💰 Grifter "Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

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Fly fishing is awesome, but if you just want to catch fish, bait fishing in the southeast with crickets is much easier.

Let the impaled cricket do all the work for you.
 
The only fishing I ever really enjoy is fishing excursions off the Gulf coast. Guaranteed catches with a good guide and you actually get to take home really good eating fish like Red snapper and king mackerels.
 
like a few times? not enough to know how to do it on my own successfully 25 years later? i understand the fucking perspective of putting a fucking hook in the water mate, it's not a complex concept.

and yes I expect people not to give me terrible advice all the fucking time

any further inquiries on how profoundly insane it is I am not catching fish?
There is a Fishing Thread, its nearly dead but it exists. I dont think anyone there would intentionally give you bad fishing advice. Thats more of tournament/in person meme. The problem is each different kind of fish have different techniques that work best for each species or group of species. And each region of the country can has different and unique kinds of fish with different behaviors and patterns. You also have to find spots, you need to know where the fish are at or how to find them. And thats not even getting into the differences between rivers and lakes or fresh and salt water. Thats not to say that there arent overarching skills that apply to most types of fishing, but its not like Stardew Valley where you just throw a random lure on and toss it in the water and expect to catch fish.

Take for example, Largemouth Bass in my region of the country are currently at the tail end of their spawning period, meaning the larger females are in deeper water or tight to cover recovering from spawning, while the males are fiercely guarding the brood/fry. The females dont want to be bothered they just laid thousands of eggs. Meaning youre going to want to throw something like a spinnerbait, swimbait, crankbait or jerkbait at those males that are still shallow and playing bodyguard for their young. Those baits with their vibration and movements are going to cause them to instinctually strike these lures to defend their young rather than because theyre hungry or want to eat.

Fishing is deceptively complicated, and it takes a lot of practice and time to become competent at, and even then whether you catch fish or not is at least half in part to luck. It is the glass onion of hobbies. Ill put it this way, professional bass fishing tournaments are week long affairs in which there is typically a practice fishing period of multiple days in which the fisherman do nothing except locate fish, then the tournament itself is 2 or 3 days long, 10-12 hour days of nothing but fishing. And even then there are still guys who dont catch their limit of fish. I know this pharse is probably going to infuriate you, but theres a reason its called "Fishing" and not "Catching". And I know this probably isnt the adivce you want to hear but you need to keep at it, keep fishing, find spots, refine your technique. Eventually one of these days the fish will be biting and you'll see why its the worlds oldest profession (outside of prostitution). If you want anymore specific advice, like I said I recommend you pay us a visit in the Fishing thread.
 
like a few times? not enough to know how to do it on my own successfully 25 years later? i understand the fucking perspective of putting a fucking hook in the water mate, it's not a complex concept.

and yes I expect people not to give me terrible advice all the fucking time

any further inquiries on how profoundly insane it is I am not catching fish?
Have you tried putting the rod where the hungry fish are? It's less a skill issue and more about knowing a spot, and knowing what time of the day those fish are biting. People kill dudes for leaking where their private fishing holes are.

if you want to catch big fish easy try jigging in the ocean. It takes me 20 minutes to jig 5 cod which is enough fish for weeks, I can be out trouting for hours.
 
Here's some drama that popped up in the Smash Bros scene a few weeks ago that went under the radar. Another player got accused of sexual assault, only for the accusations to be fake but despite this he got kicked out of playing in tournaments, so he got a lawyer to sue the organizers over it since they didn't investigate it, they just took the allegations at face value. As a result the organizers lifted the ban, causing xitter smashtrannies to seethe as usual.
 
That’s what skills are.
Narrator: Much like a black man struggling to understand the meaning of 'rotating an apple in your mind', this poor skilless fool had never possessed a real skill of any kind in his life, and therefore had no frame of reference to comprehend the conversation he was engaging with
 
like a few times? not enough to know how to do it on my own successfully 25 years later? i understand the fucking perspective of putting a fucking hook in the water mate, it's not a complex concept.

and yes I expect people not to give me terrible advice all the fucking time

any further inquiries on how profoundly insane it is I am not catching fish?
maybe this is a stupid recommendation, but if you want free seafood you can go clamming
its much less autistic than fishing. you just dig them up and put them in a bucket.
 
The troon foretold the prophecy
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Another update on the wb/paramount merger: allegedly atlanta's about to be heavily affected by the merger with an alleged 6k in layoffs, warner's atlanta campus being possibly sold, the studios around atlanta having less things filmed for warner, and downsized cuts for the turner acquired networks. ALLEGEDLY
Screenshot_20260616_000947_Samsung Browser.jpg
 
like a few times? not enough to know how to do it on my own successfully 25 years later? i understand the fucking perspective of putting a fucking hook in the water mate, it's not a complex concept.

and yes I expect people not to give me terrible advice all the fucking time

any further inquiries on how profoundly insane it is I am not catching fish?
I'm not an expert on fishing, but I grew up going fishing a lot on the weekends with my parents. I can offer a few bits of advice I've gathered over the years.

1st thing is obtain or look up the farmers almanac. It's useful for agriculture and hunting as well, but it will tell you which days of each month are best for fishing. It will tell you how aggressive the fish will be in general. I'm not sure about the science behind it, but I think it has something to do with tides, lunar cycles and changes in barometric pressure.

2nd thing is to know where to fish,. Not necessarily which body of water, but which parts of the water you're fishing. It usually boils down to points, drop offs, structure, shelter, and current. There's lots of videos on youtube explaining the subject in detail.

3rd thing also has to do with where you're fishing. That being, where in the water column you're fishing. This is where it's useful to know a bit about the behavior of the fish you're targeting. This will tell you whether you need to be fishing mid-column, or top-water like you would for bass. OR if you need to be on the bottom, like you would do for drum or catfish.

4th thing is bait. There's a million different considerations when it comes to bait, you can find tons of videos online giving their doctoral thesis on bait choice. My general rule of thumb is that the color of the bait should contrast with the color of the water you're fishing in. It doesn't have to be much, but visibility is key in certain waters.

Lastly, if you're just starting out and want things to be simple. It may be best to use live, or formerly living things for bait. Fish are generally more interested in live or organic bait, and you can be sure they'll always be interested in it if they're hungry. Examples of this can be night-crawlers or crickets for fresh water, and shrimp or croakers for salt water.

Hope this helps a bit, I know a lot of these things helped me a lot when I started fishing on my own.
 
Null, don't listen to all these autists about "skill" and "knowledge" and "patience". That's nerd talk to overcomplicate a man's hobby like fishing. In fact, I believe a fit young man like yourself should divest all these superfluous baubles like rods and line.
God gave you two hands!
One to hold a cold beverage while the other plucks a hapless catfish from it's underwater den!
One to snatch a trout from a flowing stream while the other salutes the American flag!
One to flip off a Game Warden when he politely asks for your fishing license, and then the other also flips off the Game Warden when he less politely demands to see your license!
 
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