If could bully one historical figure who would it be? - Null is not a historical figure, Ralph is though

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

You have a Time Machine and a force field to protect you from physical harm, but are just a grade school bully with God mode. You aren’t limited to their youth. You can give a wedgie to FDR as he’s doing the “Fear Itself” speech.



Hard mode: not Hitler or Catherine the Great

 

[Muttley]

Voltaire, for being a cuck, and I would sit him down and explain how the Sancti Romani Imperii was in fact both Holy and Roman.

You see, it all started with Clovis I and the unification of the Salii and Ripuarii...

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Malcolm X. I want to fling a water balloon filled with white paint at him.

"Think fast, chucklenuts!"

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

Muhammad, by taking his photograph with my phone and then showing it to him.

 

[Punchoboe]

David Hume

 

[Irredemable Retardation]

Achille Starace, and Italian society, including Mussolini himself, would join me.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Churchill bc he was fat and british.

 

[Rozzy]

Eliot Ness.

 

[Super-Chevy454]

Karl Marx

While we're at it, also Lenin, Trotsky, Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot. So many choices...

 

[Blamo2000]

Oppenheimer. I would just bully him with this.
Ver archivo adjunto 5565723
It would maybe also have the side effect of japan never being nuked and probably the erasure of anime as we know it.

Or just show him some shitty Anime, and the bomb would get 100x bigger. lol

 

[MadStan]

Gandhi. I want him to be my waiter and I want to demand he salt my fucking soup until it’s god damn salty enough.

And the. I want fucking naan bread.

 

[holyhandgrenade]

If we are going for wedgies I am gonna have to give Thatcher the ol wedge. I wanna see those panties on iron mommy.
If we are just plain bullying I want to bully the guy who created gifs for publicly announcing it is pronounced jif he deserves eternal torment

 

[Cats]

I would go back in time and call Kim Jong Il a "chink", and probably slap him a couple of times.

 

[DankSmoker]

I would intervene Mark David Chapmans assasination by running up behind John Lennon and giving him the ole elephant boner.

 

[No. 7 cat]

Abraham Lincoln. He unleashed upon us a plague of niggers from which we've never recovered.

Honest Abe wanted them to go to Liberia and wished for moderation and healing with the South, no aggressive Reconstruction, scallywags and carpetbaggers.

Paul VI so he maybe just became an interior designer and not the near nemesis of Catholicism.

Maybe Louis XVI as dauphin so he became a proper man who consummated his marriage in reasonable time (ie not months) and not become a figure of fun which led to the disaster of the French Revolution.

 

[User names must be unique]

Jesus

 

[TenMilesWide]

All of you are fucking lame. I would bully the Jewish "Messiah", Sabbatai Zevi. He literally proclaimed himself to be the Jewish Messiah while almost every Jew believed in him. He was also very delusional and was bipolar. My man was a lolcow back in the 17th century.

Am I remembering right, is this the one who converted immediately without resistance when some islamic sultan had him locked up on threat of 'convert or die,' losing half his fanbase overnight with the remaining half going on to increasingly absurd mental gymnastics to prove he was still the messiah? lol lmao some martyr.