Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

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he didn't hide his cat, he got it recently
It certainly seems that way, with just how much he gushed over it. A normal adult, well adjusted with their brains hinged properly, would be like "Oh yeah, I got a cat last year. He's an alright cat." Of course, this is Dave we're talking about here. And with how much of a cash-cat this poor creature has proven to be, his gushing needs translation subtitles. "He's so cute!" (Look at all the cheerssubsandtips!) "He's the best cat ever!" (MONEY MONEY MONEY.)

I believe they've had the cat for a long while. Cause Phil is a little bitch and his horse has him whipped. I also believe that they had him declawed, instead of him already being clipped at that young of an age in a shelter. While I could see some shit human declawing a kitten and then tossing it in a shelter, I just don't think that this is the case here. Nothing in the jasper origin story makes any sense.
 
If the cat is going to be in the room with him for hours at a time he'll have to close the door to keep it in there I assume. Hope he enjoys the smell of hot ass kitty litter in the corner of his little room.
lol, fat chance the Pig will get a litter box for the shtreeming office. Not having one in there will be a perfect excuse for Phil to incorporate the cat's piss/shitting breaks into the stream schedule.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the bottom line is that Jasper needs to take a stinky steaming shit, so I need to go on break for 20 minutes to make sure he doesn't shit outside the litter box or whatever-- ACK ACK ACK ACK! After that I will be back for another 10 minutes of gameplay, and then I need to take my 45 minute lunch break, my 30 minute personal shitting break, and my 60 minute shower and shave break. *SNORT* Sound good?"
 
says his cat will improve the stream by leaving the door open so that jasper can show up if he feels like it and have the chat interact with him (how the fuck are you supposed to interact with a cat on the internet)

but he'll only do that during the chill streams and if kat isn't home, saying he wants to let kat spend time with jasper (in reality it's so that dave doesn't leave the door to his "office" open so kat can hear him yell like a dumbass whenever he gets a homerun on easy mode on mlb)

so yea

expect to see jasper once or twice a month for 2 mins tops, that's more than getting to see khat in a whole year
 
says his cat will improve the stream by leaving the door open so that jasper can show up if he feels like it and have the chat interact with him (how the fuck are you supposed to interact with a cat on the internet)

but he'll only do that during the chill streams and if kat isn't home, saying he wants to let kat spend time with jasper (in reality it's so that dave doesn't leave the door to his "office" open so kat can hear him yell like a dumbass whenever he gets a homerun on easy mode on mlb)

so yea

expect to see jasper once or twice a month for 2 mins tops, that's more than getting to see khat in a whole year
jasper will show up one more time, chat will talk about him
phil will angry as people go AW over the cat
and jasper is labeled detractor and banned from strim
 
I'd love for Jasper to chew on Pig's cables out of boredom if Pig is actually going to keep his manchild room door open. Shame I bet he'd be too scared that Kat would complain though.
With any luck he has a case where the power and reset buttons, etc are on the top so the cat will accidentally turn off the computer when it jumps on it.
 
Wonderful. I wouldn't be surprised why he doesn't do housetours anymore because he probably got on of those expensive litter boxes that clean themselves and feeding dispenser on a timed release because he can't be assed to take care of the bugger.

Also probably got a nice expensive cat tree that he also doesn't want to show off despite saying his parents bought it and it was cheap(sounds familiar huh). I only got these hunches when he mentions prices for things because that would raise too many eyebrows on his "worst financial crisis ever" shit he has been pulling for the past year.

This is 100% percent kats decision and he's trying to m.ilk it.

Good lord he always seems to one up himself everytime. Simply amazing. This year was a hoot.
 
I have to say, a day without you shitposting assholes was quite boring.

But back on topic, I don't want to jinx anything but is it just me or are so far Phil's interactions very slow and low?
Also he did admit he emptied his little room for a "play room" for Jasper, so I wonder if he locks the cat in there since that was his original plan. Furthermore, we could possibly narrow down the time when he got Jasper, if anyone remembers when he started going on about clearing that little room?

Just out of curiosity, what proof is there he has "so fucking much credit card debt"?

I've not seen anything concrete, I've heard Phil complain about it but his word is worth jack.
 
Última edición:
I have to say, a day without you shitposting assholes was quite boring.

