🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[TowinKarz]

@Le Bateleur @ToroidalBoat

Good points, my former puzzlement has just been solved, he's angry because he's a cheapskate who's finally milked an obsolete system to the point where he has to upgrade since, like a Soviet-Built Tank, as durable as it was, the parts eventually wore out and you can't order replacements anymore because the factory, country and IDEOLOGY that made the original are all out of business....... and probably can't find a sympathetic charity to just bring him up to spec out of pity.

It all makes sense now.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It all makes sense now.

If you've already read the early posts in this thread, you'll see that Sweet has an excessive aversion to change -- the college life he adapted to in "half-past 1997" ceased to be, and it seems he's been obsessed with trying to get back to it ever since in every way he can.

Also, I recall Sweet describing new TVs as being like Buck Rogers technology computers.

 

[TowinKarz]

I knew he was obsessed with the collegiate era of his life, (one of the few cows to get hung up there as opposed to high school) but, I always wondered why out of all the things that have gone away since 1998 did he latch onto that one.... and not, say, the Game Boy, or geocities.... but, the more you learn. Even the perpetual highschoolers like Chris seem to really like HDTV and the growing utility of the internet, or at least don't complain about trackball mouses, CRC monitors and Win95 being long-gone.

 

[APEX TESTICULAR FORTITUDE]

So is this guy a virgin or what

 

[DrJonesHat]

As far as we can tell, Sweet's never known a woman's touch.

 

[Adamska]

His only experience with women is phone sex from one of his earliest trolls.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

So is this guy a virgin or what

phone sex

Let's put it this way -- ideal dating to Sweet is "girls randomly calling guys for sex" in college dorms. "When the phone rings, the pants come off." All because a girl randomly called Sweet and decided to troll him.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

So is this guy a virgin or what

Well, given the evidence ...

Spoiler: The evidence

... it seems highly, highly probable. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if we learned, by some horrific circumstance, that this guy turned out to have an inverted penis.

 

[APEX TESTICULAR FORTITUDE]

Well, given the evidence ...

He looks like Trevor from GTA5.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

So, I know that Sweets has this huge aversion to change and new technologies and everything and I'm reminded of when I was setting up one of the new TVs at my parents' house.

So I have to ask Sweets directly, and I know I'm not gonna get a response until fucking 2016 but hey, Sweets:

Has no one ever told you how instruction manuals work?

 

[TowinKarz]

Yeah, But nobody TOLD HIM to read it........

His disjointed manner of writing and flawed theory of mind makes me wonder, seriously, if he has similarly bad reading comprehension,? To the point he can't use one, or refuse to consult them on principle? (he won't be talked down to and assumed to be dumb by whatever pansy liberal wrote this Buck Rogers gobbledygook!)

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Stopped reading when he bitched about how behind the times his place is. Bitch your mom has Facebook. Your old ass, dying of black mold inhalation mom can do this. You're just too stupid.

That and "MTV sensibility." Dogg, MTV doesn't think pop culture died in 1997. Old ass "Millenials love the hashtags amirite" shit.

 

[melty]

It cracks me up that he lists Myspace like people still use it. At least we know he's being sincerely dumb.

Also, my dad was a journalist for years and I don't recall him getting free movie tickets or any of the other shit Sweet thinks he would get. I guess he got into high school football games for free but those are free anyway.
Also, Sweet can't drive, so let's say he did magically become a newspaperman again, either at ASU or hell lets say the Washington Post because this is all pointless speculating anyway. Does he think all journalists have their own personal chauffeurs?

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

I think he's under the impression that the news stories come to the journalists and not the other way around.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

It cracks me up that he lists Myspace like people still use it. At least we know he's being sincerely dumb.

Also, my dad was a journalist for years and I don't recall him getting free movie tickets or any of the other shit Sweet thinks he would get. I guess he got into high school football games for free but those are free anyway.
Also, Sweet can't drive, so let's say he did magically become a newspaperman again, either at ASU or hell lets say the Washington Post because this is all pointless speculating anyway. Does he think all journalists have their own personal chauffeurs?

Only way he would get free tickets would be if he were a film reviewer. Even then those tickets are free to everyone as long as you use Gofobo and sign up for free screenings. The journalists just have "guaranteed" tickets as opposed to having to wait in line. Regardless if that's his demand of journalism there are a lot easier ways of getting it done than waiting for old acquaintances from college to die.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Yeah, I'm a book reviewer and I get free books all the time. Lots of them are shitty books written by people no smarter than Sweet, so it's a mixed blessing at best.

One of my friends was a movie reviewer for years and it kind of made him hate movies for a while after he stopped.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

news stories come to the journalists

So you're saying that he thinks a journalist can't get a scoop if no one tells them about it?

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Let's put it this way -- ideal dating to Sweet is "girls randomly calling guys for sex" in college dorms. "When the phone rings, the pants come off." All because a girl randomly called Sweet and decided to troll him.

Well, given the evidence ...

Spoiler: The evidence

Ver archivo adjunto 55883 Ver archivo adjunto 55884 Ver archivo adjunto 55885 Ver archivo adjunto 55886

... it seems highly, highly probable. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if we learned, by some horrific circumstance, that this guy turned out to have an inverted penis.

Sweet's belief that "barely legal" 15-year-old girls are driven into a libidinous frenzy by fantasizing about having sex with someone who looks like the result of a homunculus engaging in coitus with a frog is one of the strangest of his many delusions.

I'm beginning to suspect that he's actually gay. His attempts to pass as straight are certainly as inept as the evidence he produces to support his claims to be an artist and a writer. And he's far too stupid to be aware that academic research has proved that his homophobia is a sure sign that he responds enthusiastically to gay porn. (Link: Is Homophobia Associated With Gay Arousal?")

 

[Le Bateleur]

Sweet's belief that "barely legal" 15-year-old girls are driven into a libidinous frenzy by fantasizing about having sex with someone who looks like the result of a homunculus engaging in coitus with a frog is one of the strangest of his many delusions.

I'm beginning to suspect that he's actually gay. His attempts to pass as straight are certainly as inept the evidence he produces to support his claims to be an artist and a writer. And he's far too stupid to be aware that academic research has proved that his homophobia is a sure sign that he responds enthusiastically to gay porn. (Link: Is Homophobia Associated With Gay Arousal?"

Also someone suggested it back before he was too afraid to post here anymore, and he got very defensive and denied it. "I'm not a fruit", I believe were his words. Given his record of denying things that have later been proven true (), and he dA favourites include at least three volumes of a magical forced transgenderism comic, I don't think it's beyond the realms of possibility that he's at least bisexual.

I think he's under the impression that the news stories come to the journalists and not the other way around.

He has some weird autistic beliefs about journalism. He seriously believes having a "press badge" allows one to trespass with legal impunity.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Sweet's belief that "barely legal" 15-year-old girls are driven into a libidinous frenzy by fantasizing about having sex with someone who looks like the result of a homunculus engaging in coitus with a frog is one of the strangest of his many delusions.

If anything is glaringly obvious from any of Sweets's works, it's that the concept of "sex" is pretty alien to him.