Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

[ReentryPhantom]

Hss Hss hss hss.... See, this is what I mean about these brain dead fucking idiot detractors who take something I say out of khantext and blow it up into some conspiracy theory. I didn't say that Ja$per had been at that shelter for several months, nowhere did I ever say that. You will never find an instance of me saying that anywhere. Which is fucking funny because they believe this in their simple fucking minds. What I said was, "Ja$per had been in A shelter for several months." Nobody wanted a declawed cat, and so he just sat there. Then he got, um.... *snort* he got shipped from some Midwestern state to the shelter we got him from and that was that. Okay? Okay.

It was Arkansas..... Or Nebraska.

 

[Freshtodeath]

He def had Jasper declawed he's a monster. Cats get relief doing that thing where they press their paws up and down. Jasper can't do that.

 

[George Beorge]

Late to the party, but I find it really...distressing that Jasper is so obsessed with the wires. I'm aware cats like dangly bits, and wires feel good to their teeth, but, of my wifes cats only one has ever shown any interest in wires, and that's the one that bonded to her, and that cat specifically chews on her headphones (edit: I presume because they smell like her, and she brings them to work.). My house is a fucking shit show of wires, connected, disconnected, all sorts, and neither of them have ever tried to chew on the wires.

This, I suspect, is because we actually take care of and engage with the little furbeasts, and give them things they can chew on. Proof Dave hasn't even attempted to buy Jasper toys?

Declawed cats commonly have behavioural issues with biting and chewing because they cant use their claws anymore.

 

[BrokeACKMountain]

Ver archivo adjunto 1363153
Seeing this cracks me up every damn time. Do we have a running total of the air time that Jasper the declawed mascot has had in almost a year?

 

[Schmeckel]

Ver archivo adjunto 1363153
Seeing this cracks me up every damn time. Do we have a running total of the air time that Jasper the declawed mascot has had in almost a year?

Ja$per has been on-screen for probably less than 5 minutes total. A pahsitive addition to the shtreems has been 5 minutes, aside from the times that Dave sprays him for chewing on and playing with shit (even though he's demonstrated that one of the cat's favorite toys is something that LOOKS LIKE A CABLE).

 

[Funko Pops NFT collector]

jasper has toys

however, his "favourite" is a pipe cleaner, which looks like a wire

dsp will literally dangle the thing infront of jasper, get him worked up, ignore him after 2 minutes, then jasper gets sprayed cause he is playing with wires after being teased by something that looks the same

https://youtube.com/watch?v=l3UTU8cIStE:194

I dont understand why people put bells on their mascot collar,its retarded and annoying,and it must be 10 times more annoying for Jasper since that everytime he is not still he has to hear that stupid bell ring,imagine having a bell around your neck 24/7.

 

[Wurstbrot]

I dont understand why people put bells on their mascot collar,its retarded and annoying,and it must be 10 times more annoying for Jasper since that everytime he is not still he has to hear that stupid bell ring,imagine having a bell around your neck 24/7.

Uncertainty is a good reason to put on a bell in the first weeks. Where does the cat go? How does he behave in an unknown new environment? Has the cat escaped or is just well hidden? Quite nice to keep it observed especially when there is little experience with cats present. After you get a grip on felines and can accept their individual behaviors there is no reason for a bell. The collar can also be a safety hazard when they scamper around and I doubt they feel very comfortable with this shit around their neck.

So does Jasper still wears this collar after over a year in their possession?

Edit

Yes he does.
Rated A for Asberger.
So it's not only a bell but also a big ass tag.
For an indoor cat.
I don't get it.

EDIT EDIT

Excuse me. I ment to say AFTER ALMOST 2 YEARS.

 

[George Beorge]

Uncertainty is a good reason to put on a bell in the first weeks. Where does the cat go? How does he behave in an unknown new environment? Has the cat escaped or is just well hidden? Quite nice to keep it observed especially when there is little experience with cats present. After you get a grip on felines and can accept their individual behaviors there is no reason for a bell. The collar can also be a safety hazard when they scamper around and I doubt they feel very comfortable with this shit around their neck.

So does Jasper still wears this collar after over a year in their possession?

Edit

Yes he does.
Rated A for Asberger.
So it's not only a bell but also a big ass tag.
For an indoor cat.
I don't get it.Ver archivo adjunto 1365211

I keep collars on my indoor cats on the off chance one of them gets outside on accident. It ain't that weird.

 

[George Beorge]

Also, here's my take on Jasper's claws:
I dont believe that Phil or Kat had him declawed.
My reasoning for this is that when defending himself Phil has displayed pretty accurate cat care knowledge such as the detriments of declawing a cat.
The thing with Phil is he's no Animal expert and there's no way he'd do proper research first (He said before he learned everything about his hamsters from a retail employee for one), which suggests to me that Kat did research herself. Now, is Kat the kind of person who would research these things and understand how detrimental declawing is to a cats health and just ignore it? I can't really say, but either way Phil had nothing to do with it. It's clearly not his cat.

