🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Shadow Fox]

I suppose nobody told him that college was actually about expanding your horizons and making yourself a more well-rounded person.

 

[Goofy Logic]

Sweetie boy wants to be a perpetual student.

Most perpetual students (also called "professional students") are largly because of indescision and moving personal goals (clinging to the social aspect exists as well), but Sweet is unique in that he put his entire life on hold, upset that he could no longer be one, and his reasons are to mooch off of the resources provided by the college.

That is really sad.

 

[AJMLurker]

Well, being of a Moorish persuasion, I'm s'posed tah be pickin' cotton out in da fields right now, but masta gave me a break fo' now! I'm gonna be using my free time to respond to bitch boy Jonny.

I'm late, but I just can't get over '14th century equivalent to the ASU lifestyle'. My. Fucking. Sides

I love how he believes the lifestyle of a 14th century lord is just like attending ASU. What an imbecile.

Her dad was a lawyer, so he would have helped me with my case against The Herald, and I would have buried those lying sons of bitches in court, been cleared of all charges, and returned to A-State as a god.

No. Want to hear a cool story Jonny?

1. You never had a girlfriend. Ever. If some girl actually called your dorm room in college, she was trolling the local assclown of ASU.
2. Assuming you could've found a lawyer to take your autistic case against The Herald, this is the only guy you could've gotten:

3. Here's what would've happened in court. You fucking lose. Your lawyer runs off with a shit ton of your mommy's money. You, Jon Sweet, remain a complete loser.
4. If for some reason the judge and ASU decided to take pity on your autistic ass and allow you back into ASU, you would not return as a "god". Nobody liked you there. You were the local retarded guy that pissed everyone off with his social unawareness.

Never bring up my father again. It was losing him that caused me a lot of my problems in life. Here's your "#Realness", slapnuts. If he was still with us my life would be infinitely better.

So as @Shadow Fox said, you see your dad as nothing more but a tool for your happiness. Your love for him is superficial. Ok, tell us something we don't know. Moving on.

Also your dad was completely ashamed of you Jon.

So, again, you admit that The Herald committed fraud and went for the big, easy plagiarism charge instead of some lesser thing like breach of ethics.

Jon, let me make this clear. You were the retarded assclown at college. The Herald had every right to throw you off the paper without an actual reason. It's only because people like to be nice and not hurt the special snowflake's feelings that they waited for you to do something wrong before giving you the boot. It's the same general reasoning behind why the AJM staff didn't use the banhammer against you when your retarded ass wandered onto the community in 2006. We wanted to be nice despite your blatant weirdness. Also if the staff banned you, you would be still bitching about it.

Thus, they turned my fans and fellow co-workers against me

You had no fans. Your co-workers already hated you, they just tolerated you. Nothing changed except you were fired.

causing them to spend the next year hazing me subtly to frighten me into leaving school.

You were already being pranked, you were just too autistic to realize it. The hazing only got worse because you became even more batshit insane after getting kicked off the paper. It's kinda like how you've become more batshit insane since the Kiwis started exposing you and AJM STUDIOS shut down.

I should stop focusing on recreating that environment and put my energies into wiping it off the map.

An autistic idiot like you can't do anything. ASU will be fine.

The town girls at A-State only go out with college men.

The college-aged girls currently attending ASU would not be interested in hooking up with an overgrown autistic manchild that looks like a pedo, whether you're attending or not. Maybe if they're planning on becoming a special ed teacher, they might spend some time with you to get hands-on experience for their future career.

We'll have another Clinton in the Presidential race next year, and the window is rapidly closing. I have to move quickly or lose my golden opportunity.

You're never returning to ASU. Ever.

That was my whole persona at A-State. I was really quiet and shy in high school, so naturally I thought college was about reinventing yourself and being the life of the party. People seemed to respond favorably to my jokes and columns with laughter and gifts, thus encouraging the behavior that was apparently bothering them.

