Jurassic Park/World megathread - Spared no expense.

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Best jp character

  • Dr Grant

  • Dr Malcom

  • Ellie sattler

  • Owen grady

  • Claire dearing

  • Roland tembo

  • Robert muldoon

  • Paul kirby

  • John Hammond


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the raptors could be killed by basic bitch rifles.
crichton does have muldoon tell gennaro in the first book that the raptors have really strong skeletons and "distributed nervous systems" (lolwut) so guns aren't effective. which doesn't make any sense, a shotgun or rifle is going to fuck up an animal the size of a raptor period, and it's never referenced in the second book anyway. the reason there aren't guns is crichton thought himself something of an intellectual and wanted the action in his techno-thriller intellectual slop to stand out from standard action slop
 
crichton does have muldoon tell gennaro in the first book that the raptors have really strong skeletons and "distributed nervous systems" (lolwut) so guns aren't effective. which doesn't make any sense, a shotgun or rifle is going to fuck up an animal the size of a raptor period, and it's never referenced in the second book anyway. the reason there aren't guns is crichton thought himself something of an intellectual and wanted the action in his techno-thriller intellectual slop to stand out from standard action slop
In the same book where Muldoon starts blowing up dinosaurs with a rocket launcher?

Anyway, I think it's insane how this series has been making a billion bucks per movie by just teasing the same plot for a decade.
"Oh man, there's a mutant dinosaurs that's meaner than all the other dinos, and the dinos, they're getting loose. Soon there will be dinosaurs all over the world. Haha, kidding, that's not happening until the next movie."
I think they would be far more interesting if they just scaled the scope back a bit. I remember in the novel you have the scene of the compys having gotten to the mainland as stowaways and eating a child in a crib. They need more of that.
Imagine a movie where a police detective has to investigate numerous gruesome deaths in the countryside attributed to animals, eventually discovering that there's dinosaurs out in the jungle hunting people. The detective discovering that the dinosaurs are coming from a ship that was smuggling dinosaurs off Isla Nublar and having capsized offshore during a storm trying to get to the Panama Canal. Having to stop another freighter smuggling dinosaurs through the channel. Nothing grandiose. No reason having to handwave why men with rifles aren't just decimating the dinos. No big evil dinosaur acting more like a human than an animal. Just ill prepared people put into a survival situation against animals capable of hunting humans.
 
In the same book where Muldoon starts blowing up dinosaurs with a rocket launcher?

Anyway, I think it's insane how this series has been making a billion bucks per movie by just teasing the same plot for a decade.
"Oh man, there's a mutant dinosaurs that's meaner than all the other dinos, and the dinos, they're getting loose. Soon there will be dinosaurs all over the world. Haha, kidding, that's not happening until the next movie."
I think they would be far more interesting if they just scaled the scope back a bit. I remember in the novel you have the scene of the compys having gotten to the mainland as stowaways and eating a child in a crib. They need more of that.
Imagine a movie where a police detective has to investigate numerous gruesome deaths in the countryside attributed to animals, eventually discovering that there's dinosaurs out in the jungle hunting people. The detective discovering that the dinosaurs are coming from a ship that was smuggling dinosaurs off Isla Nublar and having capsized offshore during a storm trying to get to the Panama Canal. Having to stop another freighter smuggling dinosaurs through the channel. Nothing grandiose. No reason having to handwave why men with rifles aren't just decimating the dinos. No big evil dinosaur acting more like a human than an animal. Just ill prepared people put into a survival situation against animals capable of hunting humans.

This is basically the opening of the book.

They did pretty well dealing with muldoon and he was very familiar with them. I suspect raptors would be rather difficult to get rid of entirely once they got out into the wilderness

Have you seen how we hunt feral hogs here in Texas? Now imagine getting the OK to exterminate invasive dinosaurs. Every hunter in the world would immediately kill then to extinction.


You know, I was thinking the other day. The low budget, direct to video Tremors movies are far more entertaining than any of these Jurassic World sequels made with hundreds of millions of dollars.
 