 

[tzgnilki]

I dont understand why people put bells on their mascot collar,its retarded and annoying,and it must be 10 times more annoying for Jasper since that everytime he is not still he has to hear that stupid bell ring,imagine having a bell around your neck 24/7.

I think it's mainly to scare away mice/birds, so they don't hunt them and bring the corpse into the house

 

[MoonRocker]

Also, here's my take on Jasper's claws:
I dont believe that Phil or Kat had him declawed.
My reasoning for this is that when defending himself Phil has displayed pretty accurate cat care knowledge such as the detriments of declawing a cat.
The thing with Phil is he's no Animal expert and there's no way he'd do proper research first (He said before he learned everything about his hamsters from a retail employee for one), which suggests to me that Kat did research herself. Now, is Kat the kind of person who would research these things and understand how detrimental declawing is to a cats health and just ignore it? I can't really say, but either way Phil had nothing to do with it. It's clearly not his cat.

I agree with this as well. I don’t think Phil declawed Jasper but I know why he specifically adopted a cat that was declawed: so it wouldn’t damage his JCPenney furniture, as he stated in a February or March 2019 stream when he was still hiding Jasper’s existence and made it clear that’s the only way he’d ever let a cat into the Gout Fort (ironically enough, the furniture that was bought on credit was ultimately never paid back due to being granted his Ch7 bankruptcy so he basically adopted a declawed cat to not destroy his free furniture).

As is usual with DSP, the stated reasons he claims as to why he adopted jasper are completely disingenuous and full of shit. He didn’t do it because he felt bad the cat was declawed, he did it because it killed two birds with one stone: he got his spergy wife a mutilated pet and he got his wish of avoiding damage to his crappy furniture.

That’s what’s disgusting about Phil and in regards to so many other events in his life. He always shifts and distorts the narrative to paint himself and the decisions he makes in the best light possible and to portray himself as “The Good Guy:” “I adopted jasper because the poor cat was declawed! Me and my wife could have adopted much cuter, younger, and healthier kittens but since we’re such good people, we adopted a handicapped cat!”

Shut the fuck up Phil, you’re not fooling anyone. Prior to adopting this cat, you’ve publicly stated numerous times that an animal would be a huge inconvenience to your life but you found an effortless compromise to make it a slightly less inconvenient burden to you and your material possessions. You didn’t do it because you’re a good person or you cared, you did it because you’re fucking selfish and lazy. And everybody knows it.

 

[George Beorge]

I agree with this as well. I don’t think Phil declawed Jasper but I know why he specifically adopted a cat that was declawed: so it wouldn’t damage his JCPenney furniture, as he stated in a February or March 2019 stream when he was still hiding Jasper’s existence and made it clear that’s the only way he’d ever let a cat into the Gout Fort (ironically enough, the furniture that was bought on credit was ultimately never paid back due to being granted his Ch7 bankruptcy so he basically adopted a declawed cat to not destroy his free furniture).

As is usual with DSP, the stated reasons he claims as to why he adopted jasper are completely disingenuous and full of shit. He didn’t do it because he felt bad the cat was declawed, he did it because it killed two birds with one stone: he got his spergy wife a mutilated pet and he got his wish of avoiding damage to his crappy furniture.

That’s what’s disgusting about Phil and in regards to so many other events in his life. He always shifts and distorts the narrative to paint himself and the decisions he makes in the best light possible and to portray himself as “The Good Guy:” “I adopted jasper because the poor cat was declawed! Me and my wife could have adopted much cuter, younger, and healthier kittens but since we’re such good people, we adopted a handicapped cat!”

Shut the fuck up Phil, you’re not fooling anyone. Prior to adopting this cat, you’ve publicly stated numerous times that an animal would be a huge inconvenience to your life but you found an effortless compromise to make it a slightly less inconvenient burden to you and your material possessions. You didn’t do it because you’re a good person or you cared, you did it because you’re fucking selfish and lazy. And everybody knows it.

To be honest I sincerely doubt Phil had any say in the matter at all. I get the impression he was just along for the ride. Who even knows how much of his own money he's spent on the thing. Kat has a job and could easily afford a cat by herself. (Which also makes his paaahhsitive Jasper reveal even more scummy)

 

[DiabeticSP]

Phil's involvement probably went like this


Kat: I want a kitty
Phil: no
Kat: why not?
Phil: uh... cats claw shit up! So you cant have a cat!
Kat: i"ll get a declawed one then.

Kat 100% bullied him into a pet.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Phil's involvement probably went like this


Kat: I want a kitty
Phil: no
Kat: why not?
Phil: uh... cats claw shit up! So you cant have a cat!
Kat: i"ll get a declawed one then.

Kat 100% bullied him into a pet.