As I've said before, they were being nice to the special snowflake. See, unlike you, normal people don't respond violently to every little thing that bothers them, even painfully annoying assclowns such as yourself. They were putting on a facade of niceness and you being super autistic, couldn't see through it even though I doubt they were hardly trying. It was only when you upped your autistic idiocy to asinine levels that they decided to take action against you.

I am hunting them down. I'm just not getting my hands dirty. Let someone else handle the rough stuff.

No, you're not. And if you are, you're doing it in a very autistic fashion that won't get you any results.

I wonder how this person's boss would like an e-mail about their recent behavior?

Dr. Merk's boss doesn't give a shit about him sharing stories about an assclown over the internet. Dr Merk's source's boss doesn't give a shit about him sharing stories with Dr. Merk about the retarded assclown he had to deal with in college.

If you by some chance escaped these fates, being an African slave boy

Anyway, let's shift gears here.

Tsk tsk, ya done fucked up Sweetums. Ya done fucked up. Shouldn't of called me boy there. See, I don't mind ya racism joker. Doesn't phase me bro. But, as a 24 year old man, I don't take kindly to a retarded manchild calling me "boy". Then there's the fact you put "African slave" in front of it like a little bitch. Oh, you further lose points for being too retarded to realize I already went through college despite knowing me for 10 years. I remember all the retarded details of your life, ya should show me the same curiosity homie. You know we darkies don't play around, especially with a tard such as yourself.

I'm sorry Sweet, me and mah crew ain't happy. We ain't happy at all with your behavior son. You wanna see da niggas dat I roll with Sweet? I got a pic for ya:

Yo homie! They none too pleased right now motherfucker! They salty as fuck! Dem fightin' words calling me "boy" ya autistic manchild! They be hyped up right now! They're ready to bust in some SKULLS!

We're straight sippin' some 40's right now! Tyrone snortin' some lines! Derrick got yo' picture on da wall and he's CHUCKING KNIVES AT IT! Motherfucker, you tryin' tah step?! We ain't happy with your motherfucking ass right now. Ya bitch ass looks like you be drivin' round ya hood in a van with "FREE CANDY" spray painted on da side. One of mah boys in jail right now for beating a pedophile that touched his daughter!

We know where ya live! We got ya address! It's all on da Farms son! We 'bout to hit Blytheville once we gather up dat drank, some tree, and cop dat yayo! Oh, and we gotta wait fo' R-Street to get outta of prison. He's the only one with a valid driver's license at the moment. But we'll see yo ass in a few weeks Sweetness. I hope you love havin' "Lotta Jiggs" up in yo crib! I know you don't like "Manny Coons" around, but we 'bout to change dat. Teach you a little lesson Mr. Autistic Mothafucker!

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Sweet appears to have a terminal case of Sweet Syndrome. Symptoms include acting like Sweet.

It's odd how Sweet wants to be a perpetual student. Like I think I said before, I figure most conservative men aspire to a conservative lifestyle: having their own home, being a husband and father, and having a successful career. I don't know of too many (read: no one other than Sweet) conservatives who want to spend their days as a perpetual college student for the perks, ever in half-past 1997.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Anyone else love his "I just need that x-factor to get college women interested in me" explanation? Like he doesn't understand the concept of people dating people around their age. Somehow it's too abstract for him.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Anyone else love his "I just need that x-factor to get college women interested in me" explanation? Like he doesn't understand the concept of people dating people around their age. Somehow it's too abstract for him.

He's been told before that his appearance is a billboard-size warning to women that he is genetically defective and that they should under no circumstances have sex with him. So far, every woman who has encountered him has heeded this deeply ingrained human instinct. His best shot at this point is a blind prostitute with a defective sense of smell and a sturdy, crush-proof build.

 

[Cave]

Normally Jon's painful ignorance and stupidity doesn't phase me, but I was actually taken aback by his response to me. For two reasons:
1. I didn't expect senpai to notice me. He's usually busy tarding out about you or @HSMOF or @DrChristianTroy. It was a surprise to see him directly respond to me since he never does.
but the more important reason,
2. I was not prepared to see him use my seizure as a way to bash epileptic people.