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In the same book where Muldoon starts blowing up dinosaurs with a rocket launcher?

yeah that's why he has the rocket launcher, according to him you gotta blow dinos to pieces to make sure they're good and dead
images-15.webp
The old good Buffy's rocket launcher trope.

"No forged weapon can defeat me!"

Yeah, about that...
 
The problem with these new movies is that there's no stakes, because you know that none of these characters are gonna fucking die. They won't kill a character if it will make the audience feel a negative emotion, because these movies are trying to be such crowd pleasers.

Like how they chickened out of letting the black guy actually die at the end of the new movie.
They brought it home in the first movie when they killed Muldoon, who was the biggest badass there ever was, and showed the Dinos could get anyone. Then in the lost world they had Eddie get ripped in half while he was heroically trying to save the rest of the team.
In the same book where Muldoon starts blowing up dinosaurs with a rocket launcher?

Anyway, I think it's insane how this series has been making a billion bucks per movie by just teasing the same plot for a decade.
"Oh man, there's a mutant dinosaurs that's meaner than all the other dinos, and the dinos, they're getting loose. Soon there will be dinosaurs all over the world. Haha, kidding, that's not happening until the next movie."
I think they would be far more interesting if they just scaled the scope back a bit. I remember in the novel you have the scene of the compys having gotten to the mainland as stowaways and eating a child in a crib. They need more of that.
Imagine a movie where a police detective has to investigate numerous gruesome deaths in the countryside attributed to animals, eventually discovering that there's dinosaurs out in the jungle hunting people. The detective discovering that the dinosaurs are coming from a ship that was smuggling dinosaurs off Isla Nublar and having capsized offshore during a storm trying to get to the Panama Canal. Having to stop another freighter smuggling dinosaurs through the channel. Nothing grandiose. No reason having to handwave why men with rifles aren't just decimating the dinos. No big evil dinosaur acting more like a human than an animal. Just ill prepared people put into a survival situation against animals capable of hunting humans.
they need to put the Dino crisis in the bag
 
They brought it home in the first movie when they killed Muldoon, who was the biggest badass there ever was, and showed the Dinos could get anyone. Then in the lost world they had Eddie get ripped in half while he was heroically trying to save the rest of the team.

The first movie had genuine horror in it, but it's turned into nothing but a children's franchise. There's even literal cartoons of it now, in the same continuity.
 
Idk if any of you lads are still craving some more dinosaurs in your life but next month is the release of Primitive War


It’s not in the Jurassic Park universe but I just finished reading the book today and it’s solid. Basically a bunch of badass special forces run into dinosaurs in Vietnam. I’m guessing it’s going to be an action movie with some horror elements. I know a lot of people ITT hate the family friendly shit that gets shoved into the Jurassic park/world franchise and this movie will have none of it. I’m cautiously optimistic that it’s going to be a good movie, there’s a lot of good material they can use from the book. It’s going to be rated R there are some very gorey deaths.My only gripe is the author wrote it in that homosexual period where the Reddit featherniggers thought every dinosaur had feathers on it. So in the book the Rex is described with feathers which is conclusively proved not true. Other than that the Dino’s seem pretty accurate and a few different ones you don’t see in most movies get featured in the book. Might be worth a watch if you’re a Dino autist like me.
 
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Idk if any of you lads are still craving some more dinosaurs in your life but next month is the release of Primitive War


It’s not in the Jurassic Park universe but I just finished reading the book today and it’s solid. Basically a bunch of badass special forces run into dinosaurs in Vietnam. I’m guessing it’s going to be an action movie with some horror elements. I know a lot of people ITT hate the family friendly shit that gets shoved into the Jurassic park/world franchise and this movie will have none of it. I’m cautiously optimistic that it’s going to be a good movie, there’s a lot of good material they can use from the book. It’s going to be rated R there are some very gorey deaths.My only gripe is the author wrote it in that homosexual period where the Reddit featherniggers thought every dinosaur had feathers on it. So in the book the Rex is described with feathers which is conclusively proved not true. Other than that the Dino’s seem pretty accurate and a few different ones you don’t see in most movies get featured in the book. Might be worth a watch if you’re a Dino autist like me.
I'm more optimistic for this movie than I was for Rebirth, though to be fair that's probably because I have high standards for what a JP movie should strive to be and since this is something new I feel like I'll be able to just go into it and have fun.

