💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Hell, Lucas would probably have sex with KFC if he could. He may have already tried.

Don't give him ideas. He already brushes his 'hair' with kfc

I can very much see lucas repeating this scene irl

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

It is worth noting that Lucas is no longer listed on the docket for municipal court since his 3rd charge was added for arraignments On 8/25. On 9/1 and 9/8, he was not Included in the scheduled status hearing or anything at all. this is based on the muni therapeutic court pdf of the weekly Tuesday docket. Other individuals who were in the previous dockets continued to have weekly status hearings which is how therapeutic court should go.

Lucas was changed to biweekly meetings at Community Court every Tuesday 9am from 20 September to 12 January. There's nothing on what this program contains or why he was changed.

 

[Da Dude123]

Mark my words. Lucas would chimpout if he found an acceptable baby zoom to take to clinkerdaggers, Churchill's, or Red Robin, or whatever over priced restaurant he is obsessed with. If they broke it off with him after he would be beside himself that he spent his tardbux on dinner and didn't get to have sex. He would be obessed with any woman stupid enough to go to dinner with him.

LOLOL OMG! Lucas is such a fucking simp.

Despite all his macho bravado and talking about women like they’re property (Don’t hoard the women y’all!) Lucas thinks it’s perfectly logical and fair if a woman goes on a date just to get a free meal.

 

[INeedUhChickUnder26]

Mark my words. Lucas would chimpout if he found an acceptable baby zoom to take to clinkerdaggers, Churchill's, or Red Robin, or whatever over priced restaurant he is obsessed with. If they broke it off with him after he would be beside himself that he spent his tardbux on dinner and didn't get to have sex. He would be obessed with any woman stupid enough to go to dinner with him.

Hey baby zoom zoom zoom zoOm zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoOm Hey baby Zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoom baby Hey baby zoom zoom zoom

 

[wenttobermuda]

Hey baby zoom zoom zoom zoOm zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoOm Hey baby Zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoom baby Hey baby zoom zoom zoom

Still can't believe "Baby Zoom," or "Baby Zoom II," didn't get Lucas noticed by "interesting smart pretty girls," or laid.

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79

youtu.be

I wonder if there's ever been a man that could get laid after performing "Baby Zoom." I think that by the third "zoom" you're a sexual non-entity.

 

[INeedUhChickUnder26]

Still can't believe "Baby Zoom," or "Baby Zoom II," didn't get Lucas noticed by "interesting smart pretty girls," or laid.

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79

youtu.be

I wonder if there's ever been a man that could get laid after performing "Baby Zoom." I think that by the third "zoom" you're a sexual non-entity.

The ol' chicken/egg conundrum. Does Lucas not get laid because he performed Baby Zoom or did he perform Baby Zoom because he can't get laid? In this case I think the chicken and retarded egg arrived simultaneously.

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79

youtu.be

Covering his eyes so he doesn't accidentally attract males and give them raging boners

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Still can't believe "Baby Zoom," or "Baby Zoom II," didn't get Lucas noticed by "interesting smart pretty girls," or laid.

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79

youtu.be

I wonder if there's ever been a man that could get laid after performing "Baby Zoom." I think that by the third "zoom" you're a sexual non-entity.

I think the strongest reaction this "song" stirs is the desire to plank Lucas in the face with a 2x4.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

Since we have a void needing to be filled as Lukey got his phone swiped, please enjoy the report from the “”””assault””””

 

[Rescuetoast]

Every time he says “baby zoom” I read it to the tune of Baby Shark.

 

[Da Dude123]

"Lucas claimed he had a bump on his head, but all I could see was a pimple."

Lol! Well at the very least we know he exaggerated what happened, if anything happened at all. Of course, Lucas would go to the hospital because he is a ward of the state and gets free medical care due to his exceptionalism. But I sort of doubt he went to the hospital.

I doubt there is actually any video of this.

Since we have a void needing to be filled as Lukey got his phone swiped, please enjoy the report from the “”””assault””””
Ver archivo adjunto 1591395Ver archivo adjunto 1591396

 

[Fatal Walter]

That police report is a thing of beauty. I'm kind of surprised he didn't try to blame Chris Hansen to the cop or at least ramble about kiwi farms like an insane person. When I get to covering Lucas again I'll definitely have to read that.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Lucas was changed to biweekly meetings at Community Court every Tuesday 9am from 20 September to 12 January. There's nothing on what this program contains or why he was changed.

where did we get this info?

Edit to add:

Every time he says “baby zoom” I read it to the tune of Baby Shark.

Baby zoom doo doo to doo
Baby zoom doo doo to doo
Baby zoom

Gen X creep doo doo to doo
Gen X creep doo doo to doo
Gen x creep

Pitch a fit doo doo to doo
Pitch a fit doo doo to doo
Pitch a fit

report fake crimes doo doo to doo
report fake crimes doo doo to doo
report fake crimes!

manic shouts doo doo to doo
manic shouts doo doo to doo
Manic shouts

Gorge and smoke doo doo to doo
Gorge and smoke doo doo to doo
Gorge and smoke

die alone doo doo to doo
die alone doo doo to doo
die alone!

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

where did we get this info?

http://justicewebview.spokanecity.org/justicewebview/Default.aspx

You need to use Internet Explorer like it's 2000. And it's slow as shit.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

"Lucas claimed he had a bump on his head, but all I could see was a pimple."

I cracked up laughing at this part too. I used to be a preschool teacher and this is something my kids would sometimes pull to get attention and a band-aid.

 

[Wernology]

Since we have a void needing to be filled as Lukey got his phone swiped, please enjoy the report from the “”””assault””””
Ver archivo adjunto 1591395Ver archivo adjunto 1591396

"Lucas claimed that he had a bump on his head, but I could only see a pimple." is the funniest thing I've read today.

 

[Trainwreck]

I'm interested to hear how homeless Lucas fared in our air today. The city opened a 24 hour clean air refuge at the convention center downtown.

 

[Telomerase1979]

That police report is a thing of beauty. I'm kind of surprised he didn't try to blame Chris Hansen to the cop or at least ramble about kiwi farms like an insane person. When I get to covering Lucas again I'll definitely have to read that.

when you do, you should reference this video as Lucas’s Self-Rebuttal against his recent spat of videos arguing that he’s totally not racist because “he has a brown friend”.

 

[The Wernest]

While we wait for our common friend to come back online here's what I found on YouTube this morning:

https://youtu.be/JqYl7efPrxo

 

[WonderWino]

While we wait for our common friend to come back online here's what I found on YouTube this morning:

https://youtu.be/JqYl7efPrxoVer archivo adjunto 1593523

LOL lucas is going to lose his shit when he sees that. I'm sure there will be the inevitable video ranting about it