✨ Celebrity Madonna - elderly woman mired in existential crisis.

[Tombigbee]

Madge's latest trip to NY. Compare and contrast the Madonnaclaws when her hands are prominent and when they're... err... not.

(Hello btw. I'm actually a huge Madonna fan but love nothing more than to shitpost about her for my own cruel amusement.)
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I don’t necessarily hate on Madonna for little nods to vanity like that. She’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.

However, her overall trajectory and aesthetic is abysmal and does qualify her for lolcow status.

 

[GhostButt]

Her pussy was so bad it killed crypto.

 

[Constellationzero]

I had to read this, so do you guys

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Substitute this for all the times she went to Apefrica and purchased another niglet and this hits different.

 

[Tombigbee]

I thought this old interview snippet was interesting in hindsight. Inky, Binky, and Twinky sound delightful and would have been better than random ratchet adoptees from Malawi. Seemed like Ruby foresaw that mental instability was in Madonna’s future…

Spoiler

Ruby: I guess it’s important what you look like, when you are…whatever you are…’I am what I am’

Madonna: A creamy smooth pop icon goddess?

Ruby: Is that what it is?

Madonna: Yes.

Ruby: Once those [double] chins show you’ll be much funnier…

Madonna: Okay! Okay! Well can I just get in to the glamour aspect right now? And be funny later in my old age?

Ruby: Ok but let go really. I’d be so happy if we just got one really lousy angle.

Madonna: No!

Ruby: And I’d say, ‘Now that’s funny!’ That’s comedy. It’s true, it’s comedy.

Madonna: [begrudgingly] Alright.

Ruby: And you can have a much longer career. Because—

Madonna: Can’t I be funny and pretty?

Ruby: Nobody’s ever done it.

Madonna: That’s not true.

Ruby: Who? Who?

Madonna: Lucille Ball was pretty…

Ruby: Yeah, for how long? Fifteen minutes?

Madonna: A couple of minutes. [laughs]

Ruby: Anyway you don’t have to be pretty, you’re talented.

Madonna: Okay! Fine. Thank you.

Ruby: Yeah. Okay. Now let’s….

Madonna: But I’m in Paris in the Ritz Hotel and I want to be pretty.

Ruby: But what happens when you’re not pretty? [trying to reassure] It’s not gonna happen! It’s not gonna happen!

Madonna: Then I start telling a lot of jokes!

Ruby: [laughs]. Then you’re in Vegas. [imitates Vegas crooner] Daht-da-da-da. Remember her?

Madonna: Then I dye my hair red and I wear it in curlers all the time. I walk around in my housecoat and my floppy slippers. [laughs] And I scream at animals.

Ruby: So you’re still fighting to keep this body, this great piece of machinery?

Madonna: Everyday is a struggle.

Ruby: it must be getting much harder.

Madonna: It is, it really is. I walk with a cane to my gym now.

Ruby: You will be on a walker soon. With just a photo of what you used to look like pasted on your forehead.

Madonna: [fake laughter]. Excellent!

Ruby: That’ll be the end. That’s my suggestion. No. I think you have a long time to go. What do you think is coming, like in the next few years? I always predict….

Madonna: Some more wrinkles.

Ruby: Yeah. I mean, I know you want to have kids but you have to really kiss goodbye to that stomach.

Madonna? You do?

Ruby: Seriously, kiss it goodbye. Because it’s flat now. And it’s hard now. I already picture the stretch marks will be on your socks.

Madonna: Excellent.

Ruby: You really have to give glamour the heave ho. I mean, that’s where you let go of all dignity. I think maybe that will be the push that pushes you out of the right lighting. Once your pregnant and the ankles are the size of your thighs.

Madonna: Hmmm that’s something to look forward to.

Ruby: You really want kids?

Madonna: Yeah. Definitely. I wish all three of them were sitting on the bed with us right now.

Ruby: I was gonna do that! I was gonna give you my youngest daughter because I thought you could give her a better life!

Madonna: I couldn’t breast feed though!

Ruby: Get the lighting in the wrong position, show those chins, be funny, and then get out there and be talented.

Madonna: Warren used to say that actually.

Ruby: And why didn’t you listen?

Madonna: Cause he was always in my light. Cause he was always hogging the good light.

Ruby: But you know what the problem is too is…you’re still beautiful. The minute the looks go anyway - I mean these things all kind of readjust anyway.

Madonna: We’ll, I’ll adapt to it.

Ruby: Yeah you will. I think you will. You don’t think you’ll go nuts [do you]? I mean, you’re too smart.

Madonna: No because I’ll have Inky, Binky, and Twinky to play with!

Interview with Ruby Wax

 

[formerfatcow]

 

[PBR Streetgang]

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Spoiler

 

[Madonna_Claws]

I don’t necessarily hate on Madonna for little nods to vanity like that. She’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.

However, her overall trajectory and aesthetic is abysmal and does qualify her for lolcow status.