Though the idea of soldiers during the Vietnam War discovering a hidden land of dinosaurs does sound real fresh and exciting all on its own.

Apparently they're going to be making a 40k/turn-based style miniatures game based on this which sounds fun as hell.
 
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I'm more optimistic for this movie than I was for Rebirth, though to be fair that's probably because I have high standards for what a JP movie should strive to be and since this is something new I feel like I'll be able to just go into it and have fun.

Though the idea of soldiers during the Vietnam War discovering a hidden land of dinosaurs does sound real fresh and exciting all on its own.

Apparently they're going to be making a 40k/turn-based style miniatures game based on this which sounds fun as hell.
You’re telling me there’s going to be primitive war miniatures? I guess I’m holding off on buying a new house cuz I just found something better to spend my money on.
 
The first movie had genuine horror in it, but it's turned into nothing but a children's franchise. There's even literal cartoons of it now, in the same continuity.
Thats right, its really a horror movie (most of the dino attack scenes happen in dark areas.) Thats partly because the CGI tech wasn't so great in 1993 and the puppets, while awesome, were still puppets. Dark helps make both look better. Spielberg is decent at building tension when he's forced to not show his puppets, like what happened in Jaws. Perhaps his one redeeming quality.
 
So to continue my past post arguing that Nedry is actually awesome I'd like to add that after watching the movie again I have more evidence to suggest Dr. Alan Grant is the one who fucked shit up the most. He hates kids because he is himself a child; impulsive, selfish, ignorant.

We all know that the ride vehicles continue to move as Grant and Ellie jump out of them. I'd assumed this was why they eventually got turned around, everyone jumped out and the vehicles continued on and the control room has the vehicles turn around at a nearby loop to go back and pick them up. Turning around seems to have been what cursed them to stop in the T-Rex paddock, right?

Well on closer look we eventually see that the vehicles came to a full stop.
IMG_2767.webp

Personally I think this was a screwup on the film crew as the vehicles would be further away from where Grant first jumped out but whatever. So the vehicles didn't journey on unattended for a few minutes requiring a turnaround. Heres my alternative theory. We see the control room is fully staffed at the time they exit the vehicles:

Jp.gif

But we know that this was right around "quitting time" and most of the staff was about to leave. I suspect that Grant and everyone spent way more time with the Trike than most of the audience would assume, maybe close to an hour or so. This would explain why in a few scenes later the control room is empty. Most of the staff left while the group was hanging with the Trike. The vet at the Trike said he was about to leave the Island so maybe he was the straggler while the command center staff had already departed.

We know the island isn't that big. The drive to the heliport seems to be quick. The main dock is down south that way and we can assume the staff uses a shuttle bus. Nedry's guy is actually at the east dock so we can assume maybe that boat is a cargo vessel or not suppose to be there (and Nedry is concealing the live feed from everyone else.)

My guess is that the Trike paddock is right next to the TRex paddock, meaning they were about halfway through the tour loop. With the bulk of the staff leaving or gone already and a major storm approaching and the guests standing in a dino paddock with a sick Trike I suspect they decided to turn the vehicles around and come back the way they came.

IMG_2775.webp
(Location of vehicles when they shutdown)

Logic suggests this was the quicker option; maybe the map isn't to scale and the remainder of the loop is longer, goes uphill, goes into an area that'd be more exposed to the storm, or maybe they were concerned Grant would try and jump out again and pet another dino along the way.

