🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[DrJonesHat]

IIRC, Sweet's "golden ticket" back to ASU is that we somehow uncovered the conspiracy by his college dean of faking Sweet's diagnosis of mental illness to keep him from returning to school.

His documented behavior both before and after his expulsion is more than enough to keep him banned for life. No subterfuge is necessary.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I think he also said he wore the yellow cape that Jonichu wears, and a Button Cap of Fail.

The world of Sweet is apparently so small that any subjects seen in Belch Dimension probably directly come from Sweet's life or stuff Sweet saw on TV, without much alteration or adaptation.

litter

Which also included old incandescent light bulbs that Sweet would shatter to hear gunshot sounds -- not to be confused with the real gunshot sounds that could be heard in what Sweet described as a "black neighborhood," of course.

No subterfuge is necessary.

As we already know, due to an obvious poor theory of mind and ego problem, Sweet sees his antisocial behavior as totally justifiable, so therefore the only explanation that seems reasonable to him is that there is a liberal conspiracy that kicked him out for being too conservative. Which leads to him thinking that if he can get the progressives fired from ASU, he'll be graciously readmitted to the basically promised land that is ASU on that golden ticket.

THIS IS WHAT SWEET ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

IIRC, Sweet's "golden ticket" back to ASU is that we somehow uncovered the conspiracy by his college dean of faking Sweet's diagnosis of mental illness to keep him from returning to school.

And so we see that once again - once again - Jon's perspective on what he deems an especially important part of his life has been significantly altered by the words of internet strangers he claims are stupid, and don't know what they're talking about.

Basically, we own his brain. Anybody remember where we put the receipt?

 

[Holdek]

And so we see that once again - once again - Jon's perspective on what he deems an especially important part of his life has been significantly altered by the words of internet strangers he claims are stupid, and don't know what they're talking about.

Along thes lines, I find it humorous that we are the only ones who read his blog, yet he refers to us in the third person.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Along thes lines, I find it humorous that we are the only ones who read his blog, yet he refers to us in the third person.

Excellent point, and that is very funny. I wonder what it would take to finally get him to admit that no one really pays attention to him but us?

 

[Le Bateleur]

Here's the quote from dA where Sweet Bro unveils his masterplan (props to @DrChristianTroy for continuing to bring the Sweet content):

You idiots have your uses. Like Holly said, you uncovered Leo Greer's participation in a scheme to fake a $500 psych eval to keep me from returning to school, plus Doc Murky's little "interviews" (most of which are fabricated out of whole cloth or conducted through highly biased sources, hardly what I'd call good journalism) have given me plenty of ammunition to use against my old "friends". Real or not, that information should be just what I need to create a schism between the 1997 Herald editorial board and the present Herald eds, then ride the wave of dissent right back into A-State. I suppose I owe you something for that.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

You idiots have your uses.

And Sweet probably wonders why he has no friends.

Spoiler

Also, it's kind of hilarious that Sweet thinks we're idiots and then descends into that delirious rambling.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Yo @He Set Me On Fire, apparently he thinks you'll get attacked in an alley at any given moment.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Yo @He Set Me On Fire, apparently he thinks you'll get attacked in an alley at any given moment.

[Looks at thread]

Well now. Time to whip out the ugly stick.

Doc Murky's little "interviews" (most of which are fabricated out of whole cloth or conducted through highly biased sources, hardly what I'd call good journalism)

You don’t know who his sources are, Thumbscrews. Besides, you’ve yet to say anything that denies his testimony is true. Often, he’s merely adding detail to stories you already blabbed. Further, he’s not making an attempt at journalism. Seeing as how you were never actually a journalist, but a perpetual whiner, you should understand that.

have given me plenty of ammunition to use against my old "friends". Real or not, that information should be just what I need to create a schism between the 1997 Herald editorial board and the present Herald eds, then ride the wave of dissent right back into A-State. I suppose I owe you something for that.

No, you silly ugmo, no. No one likes your work. No one believes in you. No one supports you but your mother, and according to the garbage you draw, even she thinks you’re delusional. You are a failure and will ever be one, unless you change your tune. But then, as you say, change is bad, so you’re going to die alone and poor.

Let me repeat:

You are going to die alone and poor.