But back on topic, I don't want to jinx anything but is it just me or are so far Phil's interactions very slow and low?
Also he did admit he emptied his little room for a "play room" for Jasper, so I wonder if he locks the cat in there since that was his original plan. Furthermore, we could possibly narrow down the time when he got Jasper, if anyone remembers when he started going on about clearing that little room?

You're talking about the nook correct?
 
I'd love for Jasper to chew on Pig's cables out of boredom if Pig is actually going to keep his manchild room door open. Shame I bet he'd be too scared that Kat would complain though.
He can't have the Cat in the office dude. If it goes too close to his AC it will freeze and die just like his computer would if he rearranged his office. Nudniq
 
Última edición:
I was going through my clips folder and I came Ver archivo adjunto 877790 across these two clips where DSP talks (lies) about maybe looking at getting a cat and claiming his finances don't allow for one. The first clip is from April 24th, 2019 and the second clip is from May 19th, 2019, both from the early stream of those days. That means he had the cat for at least 5 months during the first clip.

It at least captures how DSP acts when he's purposely lying (as opposed to just filling in blanks in his memory on the fly during pre-stream or shit like that).

Maybe looking at getting a cat:
Cat as a pet.mp4















No cat until financial situation improves:
Cat not until better financial situation May 18 2019.mp4

phil lying? whaaaa nooooooooo
 
I was going through my clips folder and I came Ver archivo adjunto 877790 across these two clips where DSP talks (lies) about maybe looking at getting a cat and claiming his finances don't allow for one. The first clip is from April 24th, 2019 and the second clip is from May 19th, 2019, both from the early stream of those days. That means he had the cat for at least 5 months during the first clip.

It at least captures how DSP acts when he's purposely lying (as opposed to just filling in blanks in his memory on the fly during pre-stream or shit like that).

Maybe looking at getting a cat:
Cat as a pet.mp4















No cat until financial situation improves:
Cat not until better financial situation May 18 2019.mp4

Wow i wouldn't doubt he got the cat in April then, way over a year ago and with him stating he was 2 years old, i have no doubt in my mind he got him Declawed soon after.
 
The "ahfice" is a deadtrap for the cat. Also imagine the kat jumping on the tv desk and pushes the most stablely (is that a word?) placed tv off the desk.
"I'm gahnna be real ahnest with you. Jahsper got up on the TV stand and knocked over my 4k TV and the screen is just ruined. Just *snort* just ruined. *Smack* So I have had to go back to my REALLY OLD TV that has TREMENDOUS input delay and lag, and doesn't look as good. But, like I said, I'm gahnna be ahnest. This TV just makes my shtreems so much worse. My ability to see the game in full...*snort*...clarity, clarity just makes for a terrible shrteem. I can't see the game so I can't interact with YOU. Bills and tahxes have come up and I just can't afford to buy a brand new 4k TV like I did before, I mean, like some generous good samaritan did before. But without that TV, my shtreems will suffer and...ughhhhhhhhh...I'm really gonna need your support until I can get past this financial, um, situation and replace that 4k tv.......Babymangaming sends a hundred bitch here and asks 'Phil, will Jasper still be on your streams?' *hissing laugh* Jasper can do no wrong, okay? He's just a cat, see what I mean? He didn't mean anything cause he's just a curious cat. But, *snort* I was looking on Amazon at this 4k tv since, you know, Jasper accidentally pushed the one tv off the stand, and I found this one that has REALLY great reviews but isn't that expensive.... I'm just gonna add that to my wishlist, just in case some generous party wants to help improve the quality of the shtreems....*snort*"

In reality, he'd be so done with that cat, he'd be cat-less and Kat-less faster than you can beg for tips.
 
I have to say, a day without you shitposting assholes was quite boring.

But back on topic, I don't want to jinx anything but is it just me or are so far Phil's interactions very slow and low?
Also he did admit he emptied his little room for a "play room" for Jasper, so I wonder if he locks the cat in there since that was his original plan. Furthermore, we could possibly narrow down the time when he got Jasper, if anyone remembers when he started going on about clearing that little room?



I've not seen anything concrete, I've heard Phil complain about it but his word is worth jack.
The earliest I think I remember him talking about it was when he was talking about how Kathy had been throwing out the multiple broken office chairs he had stashed in there. Not sure how long ago that was.
 
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