Anyways, we must assume the vehicles are turned around because of Grant jumping out at the halfway point and because of the approaching storm. Grants impulsive decision caused the delay that got them all trapped in the Red paddock. Had he not jumped out they'd have continued on and likely have been in a much safer area or even back at the command center when the storm hit.

Hence, Grant is the villain of Jurassic Park and got tons of people killed.

I recently watched Rebirth and rather than comment on that pile I'd rather encourage everyone to rewatch the original again to nitpick the pointless details like I've been doing here. Its clear JP had lots of talent working behind the scenes, none of the sequels have come close and don't deserve this level of sperging.
 
Hence, Grant is the villain of Jurassic Park and got tons of people killed.
Hilariously enough, everyone at control was shocked by this decision because they didn't think the car doors could open during the ride. Another reason why "sparing no expense" was a lie and that Hammond's unethical behavior got people killed. Grant unintentionally exploited that because his childish behavior kicked in.

Easily a normal park goer, or a child, would've done that, too. And for some reason no one foresaw that.

Makes the confrontations and contentions between Hammond and Grant fascinating because they're both in the wrong, but Grant was gaining experience being out there and thus make it easier to mog Hammond by the end even when he, too, agreed with his decision to not endorse the park. And in a way, Grant learned his lesson while Hammond still held on to his ideals to the end. A villain redemption arc is something the Jurassic series needed but never properly showcased, so Grant's the closest we got. Really is too fucking bad Dominion sucked ass in how it treated the legacy characters.
 
Idk if any of you lads are still craving some more dinosaurs in your life but next month is the release of Primitive War

https://youtu.be/Y3JLddow6U8
Thank you for making me aware of this, it looks really stupid but the fun kind of stupid, the CGI doesn't look half bad for what I'm guessing is not a particularly high budget film too.
My only gripe is the author wrote it in that homosexual period where the Reddit featherniggers thought every dinosaur had feathers on it. So in the book the Rex is described with feathers which is conclusively proved not true.
I remember that, skin impressions from T.Rex were discovered proving it to be fully scaly, the coping and seething from the featherfags was off the charts.
 
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Hilariously enough, everyone at control was shocked by this decision because they didn't think the car doors could open during the ride. Another reason why "sparing no expense" was a lie and that Hammond's unethical behavior got people killed. Grant unintentionally exploited that because his childish behavior kicked in.

Easily a normal park goer, or a child, would've done that, too. And for some reason no one foresaw that.

Makes the confrontations and contentions between Hammond and Grant fascinating because they're both in the wrong, but Grant was gaining experience being out there and thus make it easier to mog Hammond by the end even when he, too, agreed with his decision to not endorse the park. And in a way, Grant learned his lesson while Hammond still held on to his ideals to the end. A villain redemption arc is something the Jurassic series needed but never properly showcased, so Grant's the closest we got. Really is too fucking bad Dominion sucked ass in how it treated the legacy characters.

Yeah the fact they had so many glitches with the ride vehicles hits home how bad things were setup. Thats where my theory that the vehicles had to turn around via a loop originated from (maybe they couldn't backup for whatever glitchy reason.) When the systems start shutting down the vehicles aren't affected at first, then the fences drop and we see the TV screen in the vehicles shutoff, then a few seconds later the vehicles stop. Obviously Nedry was causing a slow moving cascade power failure to make it look less like someone was target specific systems.

Whats odd about the door locks is its clear in the Red Paddock that the guests are suppose to exit the vehicles are certain times in the tour (the bathroom building is there and the general area is built like a pavilion.) Probably just poor planning on everyones part given what a clusterfuck everything else was.

I can't even remember Dominion despite watching it twice, haha. I do remember a tube vehicle and those spitter dino's and how old all the OG cast looked. Thats all I can recall aside from locusts and confusion,
 
Grant is the villain of Jurassic Park and got tons of people killed
I would argue he is another example of chaos and it's dangerous consequences, since he had no knowledge or intent to cause a problem but was instead just trying to interact with the most spectacular thing he could conceive, a living dinosaur.
 
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