❄️ Snowflake Jack Monroe / Melissa "Mel" Hadjicostas / Jack Xatzinikolas / @BootstrapCook - Spaghetti hoop rinser who wants to live like Common People, the face of poverty in Britain, literally can't lie

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lindor dijo:
Question I have wondered for years, where are this cows parents? Could you imagine your kid going to the newspapers making these claims about anorexia and autism you'd ignored in her childhood? Making up stories about living in cramped wee flats when really they had five bedrooms?

Imagine hearing that your grandchild is sitting in a house with no fridge or light bulbs, toys sold, no heating, eating rinsed spaghetti hoops and dry toast while you live in a place that could house them both. At a minimum this must be super fucking embarrassing for them.

Her kids dad and grandparents on that side too, you'd be disgusted to hear the wee one had been living like that. Maybe that's why she doesn't have him anymore.
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A common tactic when dealing with Cluster Bs is to "grey rock" them, i.e. whenever they do something incredibly attention seeking to provoke a reaction out of you, just provide a very calm, boring response.

"I'm rinsing spaghetti hoops to feed myself!"

"Is that so."

"I had to sell all of your grandson's toys!"

"That's unfortunate."

"I'm going to be evicted in a week and then I'll be homeless and then I'll kill myself!!!"

"Hopefully not."

It works better than just blanking them (which they'll latch onto and redouble their attempts to cause a reaction) and eventually they'll find your lack of meaningful response doesn't scratch their itch and they'll get bored and move on. Quite possibly Jack's parents are breathing a sigh of relief that Jack isn't specifically screaming in their letterbox or blaring on and on about being abused as a child in order to get back at them.
 
She's back to suicide baiting, lads. The person who "WROTE" to her is me. Or rather, the courts wrote to her on my behalf when I filed my lawsuit against her. I've never written to her personally. She awaits the terrible threat of being summoned to court where she will be questioned in front of me. Oh no. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person...

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One of her media friends should interview her to ask why she thinks people are out to kill her. And then ask her to provide some of her safety tips so that another paranoids can secure their houses and lives on the cheap. I need that nimble mind that told you to ruin your knives by stabbing cans and fill your home with trash cardboard to turning my castle into a fortress.
 
Apparently you can make the Coronation Quiche for 40p a serving. The original recipe looked dull as fuck so didn't bother looking at her version.

I always forget how royalist she considering her lefty postering
 
calypsowashi dijo:
Apparently you can make the Coronation Quiche for 40p a serving. The original recipe looked dull as fuck so didn't bother looking at her version.

I always forget how royalist she considering her lefty postering
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Yes, at approximately £15 for all of the ingredients. Or you can buy a nice quiche for about £5.
 
calypsowashi dijo:
Apparently you can make the Coronation Quiche for 40p a serving. The original recipe looked dull as fuck so didn't bother looking at her version.

I always forget how royalist she considering her lefty postering
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It's interesting because it comes with the caveat that she'd never made a quiche in her life. So I'm not sure she's best placed to innovate on the Royal Chef's quiche recipe. Anyway here's the official recipe list for Coronation Quiche:

Ingredients​

  • 250g plain flour, plus a little for dusting
  • 50g cold butter, diced
  • 50g lard (or use butter if you prefer)
  • 4 tbsp milk, plus a splash
  • Or 250g block of ready-made shortcrust pastry

For the filling​

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and Jack's version:
For the pastry:

125g plain flour
a pinch of salt
25g soft spread
25g lard
2 tbsp cold water

For the filling:

125ml whole milk
175g full fat cream cheese
2 medium eggs
1 tsp mixed dried herbs
a pinch of salt
plenty of black pepper
100g cheddar cheese
120g frozen spinach
75g frozen peas
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It's worth noting you can get pre-rolled Shortcrust pastry for like £1.20, so that's basically cheaper than buying lard and flour if you didn't already have it. Otherwise she's just swapped butter for margarine, gone for dried/frozen versions of fresh ingredients (which misses the point of the quiche - spinach and broad beans were chosen because they're both in season in England in May) and added cream cheese in place of cream. It's worth noting that if you bought all the ingredients she mentions, the quiche still costs £14.83 to make, which isn't far off how much it costs just to make the actual Coronation Quiche (although for some reason Aldi and Lidl suggest substituting tarragon for basil, which - I'm sure would taste nice but isn't the same at all).
Her recipe instructions do get a bit more classic Jack
First make your pastry. If you have a sieve, sieve the flour and salt together in a bowl, but if you don’t, don’t worry, just decant them straight in, it’ll be fine. Add the soft spread, and the lard, and rub the fats into the flour and salt until it comes together in a crumbly, breadcrumb-like texture. Add the cold water a drop at a time, and mix in with either a fork or spoon handle, or a flat-edged butter knife, to bring it together into a dough.
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Lightly oil your tin with the lightest of touches, and carefully place the pastry into it, taking care not to rip it. if any small tears are made – it can be a fiddly process if you’re not an experienced pastry cook, and I certainly am not one! – you can press them back together gently with your fingertips to reseal them. Cover and chill for a further 30 minutes to firm it up, then trim away any excess at the edges.
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It won't taste as good, but it's probably fine, which is disappointing. I kinda wish we'd seen her take on Nadiya's Coronation Aubergine or Greg Wallace's prawn and pineapple Coronation tacos as that's where her batshit ideas could really flourish.
 