Yeah... I don't see those commercials All the ones I see are ads for boner pills, hair plugs, and those 1-800-number spots where you can order all manner of toys and gadgets over the phone.

Sometimes we see only what we want to see, Fingerhead.

There are rules.

Post the rules, Jon. Post them or you are lying. Show evidence of where these rules are written, or who they’re enforced on other than you. Otherwise, you’re just an incompetent retard who can’t work something as basic as a digital TV box.

And yet insulting my personal appearance is perfectly acceptable?

Yes, you beady-eyed, jawless, deformed, egg-domed, crank-necked, testical-headed FAE baby. It’s especially acceptable, because you insult others for their skin color, but worse than that is your ridiculous notion that women would ever, ever desire you for sex. You have said some vile things about women and sex, the most sickening and deluded of which implies that you are in any way desirable.

You are a poor, lazy, bigoted, responsibility-dodging, maladjusted, perverted, cowardly, criminally-inclined welfare queen who provides absolutely nothing of any value for society, and leeches of the hard work of others.

There is nothing, nothing that any woman would want from you.

You have nothing to offer.

But it is wholly deranged to even consider yourself desirable with that pile of living nightmares on top of your overly-long neck. It's a poorly arranged wad of skin around squished, rat-like features. You weren't born, Horrorface, you were molded by a demented kindergartner with behavioral problems and ADHD. Don't even get me started on that bowling pin of a body.

No one wants you, Jon.

No one wants you, Jon.

The only way Jon Sweet will ever have sexual relations with a woman is if he gets a job in a funeral home and tries to get it on with a corpse.

A dead body may be less inclined to resist your advances, Jon, but that remains to be seen.

Unlike the gay community's whole "we're born this way" ploy,

1. Stay on point, artless dodger.

2. Learn how to use your own computer, Thumb Sucker, before you say anything about a group of people you know nothing about.

you really are born looking the way you look. Barring extensive and costly plastic surgery, that can't be helped.

Sure it can. Go get some plastic surgery, or buy yourself a paper bag. Problem solved.

So H.S. should really knock off the cheap shots and the "thumb-head" cracks, otherwise I think we should see how he looks after someone catches up to him in a dark alley, kicks him in the head a few times, then slices off his nose, jabs out one of his eyes, and carves up his cheeks and forehead with that good old eight-inch knife@.

Heheheheheheh.

Jon, you don’t frighten me. I’ve often made a relaxation exercise out of visualizing me beating you within an inch of your life. It calms me down to see you on the ground, blood gushing from your busted lip and crushed nostrils, begging me to please, please not cut you again with the knife I easily smacked out of your hand, only to have me stomp on your fingers again, and kick you where your chin should be. I tell ya, I sleep like a baby after that.

The funniest and most relaxing part is the image I have of you pleading, with a steadily weakening voice, to let you out of the storage unit I stuffed you in, or at least for another bowl of Alpo and pencil shavings. See, that’s all I’d slide into the room for you to eat. You can scream as loud as you want (or could, frankly, seeing as how one of those punches to your throat destroyed your larynx), but no one would come to your rescue. Oh, they’d know where you were. Everyone would know where you were. But, they wouldn’t come get you, because, see, I’d have given the world a gift: the gift of No Jon Sweet. A world no longer plagued by a butt-ugly, impotent, worthless Thumbskull who produces nothing but trash and empty threats.

Because, in this calming exercise of mine, just like in real life, no one wants you. And no matter how much you beg, plead, and demand, no one comes to help you. No one buys your books. No one donates any money. And you know this. You know that everything I, and the rest of the Kiwis have said, are right - because we get you to respond every single time.

You've allowed us control over your brain. I guess we owe you something for that. Here it is:

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Sweet's probably waiting for that assistant to come along to tell him how to dox HSMOF.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Pretty optimistic that Sweets could get any job. He has a better chance of stealing a corpse.

Spoiler

Let's be real. His best chance is when his mom dies.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

die alone and poor

Unless Sweet changes his tune, not only will he die alone and poor, he'll die alone and poor while constantly stewing in impotent wrath for decades. That's gotta be unhealthy like constantly breathing in excessive mold spores is.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Incidentally, why would I be in a dark alley? Alone and unarmed?

You're dumber than invertebrates, Thumbles.