"DiabeticSP tipped his hat and uuuuh, insulted my wife. Great, thank you for the tip you fucking moron, really nice of you insulting my wife who has nothing to do with anything, and when I just want to have fun and relax *clicks in chat*. But *legslap* that's the stupidity of those people, right? They want their jollies by making fun of people because they achieved nothing in their lifes, without a job, without a beautiful wife and family *snort*.
Ah mah gahd...
*grabs controller*
Anyway let's ignore those shitheads, and have a fun, positive meaningful stream.
...
...
And you know, these stupid idiots are talking right from their asses. They know NATHING about me, they invent a false narrative to compensate for their pathetic existence. Let me give you the perfect example!
They say, okay, they say I declawed Jasper.
HUHN?
There is no proof I ever did! In fact, and I'm very honest, I'm a very honest guy, okay, you know me, alright? They think I chose Jasper because he had no claws. YES. Yes I did, because nobody, really NOBODY wanted to buy him. But we went there, uhm, no in fact we went to multiple shelters and we found no cats fitting to us, they were old or sick or needed special treatment, we have no time for this, we're really busy people, moving moving moving, working working working, you know what I mean.

Anyway, Jasper was the right choice for us during that time. We had to get him to lighten our, uhm, mood, you know what I mean. Trolls... Right... TRoOLls messed with my income during that time, they literally destroyed my sponsorships and, uhm, other really messed up things behind the scenes. Those cocksuckers of Youtube canceled my revenues during the biggest financial distress during that time, they reported me to my MCA and got me ki ked out which is really messed up and uhm, YEAH it was really rough, okay.

Was this enough to destroy my whole 12 year legacy career, full of meaningful interactive fun? No! I powered through, said "Fuck this shit", hoped for the best and kept on producing entertaining pahsitive khantent on demand. Because this is the guy I am, never give up, fuck the mentally ill haters, use their hate to motivate me to keep on going. And guess what assholes, I am still here! If I ever, EVER, did something wrong I would be banned from all websites!

So, there was a silver colored uhm horizontal lining at the firmament. Like a message to the disciples of good and justice *flails towards roof*. You know who got banned instead? Just guess, okay, take a guess *takes a sip*. YES! Tevin. They banned Tevin! ACK ACK ACK ACK. This is like, Waaaauuuw, finally something good happened to me. And then you guys came, yes, in the most dired of times you got me a brand new 4k TV and a PS4Pro, and I was like... Wauw I can't believe it. We really can overcome any bad time together, huh huh.
And uhm, it was also a financial great time, because Tutankhamun gave us SO MUCH support during those coming months. My motivation went whoo0000p UP, and the groove, ladies and gentlemen, the groove was back.

Now this was the perfect time to invite Jasper in our home. We got the PAHSITIVITY to make it happen, thanks to you! But, uhm, of course we had to keep him secret to protect him from this autistic shitheads, so they won't mess with his life. I mean, could you imagine what they would do to him? Yes, they're really this sick in the head *nods heavily*

Anyway! Thank you for the 1 hat tip, uhm, you are the top hat tipper of the day."

My point is: Phil is a scammer with spending issues. And truth.

 

[KillDeer]

Jasper recently went to the vet and was found to be severely dehydrated. Kat and Phil only give him dry food (very unhealthy for cats) which is probably because they are both too lazy to actually give him meals and find it easier to just pour kibble in a bowl and walk away.

Of course DSP describes this in a way only he can... "We gotta get supplies for Jasper, he needs moisture"

 

[millais]

Jasper recently went to the vet and was found to be severely dehydrated. Kat and Phil only give him dry food (very unhealthy for cats) which is probably because they are both too lazy to actually give him meals and find it easier to just pour kibble in a bowl and walk away.

Of course DSP describes this in a way only he can... "We gotta get supplies for Jasper, he needs moisture"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=uNFARdwDR3c:1065

The warning sign should have been evident. When Jasper is locked up in Phil's bedroom for the night, he used to drink water from the bamboo plant in the room. The noise of Jasper lapping up water at night was disturbing the Pigroach's sleep, so the bamboo plants were removed from the bedroom, leaving Jasper with no water source.

 

[Xolanite]

The warning sign should have been evident. When Jasper is locked up in Phil's bedroom for the night, he used to drink water from the bamboo plant in the room. The noise of Jasper lapping up water at night was disturbing the Pigroach's sleep, so the bamboo plants were removed from the bedroom, leaving Jasper with no water source.

Poor Mr. jasper kitty will end up with kidney issues

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Well, I guess Jasper being absent won't be proof of Khet leaving after all...

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Cats can live on a dry food diet, although given how fussy they are it's normally their choice rather than yours, but if they do they need a running water supply. I'm assuming they weren't smart enough to spend money on a drinking fountain for him.

 

[KKKrèmebrûlée]

Cats can live on a dry food diet, although given how fussy they are it's normally their choice rather than yours, but if they do they need a running water supply. I'm assuming they weren't smart enough to spend money on a drinking fountain for him.

He's mentioned, only because he has to clean them, he has two water fountains for Jasper.