first published"
"There are no wizards"
"Strange is a wizard"
"He's a sorcerer"
"A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat"

First one is about Captain being clueless, yet good intentioned, to show he was once a man beyond the super soldier.

Second one is about how smart the writer is.
 
They tried to repeat it in Black Captain and Bucky and you can tell that they didn't understood how the delivery works:

Capt.
"He wants to turn them into their flying monkeys"
"Their what?"
"I understood that reference"

Black Capt.
"We're gonna fight one of the big three"
"The what?"
"We always fight one of three, aliens, monsters, or wizards"
"That's not a thing"
"Yes, it is. This time a wizard"
"Like Gandalf?"
"You know Gandalf?"
"I read it in 1937 when it was first published"
"There are no wizards"
"Strange is a wizard"
"He's a sorcerer"
"A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat"

First one is about Captain being clueless, yet good intentioned, to show he was once a man beyond the super soldier.

Second one is about how smart the writer is.
There's an episode of the show Legends of Tomorrow with a similar "I was alive in the 30s" gag that pulls it off better.

Amaya: I never got to see the end of "The Wizard of Oz" though.

Nate: You got freaked out by the flying monkeys too, huh?

Amaya: No, Hitler invaded Poland, and the JSA had to ship out to Europe.

Nate: ... Hitler ruins everything.
 
Black Capt.
"We're gonna fight one of the big three"
"The what?"
"We always fight one of three, aliens, monsters, or wizards"
"That's not a thing"
"Yes, it is. This time a wizard"
"Like Gandalf?"
"You know Gandalf?"
"I read it in 1937 when it was first published"
"There are no wizards"
"Strange is a wizard"
"He's a sorcerer"
"A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat"

The writer thought "A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat" was funny and decided to spend ten lines of dialogue to get to it. Figures.

There's an episode of the show Legends of Tomorrow with a similar "I was alive in the 30s" gag that pulls it off better.

Amaya: I never got to see the end of "The Wizard of Oz" though.

Nate: You got freaked out by the flying monkeys too, huh?

Amaya: No, Hitler invaded Poland, and the JSA had to ship out to Europe.

Nate: ... Hitler ruins everything.
For such a dumb show, it was pretty good. My favorite line is shorter. It's Damian Dark shouting "Brexit!" as he sends John Constantine flying into a wall.
 
They tried to repeat it in Black Captain and Bucky and you can tell that they didn't understood how the delivery works:

Capt.
"He wants to turn them into their flying monkeys"
"Their what?"
"I understood that reference"

Black Capt.
"We're gonna fight one of the big three"
"The what?"
"We always fight one of three, aliens, monsters, or wizards"
"That's not a thing"
"Yes, it is. This time a wizard"
"Like Gandalf?"
"You know Gandalf?"
"I read it in 1937 when it was first published"
"There are no wizards"
"Strange is a wizard"
"He's a sorcerer"
"A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat"

First one is about Captain being clueless, yet good intentioned, to show he was once a man beyond the super soldier.

Second one is about how smart the writer is.
I actually like the Hobbit part. Not the rest, but that bit, and Bucky's delivery of it, I enjoyed.
 
The writer thought "A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat" was funny and decided to spend ten lines of dialogue to get to it. Figures.


For such a dumb show, it was pretty good. My favorite line is shorter. It's Damian Dark shouting "Brexit!" as he sends John Constantine flying into a wall.
I think what makes that show's humor work where the MCU fails is that it isn't afraid to get goofy. It doesn't make jokes pointing out how weird it is.
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For such a dumb show, it was pretty good. My favorite line is shorter. It's Damian Dark shouting "Brexit!" as he sends John Constantine flying into a wall.
I can't defend Legends Season 1..or anything past season 4...but there was a bit where Legends was a surprisingly entertaining show with fun characters interacting in fun ways.
 
Sentinels in a world without mutants / X-men? Bit weird.
The concept isn't weird when done right, as sentinels were also used against nonmutant superheros and humans who sided with mutants, neutrals and those opposed to whoever using the sentinels. Granted damn near all of that have been mostly restricted to the mutant / X-Men titles showing various alternate dark futures. Although it is extremely rare, sentinels have shown up in "present" time to grief nonmutant superheroes like Spider-Man for one reason or another.
 
I suck at quoting, but the sentinels in the script are some sort of “gift” from Ross

The world leaders know about them and it’s mentioned they are like Pandora’s box (I’m guessing because they are so strong). They pretty much just do nothing interesting though, they just get activated and then go start hitting the shields of the main spaceship

If it was real, they intended to film one scene where pepper and happy hogan feel sad and then burn to death. A waste of a scene, time of actors, etc

That’s what this script feels like. Just a few hours of “I hope you feel sad” while most of the non white characters quip and try and save the day

This is the team composition for the main battles too:
IMG_3394.jpeg
 
I can't defend Legends Season 1..or anything past season 4...but there was a bit where Legends was a surprisingly entertaining show with fun characters interacting in fun ways.
Pretty much from the beginning, Legends pissed me off so much that it ruined even the other shows in that shared universe, which I was actually enjoying at the time (I've heard they pretty much all went to shit later anyway, so good riddance). But every single character in Legends was just an unlikable asshole. That can work, but I felt like were trying to do a GotG thing with lovable assholes who have a heart of gold... But Legends of Tomorrow was not at all that... They were all just assholes. I particularly remember hating the dyke.
 
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