Jack cut the pasty in half but kept the filling more or less the same amounts. Since the way to save money on flour would be to buy more of it rather than the smallest bags, this seems a strange way to stretch your money.
 
AirdropShitposts dijo:
Jack cut the pasty in half but kept the filling more or less the same amounts. Since the way to save money on flour would be to buy more of it rather than the smallest bags, this seems a strange way to stretch your money.
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A prime example of how spoiled she is. Jack Monroe can only afford the best things in life.
 
AirdropShitposts dijo:
this seems a strange way to stretch your money.
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spending £15 on a quiche isn't exactly thrifty is it.

the guardian was doing a meals for £1 recipe section, and every single week, without fail, someone would be up in arms in the comments about not factoring in the cost of using the oven. unfortunately, people in genuine poverty (not the screeching guardianistas) do need to consider this in the UK now. comments were switched off in the guardians Jack puff piece and recipe so no one got the chance to make this observation this time .
 
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Where to begin with this...

1. "I love a chef who isn't precious about their creations, and who actively encourages people to tinker with their work". Yet someone dared make a Platinum Jubilee trifle or some such thing, and she was absolutely VILE to them.

2. "I set to work tweaking it to suit a very low budget brief" - your tweaks are pointless. It makes a VERY small quiche, because you've reduced the amount of pastry used. Pastry is the cheapest component of the lot! Why would you reduce it?

3. "With the apparent blessing of the Royal Family". A social media intern liked your tweet. Watch as this gets twisted into "The Royal Family commissioned me to make this quiche!" or some such self-serving nonsense from an avowed republican...

Sure, Jan.gif
 
I made the coronation quiche. I cba actually making the pastry so I bought ready rolled shortcrust, shoot me. And I added more cheese. It's a nice quiche but not really worth the 15 quid unless you're going to feed a crowd with it.

I also made Nadiya's aubergines, and those are banging. Excellent veg barbecue option if the nicer weather ever comes. Great dressing.
 
Fareal dijo:
I made the coronation quiche. I cba actually making the pastry so I bought ready rolled shortcrust, shoot me. And I added more cheese. It's a nice quiche but not really worth the 15 quid unless you're going to feed a crowd with it.

I also made Nadiya's aubergines, and those are banging. Excellent veg barbecue option if the nicer weather ever comes. Great dressing.
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Was this the actual official coronation quiche, or the shit JM one? Apparently the JM one is tiny, so you'd never feed a crowd with it unless they only got a tiny sliver each.
 
Legal Gengar dijo:
Was this the actual official coronation quiche, or the shit JM one? Apparently the JM one is tiny, so you'd never feed a crowd with it unless they only got a tiny sliver each.
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Actual coronation recipe; I only make food that people will actually be willing to eat. That said, everyone else refused to eat 'egg and spinach pie' so I had to work through the bugger slowly by myself. It's probably better the day after it was baked, for what it's worth.
 
tasty humane burger dijo:
Woop woop congrats pal!
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Thank you!
Fareal dijo:
Actual coronation recipe; I only make food that people will actually be willing to eat. That said, everyone else refused to eat 'egg and spinach pie' so I had to work through the bugger slowly by myself. It's probably better the day after it was baked, for what it's worth.
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IDK, the pie sounds nice—I'd try some.
 
She still hasn't paid me. So far the court hearing is still going ahead. Monday is the limitation date for filing a defamation claim against that MP. I suspect she won't file one (and am checking the High Court filings to see if she does), at which point arguably an offence of fraud by false representation (S2, Fraud Act 2006) has been committed. I shall be referring the matter to Essex Police for their consideration.

They will likely refer it to Action Fraud who are unlikely to do anything about a case with less than £100k in losses. Since we don't know how much she took, it's possible they might then launch an investigation, or they might decide not to. I'm going to recommend that everyone who wants a refund but doesn't get one report the matter to Action Fraud. Numbers count.

Update: I have transferred my website to a new platform (easier to keep updated) which covers the timeline of my legal case. You can see it at https://www.legalgengar.com.

You can also access it at jackmonroe.co.uk or bootstrapcook.co.uk. Enjoy!
 
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