I can handle Sweet mocking me for my skin color. I expect his 19th century view of black people so I can easily laugh him off when he starts going off about "da niggos", but seeing his painful ignorance toward epileptic people made me lose my composure (and NOT for the reason that Sweet thinks). That's why I retaliated to his crap by bringing up his autism as many times as I could.

The fact that this idiot actually believes that epileptic people are seen as second-class citizens and are actively discriminated against, wow, just wow. What a grade A exceptional individual. Sweet, I know you're special, so I'll make this clear. Epileptic people are not actively barred from colleges or jobs. They're not seen as problems on society. Thanks to modern medicine, epilepsy can be treated and people can live productive lives with it. Also normal college students do not haze the epileptic kid at college despite what your sick mind believes. If you were to try to haze someone because of their epilepsy, the result would not be pretty for you Jon.

BTW Sweet, this was my first seizure ever and I most likely don't have epilepsy. My doctors believe the seizure was brought on by a combination of stress, lack of sleep, being malnourished, and being on my ADHD medicine at the time. So believe it or not, you're really not attacking me with your spiel against epileptics.

There is actually an AJMer who has suffered multiple seizures though. I don't know the specifics, but seizures have been a problem for him. @Treenbeen knows who I am referring to here. If anything, Jon's spiel against epileptics is an attack against him, not me.

Needless to say, profound ignorance is not something I play around with. You have reveal what a true ignorant fuckjob you are Jon with your view of epileptics. Jesus, you truly are stuck in the 1800's, aren't ya? I've been avoiding saying this, but you need a lobotomy and fast Jon.

Also dumbass, you are under the impression that a black person with epilepsy would not be able to make it in this society. Jason Snelling and Danny Glover say hi bitch!

I'm sorry that you had to go through a seizure. I've been told it's a terrible thing to experience. Why he thinks he can build a case against you because you had a seizure is confusing.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

He's been told before that his appearance is a billboard-size warning to women[...]

No doubt Sweet heard that as some kind of Totally Not Whitewash Jones speak.

 

[Adamska]

Sweet appears to have a terminal case of Sweet Syndrome. Symptoms include acting like Sweet.

It's odd how Sweet wants to be a perpetual student. Like I think I said before, I figure most conservative men aspire to a conservative lifestyle: having their own home, being a husband and father, and having a successful career. I don't know of too many (read: no one other than Sweet) conservatives who want to spend their days as a perpetual college student for the perks, ever in half-past 1997.

Well what do you expect from an entitled welfare queen like Jonny here? He's the posterchild for why the right hates extensive welfare programs.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

A desperate man, is who. The cops were useless. They couldn't keep him in jail and my brother's behavior was getting worse every time he got out. His lawyer has told us if he hadn't gotten help and gone straight, he'd be rotting in prison right this minute on a 7-10 year stick. I simply made a few contingency plans. When he stole the money I was saving towards my return to school, that was the last straw.

Keep on doing what you're doing Jonny, and you'll be doing a 7-10 year stick on top of the almost 20 years you've spent in a prison of your own making.

 

[AnOminous]

A 7-10 year STICK? Who the fuck calls it that? Is that some inbreed tard talk language unheard of in human company?

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

A 7-10 year STICK? Who the fuck calls it that? Is that some inbreed tard talk language unheard of in human company?

Sweet has a serious problem with English diction. The word his diseased and defective brain is groping for is stretch. And it always amuses me when, like the retarded redneck he is, he use perspective when prospective is called for. And in one of his recent outbursts he uses compliant where complicit is the correct word. His actual IQ is a lot closer to 87 than it is to the 137 he claims.

Also, his idea that he knows me and that I'm one of the people he "hurt" at ASU is amusing. If Sweet had ever harmed me, he would remember the consequences till the day he dies and would piss himself in terror at the mention of my name.

And by all means, Sweet, start contacting the employers of the people you've been harassing for the past 20 years. You've done it before with no consequences to your victims. They've been in touch with each other and are tired of being stalked by a violent, convicted criminal. Your fat ass will look good in a prison jumpsuit. As usual, you are not thinking clearly when you believe that your mental illness gives you immunity from the judicial system.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I just realized that this man has been holding his gay grudge for as long as I've been alive.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

grudge for as long as I've been alive

It's like someone else said -- in the time that Sweet has kept himself stuck in half-past 1997 complaining about progress and thirsting for revenge, many have been born, grown up, and are now going to college themselves.

