Left Side Sleeper Superiority Thread

  • 🔧 Site instability resolved. You can report double-posts and broken attachments. For bigger issues, use the Technical Grievances thread.
    🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

How should non-left side sleepers be tortured?


  • Total de votantes
    18

Travis Touchdown (REAL)

Possesses Calming Moid Energy
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Registrado
24 de Ago, 2024
When you sleep, you should lie on your left side since it generally reduces acid reflux by keeping the stomach below the esophagus and helps with digestion. It also promotes better blood circulation. It also projects a force field that keeps the molester goblins away from you since by facing left, you'll be looking at your bedroom door where they enter from. (Everyone knows that a molester goblin's greatest weakness is being looked at. (they're quite bashful)) Sleeping on your left side is also better for mana circulation. You can perform much greater spells in the morning if you sleep on your left side. Need I say more?

I digress, taking this into consideration, consider why anyone would bother sleeping on their back or their right side? Are they lunatics? I cannot think of a single advantage. Perhaps they're gay and they like being molested by molester goblins??? I don't know man.

TL;DR, if you sleep on your back or your right side, you are beneath me and you are DIRT you are WASTE you are SCUM you are DREGS you are PATHETIC you have AIDS you are GAY and you get MOLESTED BY MOLESTER GOBLINS and you S U U U U U U C K!

Discuss.
 
I sleep on my left side and my stomach by clutching the Trish body pillow (I would have gotten an Olivia one but the trigger was discounted) to the right of me so I'm propped up at an angle. It lets me have my arm resting by my left side and not laying on top of it and fucking up my shoulder. Never had problems sleeping this way.
 
Left-side sleeper out of necessity. My sinus congestion is intolerable if I sleep on my right side. Sleeping on my back is uncomfortable and can make me snore. I was a stomach sleeper for years but back injuries have made it too painful.

Your punishments are too harsh. Non left-side sleepers should "merely" be cursed with Restless Leg Syndrome.
 
Atrás
Top Abajo