Me neither to be honest. It's just if you're going to smoothe out the hands make sure you do all the pictures, otherwise people like me who immediately look at such pictures specifically for signs of aged Madonnaclaws *will* snark.

Agree her current aesthetic sucks. Cheap and trashy - I know you can say that about Madonna throughout her entire career but there's something increasibgly desperate and embarrassing about it now. Us original fans are pushing 50, we don't give a shit about the latest 'down wiv da kidz' trends. Stop believing 20yo's are into you and hang on your every word - they don't care.

 

[Tombigbee]

This shit here is illustrative. Is Madonna older? Yeah. Is that why she’s a lolcow? No. Michael Jackson at is gaudy degenerate worst had better fashion sense than this.



Madonna is holding her father’s arms down so he doesn’t start self harming after seeing his “grandchildren.”

 

[Iron Hamster]

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The kid on the right is 'let me the fuck outta here' and the girl on the left is all 'I witchu'

 

[Elysian]

This reboot of Death Becomes Her has some pretty realistic CGI

 

[Colonel Gaddafi]

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This shit here is illustrative. Is Madonna older? Yeah. Is that why she’s a lolcow? No. Michael Jackson at is gaudy degenerate worst had better fashion sense than this.

It’s actually a traditional Berber headdress.

There was a hot minute where she fancied herself a Berber princess or something. Not really sure what her fascination with our North African culture was at that point, considering she seems to favor the non-white Africans substantially more.

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

I don’t necessarily hate on Madonna for little nods to vanity like that. She’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.

However, her overall trajectory and aesthetic is abysmal and does qualify her for lolcow status.

It's not her plastic surgery or vanity that make her a cow, it's that she's all so very serious about it. Dolly Parton and Cher are just as plastic and still legends.

 

[Tombigbee]

 

[Dovahshit]

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it just looks like she got a cavity or smth

 

[Tombigbee]

I guess (her former publicist) Liz Rosenberg really reeled her in because she’s been acting retarded for a long time now. She makes so many cringe comments, in rapid succession.

I imagine she keeps appearing on Jimmy Fallon as he’s such a kiss ass and so unthreatening. Imagine if she’d been acting this stupid on Letterman back in the day? One deadpan look at the audience from Dave would communicate how out of pocket she is.

The grills give her a pronounced lisp, her hip hop pants or whatever make her look like a clown. I dunno, I just dont get why she’s been so ratchet looking for so many years now. The crazy accessories, the butt implant, the hip hop affectations, the grills, the constant syphilic and Tourette’s-like sexual innuendo. It really does suggest there’s drug and/or mental issues at play.

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

Imagine if she’d been acting this stupid on Letterman back in the day?

Umm…what?

 

[Tombigbee]

Umm…what?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KXtZOGF-Hj0

She’s outrageous and obnoxious with Dave, not stupid. She’s openly hostile and combative, with Dave and with the audience. She (arguably) looks somewhat cool. Also, she actually is high. There was a subversive element circa 1994 to hint at lesbianism (“I thought you were going to ask me if I have a girlfriend…”) and to be talking openly about fucking blacks. (Charles Barkley, etc.).

With Jimmy she’s wearing clothes that make her look like a ridiculous tryhard fool, her speech sounds idiotic because she has a grill in her mouth and she’s literally lisping. One isn’t sure if she’s high or just retarded. Her attempts at being outré are clumsy, pandering, and lame: Kissing black/minority butt and being a degenerate whore are par for the course now. No one curr, Madame X.

I guess it’s safe to say (especially given hindsight) she sucks in both incarnations, but I’d take 1994 Madonna over this desperate has-been and Kardashian clone.

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

She’s outrageous and obnoxious with Dave, not stupid. She’s openly hostile and combative, with Dave and with the audience. She (arguably) looks somewhat cool. Also, she actually is high. There was a subversive element circa 1994 to hint at lesbianism (“I thought you were going to ask me if I have a girlfriend…”) and to be talking openly about fucking blacks. (Charles Barkley, etc.).

With Jimmy she’s wearing clothes that make her look like a ridiculous tryhard fool, her speech sounds idiotic because she has a grill in her mouth and she’s literally lisping. One isn’t sure if she’s high or just retarded. Her attempts at being outré are clumsy, pandering, and lame: Kissing black/minority butt and being a degenerate whore are par for the course now. No one curr, Madame X.

I guess it’s safe to say (especially given hindsight) she sucks in both incarnations, but I’d take 1994 Madonna over this desperate has-been and Kardashian clone.

Oh okay, I wasn’t sure when reading your other post if you had seen the ‘94 shit show. I agree, back then that was at least edgy. TBH, I’ve avoided the Jimmy clips because I can’t stand Fallon, but I’ll take a look because I’m now curious as to just how stupid she looks.

 

[Cow-Lovin' Fool]

I guarantee as soon as Asians become the cool minority we WILL see the arc where she gets the eyelid surgery.

 

[Vingle]

One isn’t sure if she’s high or just retarded.

Both. Grandma need her strong pain meds.