The vast majority of them won't get kicked out for sociopathic behavior being lovable rascals who are too conservative.

 

[AJMLurker]

The vast majority of them won't get kicked out for antagonistic behavior being lovable rascals who are too conservative.

While Sweet will never admit it, he must suffer from horrible cognitive dissonance. He's a narcissist that believes he's a god in human form, yet everyday, he constantly experiences massive evidence that nobody likes or respects him. For the last 20 or so years, Sweet has been able to rationalize that all these haters are just dorky progressive liberals, but it must be hard for him at this point. All he has left is his short time at ASU. Because of his autism, he can't understand that A. people were pretending to be nice to him and B. he severely misinterpreted people's intentions there.

I bet he depends on Kim Possible and other cartoons to maintain his loose grasp on his sanity. Autistics tend to suffer from sensory overlord so a few cartoons probably does Sweetness wonders.

P.S. How can you be so stupid that you consider a pile of pennies as gifts. Yep, I totally go to the store and buy my shit with a pile of god damn pennies!

 

[Chan the Wizard]

He's too dumb to google "pennies door prank."

 

[AnOminous]

He's too dumb to google "pennies door prank."

There's videos, too, if his piece of shit computer can actually play them.

Here, Sweet, you fucking cretin, suck this down at 56Kbps you moron.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I bet he depends on Kim Possible and other cartoons to maintain his loose grasp on his sanity.

If not for DVD's and shows streamed free on the Internet, I'd go mad....

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

The_Iconoclast said: ↑
If not for DVD's and shows streamed free on the Internet, I'd go mad....

His loose grasp of verb tenses and how to form the plurals of nouns is on display again.

It should read: "Despite DVDs [no apostrophe, eejit] and shows streamed free on the Internet, I have gone mad . . ."

And here's more proof from his "Sexy Pics" collection that Sweet wants to have sex with men.

Spoiler: Sweet Likes Men With Breasts and Long Hair

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Anyway, let's shift gears here.

Tsk tsk, ya done fucked up Sweetums. Ya done fucked up. Shouldn't of called me boy there. See, I don't mind ya racism joker. Doesn't phase me bro. But, as a 24 year old man, I don't take kindly to a retarded manchild calling me "boy". Then there's the fact you put "African slave" in front of it like a little bitch. Oh, you further lose points for being too retarded to realize I already went through college despite knowing me for 10 years. I remember all the retarded details of your life, ya should show me the same curiosity homie. You know we darkies don't play around, especially with a tard such as yourself.

I'm sorry Sweet, me and mah crew ain't happy. We ain't happy at all with your behavior son. You wanna see da niggas dat I roll with Sweet? I got a pic for ya:

Jon Sweet has written about a couple of different physical conflicts he's had with African Americans, ranging from a couple of angry men of indiscriminate age, to a twelve-year old, who both fooled him into purchasing a hot lawnmower (when he was a glorified stockboy and had no business doing so) as well as held an office door shut on him.

In not a single one of these incidents did Sweet start the conflict. In not a single one of these incidents did Sweet expect the conflict. In not a single one of these incidents was Sweet able to land a single punch or defend himself in any way. And finally, in every single one of these incidents, in every single fight or disagreement that Sweet has ever had with black males (including this writer) Sweet was easily bested, left broken and miserable, and whining that nobody came to help him. Every. Single. One.

Hey, @AJMLurker ? You remember what his house looks like, right? Photos can be provided.

Also, Jon, since you're too ignorant to look up history, I should mention that Moors ruled parts of Europe for quite a while. You know, lords and such. If AJM Lurker was around back then, he would've kicked ass.

Oh, and incidentally, Thumbskull: Epilepsy (which Lurker reported he likely doesn't have) can be controlled. Ugly, though? That's permanent, in your case.