 

[DrJonesHat]

I do believe the good doctors M and Troy have touched a rather sensitive nerve. Good job @DrChristianTroy on bringing us fresh content.

I'm giggling that Sweet thinks we inadvertently revealed the evil scheme to keep him out of college.

Sweet, you have over three semesters of documented harassment. You made threats. You've threatened us, so it's not hard for us to believe you did the same thing to the ASU staff/faculty. They didn't need to make anything up to kick you out. They had their pick of reasons to get rid of you, reasons you and you alone provided. The psych eval you were ordered to get was a last chance to remain at ASU that you didn't deserve. There was no conspiracy to kick you out or keep you out. You brought it on yourself with your behavior. All you had to do was get the damn eval. I'm doubtful it cost $500, but even if it did, most places would have worked out a payment plan with you if you asked, or you could have gotten a part-time job, which would have given you some valuable real-world experience.

Also, the 97 Herald staff is long gone. They wouldn't be involved in any decision to get you back in. Lots of people have said this, but I'll say it one last time: YOU CAN'T GO BACK TO ASU. You have a signed confession of plagiarism on file. You have multiple semesters of documented harassing behavior. The ASU campus police had to show up at your house after you were expelled to get you to stop harassing the families of people your deluded mind included in the conspiracy that exists only in your head. Nothing you want is going to happen. You need to pick realistic goals. Since you have no idea how to do that, I suggest you start looking for a therapist that either works on a sliding scale or does pro-bono work. You are in dire need of professional help. Stop bitching on the internet and fix your goddamn wreck of a life. This is the last time I'll try to talk some sense into you. If you continue on your usual path, I will rejoin the others in mocking you.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

About the dark alley and HSMOF thing, that's not the first time he apparently speaks of getting goons to do dirty work for him, or doing it himself (why specify that a knife has to be 8 inches?). That's about as feasible as Sweet getting that golden ticket to ASU. And it just reinforces exactly why he was banned. Hint: it does not have to do with being too conservative.

Also, this may have been discussed before, but what was in those harassing letters and emails Sweet sent the Herald Staff?

[words]

You can talk to Sweet until you're blue in the face, but all he probably hears is Whitewash Jones speak a mockery of the speech of "severely retarded" people blah blah blah. Sweet will probably keep trying to get that Golden Ticket for the rest of his life.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

My eternal question to Sweetums is "How's that been working out for you?"

Moving on isn't a ploy, it's the cornerstone of a healthy life. Even if statutes of limitations didn't exist (and they do), the wisdom of pursuing some kind of legal action against a university after almost twenty years of doing nothing but brooding about that legal action is dubious as fuck.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Also, it's amusing how Troy is getting Sweet worked up about the taco salad thing.

While I don't think it's possible to "steal" culture just by imitation, Sweet is overreacting, complete with made up insults involving words I don't think Mama Sweet would like him using.

 

[DrJonesHat]

My eternal question to Sweetums is "How's that been working out for you?"

Moving on isn't a ploy, it's the cornerstone of a healthy life. Even if statutes of limitations didn't exist (and they do), the wisdom of pursuing some kind of legal action against a university after almost twenty years of doing nothing but brooding about that legal action is dubious as fuck.

You bring up a good point. Anything Sweet could have possibly sued for is probably long past its time limit. I'm sure the university itself has a time limit on contesting disciplinary actions, which I am also sure has long since expired. Of course, no one told him about things like that, but the law applies even if you don't know it.

 

[Adamska]

Also, it's amusing how Troy is getting Sweet worked up about the taco salad thing.

While I don't think it's possible to "steal" culture just by imitation, Sweet is overreacting, complete with made up insults involving words I don't think Mama Sweet would like him using.

Of all the things to scream in rage at, he picks the fact we now know he's too retarded to just get salad like a normal person.

Not that he's an ex-convict. Not that he is a repeat offender. Not that he is a sex offender. Not that he's been jailed for attempted murder. Not that he was almost arrested for terroristic threats.

It was the fucking salad.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It was the fucking salad.

Nah, that wasn't about the salad bar thing. It was about a recent dA journal entry where Sweet said he was eating taco salad. Troy called it "white nonsense" among other things. Sweet responded by getting unreasonably mad.

Also, Sweet said he learned the taco salad recipe at ASU, and he added it was one thing that wasn't a lie that he learned there.